Sex for dummies

433 Pages·2007·10.86 MB·english

by  Ruth K Westheimer

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Universal Praise for Bestselling
Author Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer
“Dr. Ruth Westheimer is the Stealth fighter of sex education.”
—San Jose Mercury News,1995
“Her image is synonymous with sex . . . .”
—Time,1987
“Dr. Ruth writes the way she talks — enthusiastically, nonjudgmentally,
and informatively. . . .”
—Booklist,1994
“Her energy level is higher than that of a charged particle.”
—People Magazine,1985
“She can seemingly say things on the air that no one else can. This could
be because she is short and sweet and takes her job seriously . . . .”
—New York Times,1985
“America’s star sexologist . . . .”
—TV Guide
“Her manner is down-to-earth and reassuring . . . she tries to make people
feel better, value themselves, trust their instincts . . . .”
—Ladies’ Home Journal,1986
“If height were measured in courage, determination and hard work, this
little lady would be 10 feet tall.”
—Newsday,1987
“Her name and the distinctive thrill of her voice have become inextricably
linked with the subject of sex.”
—New York Times,1992
“This textbook style resource is comprehensive and easy to use.
Accessible and up-to-date, it focuses on basic sexuality information and
education for adults.”
—SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council
of the United States) on Sex For Dummies,1st Edition
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Sex
FOR
DUMmIES
‰
3
RD EDITION
by Dr.Ruth K.Westheimer with Pierre A.Lehu
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Sex For Dummies®, 3rd Edition
Published by
Wiley Publishing, Inc.
111 River St.
Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774
www.wiley.com
Copyright © 2007 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana. Text and author-created materials
copyright © 2007 Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer.
Published by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana
Published simultaneously in Canada
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or
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Library of Congress Control Number: 2006932685
ISBN-13: 978-0-470-04523-7
ISBN-10: 0-470-04523-X
Manufactured in the United States of America
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About the Author
Dr. Ruth K. Westheimeris a psychosexual therapist who helped pioneer the
field of media psychology with her radio program, Sexually Speaking,which
first aired in New York in 1981. Within a few years, she had built a communi-
cations network to distribute her expertise that included television, books,
newspapers, games, calendars, home videos, and computer software.
Dr. Westheimer studied psychology at the Sorbonne in Paris, received her
Master’s Degree in Sociology from the Graduate Faculty of the New School of
Social Research and her Doctorate of Education (EdD) in the Interdisciplinary
Study of the Family from Columbia University Teacher’s College. Working at
Planned Parenthood prompted her to further her education in human sexual-
ity by studying under Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan at New York Hospital–Cornell
University Medical Center. She later participated in the program for five years
as an adjunct associate professor. She has also taught at Lehman College,
Brooklyn College, Adelphi University, Columbia University, and West Point.
She is currently an associate fellow at Calhoun College at Yale University,
where she teaches a class on the family, a fellow at Butler College at Princeton
University, where she teaches a class on the Jewish family in the Department
of Judaic Studies, and an adjunct professor at New York University.
Dr. Westheimer is a fellow of New York Academy of Medicine and has her own
private practice in New York. She frequently lectures around the world,
including at universities, and has twice been named “College Lecturer of the
Year.” She has received honorary doctorates from Hebrew Union College—
Institute of Religion, Trinity College, and Lehman College, as well as a Medal
of Excellence from Columbia Teacher’s College.
Dr. Westheimer has written 31 books. Some of the others include Dr. Ruth’s
Encyclopedia of Sex, Dr. Ruth’s Sex After 50, The Art of Arousal, The Olive and
the Tree: The Secret Strengths of the Druze,and Rekindling Romance For
Dummies. AndDr. Ruth can be found on the Web at www.drruth.com.
Pierre A. Lehuhas been Dr. Ruth’s “Minister of Communications” for more
than 25 years. He has co-authored 13 books with her.
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Dedication
“The reticent do not learn; the hot-tempered do not teach.”
Chapters of the Fathers 2.6
To the memory of my entire family who perished during the Holocaust — I
am thankful that they had the opportunity to instill in me the much cherished
values of the Jewish Tradition before they were lost to me. And to the
memory of my beloved late husband, Manfred Westheimer.
To my wonderful family of now: my daughter, Miriam Westheimer, EdD; my
son-in-law, Joel Einleger; my grandson, Ari Einleger; my granddaughter, Leora
Einleger; my son, Joel Westheimer, PhD.; my daughter-in-law, Barbara Leckie,
PhD.; my granddaughter, Michal Leckie; and my grandson, Benjamin
Westheimer!
Author’s Acknowledgments
