Serenade for a Small Family

256 Pages·2014·1.883 MB·English

by  Laguna, Ingrid

As a percussionist, singer and songwriter, Ingrid Laguna
has toured Europe, Asia and Australia, recorded several
albums, and run percussion and songwriting workshops.
With performance group Ruby Fruit Jungle, she supported
Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, playing at
Australia’s biggest entertainment venues. In the Australian
film industry, Ingrid worked as a crew member on
numerous television commercials, a telemovie and a short
film. She has held senior positions in arts administration.
While in Central Australia, she directed the Northern
Territory Youth Film Festival and was integral to the
Kunka Career Conference for Aboriginal Women, the
Indigenous Music Awards, and music programs for
Aboriginal youths. She is currently studying media and
communications at Swinburne University in Melbourne.
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nade
Sere
for a
Small Family
I N G R I D L A G U N A
First published in 2010
Copyright © Ingrid Laguna 2010
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior
permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968
(the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever
is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational
purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has
given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
Allen & Unwin
83 Alexander Street
Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Email: [email protected]
Web: www.allenandunwin.com
Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available
from the National Library of Australia
www.librariesaustralia.nla.gov.au
ISBN 978 1 74237 245 7
Illustration on page 227 and chapter detail by Madeleine Meyer
Text design by Lisa White
Set in 12/18 pt Bembo by Bookhouse, Sydney
Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
The paper in this book is FSC certified.
FSC promotes environmentally responsible,
socially beneficial and economically viable
management of the world’s forests.
These are my memories.
Some names have been changed to protect the
privacy of others.
‘We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise . . .’
Emily Dickinson, 1830–1886
Part One
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1
Mum, Benny and I were having dinner on yet another hot
December night in Alice Springs when I felt a tightening
squeeze around my abdomen and lower back, way too
early in my pregnancy. My fork clinked as I half dropped
it onto my plate.
‘I think I’ll go and sit on the couch for a minute.’
Mum and Benny turned to me, and the candle flickered.
I bit the corner of my lip until it stung.
‘What’s happening, Inky?’ asked Benny. ‘You okay?’
The tightening was starting again. ‘Umm . . . n ot sure . . .
actually I think I’m going to call the hospital.’
Two rings and a woman answered. ‘It’s probably nothing,’
she said. ‘But best to come in and get it checked out.’
3
I N G R I D L A G U N A
While Benny drove, I lay along the back seat with my
knees up and my hands splayed over my tightly pregnant
belly. He was beside me when the obstetrician spoke: ‘I’m
sorry . . . you’re two centimetres dilated.’
Ben and I had been through hell to get me pregnant.
I wailed long and loud from deep deep down, my eyes
squeezed shut. Not this, not this.
‘Shhhh, Inky . . . Shhhh!’ Ben leant over me and turned
my face towards his. ‘Inky . . . Inky!’ His tone was firm.
‘There’s still a chance but you have to stay calm . . .’
I was given pills to delay labour, and I didn’t give birth
that night. Contractions were further apart for a while, but
by morning they were close together again.
‘Will the babies be alive when they are born?’ I asked
the midwife.
She looked into my eyes and for a couple of beats said
nothing. ‘They will probably gasp for air and then they will
stop breathing.’ They will stop breathing because they are coming
out too soon, I thought, filled with panic. If they stayed in,
they would not stop breathing. This is my fault.
A social worker was sent in to talk to us. ‘Will we see
the babies?’ I asked.
‘It’s up to you,’ she said. ‘Some people like to hold their
babies and others don’t.’ I tried to picture them, but I didn’t
know what they would look like. I should want to hold them
but I don’t know.
4