Rethinking Misogyny: Men's Perceptions of Female Power in Dating Relationships

181 Pages·2015·0.92 MB·English

by  Anna

Rethinking Misogyny
sexualities in society
series editor: helen hester, Middlesex University, Uk
sexualities in society offers a dedicated and much-needed space for the very best
in interdisciplinary research on sex, sexualities, and twenty-first century society. Its
contemporary focus, methodological inclusivity, and international scope will provide a
distinctive vantage point in terms of surveying the social organization of sexuality. It
critically addresses numerous aspects of sex and sexuality, from media representations, to
embodied sexual practices, to the sometimes controversial issues surrounding consent,
sexual fantasy, and identity politics. It represents a critically rigorous, theoretically
informed, and genuinely interdisciplinary attempt to interrogate a complex nexus of
ideas regarding the ways in which sexualities inform, and are informed by, the broader
sociopolitical contexts in which they emerge.
Rethinking Misogyny
Men’s Perceptions of Female Power
in Dating Relationships
DR AnnA ARRowsMith
© Dr Anna Arrowsmith 2015
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or
otherwise without the prior permission of the publisher.
Dr Anna Arrowsmith has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988,
to be identified as the author of this work.
Published by
Ashgate Publishing Limited Ashgate Publishing Company
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British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
The Library of Congress has cataloged the printed edition as follows:
Arrowsmith, Anna.
Rethinking misogyny : men’s perceptions of female power in dating relationships / by Anna
Arrowsmith.
pages cm. -- (Sexualities in society)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-4724-6351-7 (hardback) -- ISBN 978-1-4724-6352-4 (ebook) -- ISBN 978-1-4724-
6353-1 (epub) 1. Men--Identity. 2. Masculinity. 3. Dating (Social customs)--Psychological
aspects. 4. Man-woman relationships--Psychological aspects. 5. Sex role. I. Title.
HQ1090.A7395 2016
155.3'323--dc23
2015016064
ISBN 9781472463517 (hbk)
ISBN 9781472463524 (ebk – PDF)
ISBN 9781472463531 (ebk – ePUB)
Printed in the United kingdom by henry Ling Limited,
at the Dorset Press, Dorchester, Dt1 1hD
Contents
Glossary vii
Acknowledgements xi
Introduction 1
A Note on my Methodology 7
Introducing Pickup Artistry 15
Conclusion 31
1 Men’s Thoughts about Themselves and Other Men 33
Homosociality in this Book 33
Body Image 52
Conclusion 62
2 Men’s Thoughts about Women 69
Dating Relations 69
Female Power 75
Men’s Responses to Female Physical Attractiveness 77
Concerns about Women 90
Conclusion 104
3 Men’s Thoughts on Dating 111
Making the First Move 111
Difficulties in the Dating Scene 114
Portrayals of Dating in the Media 117
Monogamy 120
Power Between Genders 123
Conclusion 135
Rethinking Misogyny
Conclusions 139
Introduction 139
Masculinity Theories 145
On-going Gender Studies 150
Works Cited 155
Index 163
vi
Glossary
Confluent Love
Part of Anthony Gidden’s (1991/2) theory of dating relations where an idealised
relationship is imagined where a couple focuses on equality of emotional and
sexual exchange to be achieved through mutual exposure.
Constructed Certitude
Ulrich Beck’s (1997) term used to describe the tendency of some to cherry-
pick historic data to provide ways of understanding the world. The concept of
certainty is used less stringently than in the age of modernity and is ‘justified’
rather than attained. Such data is useful in order to close down the need for
questioning at a time of confusion of meaning and truth (postmodernity) in
order to provide security, which leads paradoxically both to compulsions to act
and to complacency.
Hegemonic Masculinity Theory
R.W. Connell’s (1987) highly influential theory of masculinity that understands
all men to aspire to being competitive, aggressive, stoic, thrill seeking, and tough.
In reality, few men attain this ideal and therefore a hierarchy of men
exist in
part dependent on a man’s race, class, and sexuality. Although she does not see
all men as equally powerful like the theory of patriarchy does, she does still
maintain that all men are thought to their share of the ‘patriarchal dividend’
which places them above all women.
The Have/Hold Discourse
Another of the three dating discourses outlined by Wendy Hollway (1984)
this time regarding the assumption that women largely eschew casual sex in
preference for long term, emotionally invested relationships.
RethinkinG MisoGyny
Homosociality
Originally a term coined by John Gagnon and William Simon (1973) to refer to
non-sexual relationships between people of the same sex being key for one’s
self valuation, the term has been appropriated by gender theorists to largely
refer to the means and practices men use to prioritise their male bonds over
heterosocial ones, that is, ones between men and women, especially with
reference to how this is detrimental to women’s development.
Inclusive Masculinity Theory
Eric Anderson’s (2009) theory of inclusive masculinity is based on research
undertaken from the early 1990s to date which showed that young men’s
relationships were not accurately described by a hegemonic masculine framework
that sees a traditional masculine stereotype (competitive, aggressive, stoic, thrill-
seeking and tough) as preferential. They were more likely to be inclusive of
social groups such as gay men and of women in their social realms and often
supported ideals of social equality. Overall, the theory argues men are split
between orthodox (as with hegemonic masculinity theory) and inclusive types
of masculine performance at this time and that we live in a time of transition
of masculine performances by men.
Individualism
Ulrich Beck’s (1997) theory understands that we must now build our own life-
trajectories since we have been dis-embedded from industrial-societal ways of
life that once defined our roles clearly. The minutiae of life now forms part of
our identities from which we must now choose in the absence of tradition and
rules. An individual is now the legislator and the judge of their own life and the
struggle to be free has now conformed to a general imperative. In dating, this
leads to a tendency to seek person-related stability; we pin our hopes on the
other person to provide and support our lives’ meaning because other reference
points have gone.
The Invented Historic Male
My term for the concept used within gender studies that how the sexes behaved
historically changes dependent on the current understanding of how gender
works. When historical men are described it is more accurate to understand
viii
GlossaRy
such descriptions as projections back in time from the current day (descriptions
that may well focus on perceived positives that are now lost) rather than a true
reflection of how men historically behaved.
Project of the Self/the Life as a Project
Anthony Gidden’s (1991) idea that individualism has encouraged us to think of
our lives as projects that need managing if the best outcome is to be achieved.
Such management involves much reflexive questioning about what one’s desires
and needs and has a focus on one’s ability to choose and to change one’s life.
Male Sexual Drive Discourse
One of three cultural discourses defined by Wendy Hollway (1984) that outline
the way we understand dating behaviour. This discourse describes the common
assumption that men are mainly focused on attaining sexual intercourse with
as many women as possible, and to wish to remain ‘free’ of emotional ties
with them.
Pickup Artistry (PUA)
A movement of men based on the neuro-linguistic teachings of Ross Jeffries in
the 1980s (later developed by both Neil Strauss and Mystery in 1990s), where
men attend classes and join online forums in order to learn tricks to increase
their confidence in the presence of women they are attracted to.
The Pure Relationship
Part of Anthony Gidden’s (1991/2) theory of dating relations which imagines
an idealised relationship that exists solely for whatever rewards are possible
to gain from a specific pairing; the voluntary nature of such relationships
is highlighted, as is the relationship’s autonomy from the rest of societal
influences. A relationship is imagined to be like a business partnership that must
be mutually beneficial in order to make sense.
ix