I am grateful and appreciate the tremendous contribution in writing this book
made by Pierre Lehu. Pierre and I are now entering our 26th year of working
together! He is the best “Minister of Communications” anybody could wish
for. A special toast to Pierre and to many more years of cooperation.
I have so many people to thank it would require an additional chapter, so let
me just mention a few: David Best, MD; Gwynne Bloomfield-Pike; Marcie Citron;
Martin Englisher; Cynthia Fuchs Epstein, PhD, and Howard Epstein; Gabe Erem;
David Goslin, PhD; David Hager; Mark Hager; Alfred Kaplan; Steve Kaplan, PhD;
Robert Krasner, MD; Ronnie and Michael Kassan; John Kilcullen; Marga and
BillKunreuther; Stephen Lassonde, PhD; Gabrielle Lehu; Peter Lehu; Lou
Lieberman, PhD, and Mary Cuadrado, PhD; John and Ginger Lollos; Sanford
Lopater, PhD; Jonathan Mark; Mary Jane Minkin, MD; Dale Ordes; Fred
andAnnRosenberg; Cliff and Eleanor Rubin; Peter Schaefer; Joanne Seminara;
Roseand Simeon Schreiber; Daniel Schwartz; Amir Shaviv; JerrySingerman,
PhD; Richard Stein; Hannah Strauss; Betsy and WilliamSledge, MD; Kathy
Welton; Greg Willenborg; Ben Yagoda; and FromaZeitlin, PhD.
To the Wiley staff: What a terrific, hard working, competent, and expert group
you are to work with! Thanks especially to Stephen Kippur, Wiley’s president,
for his overall supervision, and to Alissa Schwipps and Vicki Adang for their
hard work. I also want to thank Kathy Nebenhaus, Kathy Cox, Lindsay
McGregor, and our new technical editors, Christopher F. Fariello, PhD, MA,
LMFT, and LeeAnne M. Nazer, MD.
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Publisher’s Acknowledgments
We’re proud of this book; please send us your comments through our Dummies online registration
form located at www.dummies.com/register/.
Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following:
Acquisitions, Editorial, and Composition Services
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Senior Project Editor: Alissa Schwipps
Layout and Graphics: Lavonne Cook,
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JoanFriedman)
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Copy Editor: Vicki Adang
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Technical Editors: Christopher F. Fariello, PhD,
MA, LMFT, and LeeAnne M. Nazer, MD
Senior Editorial Manager: Jennifer Ehrlich
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Publishing and Editorial for Consumer Dummies
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Contents at a Glance
Introduction.................................................................1
Part I: Getting Ready for Sex.........................................9
Chapter 1: So You Want to Know More about Sex........................................................11
Chapter 2: Tuning the Male Organ.................................................................................23
Chapter 3: Demystifying the Female Parts....................................................................39
Chapter 4: Courtship, Marriage, and Commitment: Getting to Yes...........................57
Chapter 5: It’s All about Control: Contraception and Sex...........................................71
Chapter 6: Growing Up Fast: The Challenges of the Teen Years..............................101
Part II: Doing It........................................................115
Chapter 7: Foreplay: Revving Up Your Engines..........................................................117
Chapter 8: Intercourse: Coming Together for the First Time...................................131
Chapter 9: Changing Positions: Variations on a Theme............................................143
Chapter 10: Going for the Big O....................................................................................163
Chapter 11: Afterplay: Embracing the Moment..........................................................173
Chapter 12:Spicing Up Your Sex Life...........................................................................179
Part III: Different Strokes..........................................185
Chapter 13: Enjoying Oral Sex......................................................................................187
Chapter 14: Savoring Solo Play and Fantasy...............................................................197
Chapter 15:Keeping Up with Cybersex and Other Hot Stuff....................................211
Chapter 16: Celebrating Same-Sex Relationships.......................................................227
Chapter 17: Conquering the Challenges of Mature Sex.............................................239
Chapter 18: Thriving Sexually with Illness or Disability............................................245
Part IV: Having A Healthy Sex Life............................257
Chapter 19: What You Can Catch and How to Prevent It..........................................259
Chapter 20:Erectile Dysfunction and Other Male Sexual Problems........................279
Chapter 21:Low Libido and Other Female Sexual Problems....................................299
Chapter 22: Avoiding Sexual Relationship Pitfalls.....................................................313
Chapter 23: Sex and the Law.........................................................................................321
Chapter 24: Teaching Your Children about Sex and Keeping Them Safe................333
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