Table Of ContentRead My Lips
Read My Lips
A Complete Guide to
the Vagina and Vulva
Debby Herbenick, PhD
and
Vanessa Schick, PhD
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD PUBLISHERS, INC.
Lanham • Boulder • New York • Toronto • Plymouth, UK
Published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
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Copyright © 2011 by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical
means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher,
except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available Library of Congress Cataloging-in-
Publication Data Herbenick, Debby.
Read my lips : a complete guide to the vagina and vulva / Debby Herbenick and Vanessa Schick.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-4422-0800-1 (pbk.) — ISBN 978-1-4422-0802-5 (electronic) 1. Vulva—Popular works. 2.
Vagina—Popular works. 3. Women— Health and hygiene—Popular works. I. Schick, Vanessa, 1982– II.
Title.
RG268.H47 2011
612.6'28—dc23
2011019793
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard
for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Printed in the United States of America
This book is dedicated to the many men and women whose stories
have inspired us to think about vulvas and vaginas in complex and
intricate ways.
We hope that Read My Lips will do the same for some of you.
Acknowledgments
We would like to thank our editor, Suzanne Staszak-Silva, for helping to turn our
quirky book filled with crafts and puns into a reality. Thank you for your
patience and your confidence in our work. We are enormously grateful to our
fantastic agent, Kate Lee, whose advice and encouragement were instrumental.
Of course, no matter how many words we used, a description of a vulva can
never measure up to a picture of one. Thank you to everyone who filled this
book with images: Christopher M. Brown, Catherine Johnson-Roehr, Rachel
Liebert, Melissa Nannen, and Maleese N. Schick.
We feel fortunate to be surrounded by colleagues who inspire us daily. In
particular, we would like to thank Michael Reece, Brian Dodge, and everyone at
the Center for Sexual Health Promotion for their enthusiasm, their willingness to
listen to and give feedback on our ideas, and the way they embrace our vulva
puppets and other unique office decor. We would like to thank David Lohrmann
and Mohammad Torabi, who have established an academic work environment in
which our research and creative interests are able to thrive. We are also
appreciative of the support we have received from Jenny Bass, Dennis
Fortenberry, Carol McCord, Heather Rupp, Stephanie Sanders, and Shawn
Wilson, among others. We would be remiss not to thank Chelsea Heaven for her
careful, conscientious work.
This book would not have been possible without the many women and men
who have inspired us at different points in our personal and professional
development. Although not limited to the following, we like to acknowledge the
work and vision of (in alphabetical order) Joani Blank, Virginia Braun, Judy
Chicago, Betty Dodson, Eve Ensler, Nick and Sayaka Karras, Dorrie Lane,
Rachel Liebert, Carol Queen, Wrenna Robertson, Carlin Ross, Annie Sprinkle,
Elizabeth Stewart, Leonore Tiefer, and Chris Veasley.
We would like to express our heartfelt gratitude to everyone who took the
time to share personal stories about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences
with vulvas and vaginas, whether for Read My Lips or for the various research
projects we have conducted over the years.
Vanessa would like to thank everyone who has supported or inspired her
along this spectacular journey. First, she would like to thank her phenomenal co-
author, Debby Herbenick, who made this possible. There is only enough light for
everyone to share if you open your door and let others in. She is forever grateful
for Debby’s encouragement, guidance, humor, and perpetual kindness. She
would also like to thank her graduate advisor, Alyssa Zucker, who encouraged
her to follow her passion; Laina Bay-Cheng, who continuously challenged her to
think about things in new and complex ways; and Maria-Cecilia Zea, who urged
her to see the potential in herself. On a personal note, Vanessa would like to
thank her friends and family for all of their support, love, and friendship
throughout this process. She is particularly grateful to the following: Ashley,
Bindi, Geneva, Heather, Jenn, Kelly, and Marcela for their constant friendship,
encouragement, and quick feedback on the cover. Vanessa would also like to
thank Sarah, for being the amazing person she is both professionally and
personally. She makes quirky seem normal. Russell/Thaddeus, for always being
patient, proud, and the biggest bighead she has ever known. M. T. McGillicutty,
for (sometimes) holding it during long writing sessions and cuddling even when
she didn’t want to. Her many brothers and sisters, who inspire her in ways they
can only imagine. Her aunt Bobbie, who always says the right thing at the right
moment. Her belated grandmother and step-mother, for always being outspoken
and strong. Her father, for encouraging her to work hard at what she believed in.
Her mother, for believing in her and inspiring Vanessa to make her journey her
own.
Debby would like to thank the following individuals for their particular
support of her vulva and vagina outreach: Vanessa Schick, for bringing her
talent, brilliance, and spunk to Indiana University, and for being an amazing co-
author on this book; Stephanie Sanders, for being the first mentor to support her
interest in vulvovaginal research; June Reinisch, for pointing her in the direction
of positive vulva references in historical texts and for her enthusiastic
mentorship; the late Joe Miller, for his support of her initial research about
attitudes toward women’s genitals; Tyra Banks, for inviting Debby to share her
vulva puppet and vulvovaginal information with her television audience; Kareen
Gunning, for her commitment to educating the masses about women’s health and
sexual health; Patty Brisben, for her passionate support of research and
education related to women’s sexual health; Dan Savage, for enduring assorted
vulva-related conversations and puppetry; and Annie, Debbie, Joyce, Mary, and
Paulene, for their steadfast support, dependability, and good natures. In addition,
Debby would like to express her enormous gratitude to her mother and sister for
their consistent support during the past decade-plus of her vagina/vulva outreach
journey. She would like to acknowledge the memory of her maternal
grandmother who encouraged her in the study of women’s sexual health and
vulvovaginal perceptions, and her father who was one of her biggest sources of
support in all areas of life. She is grateful to Jezebel, who stayed up late with her
while writing, to those who have helped her to love her vulva and vagina
(including the dozens of women, such as Jada, Sarah, and Jessica, with whom
she worked on The Vagina Monologues), and her gynecologist, who has helped
her to care for it. Finally, Debby would like to thank Ariane, Brooke, Brandon,
Rachel, Kate, Tom, Ben, Susie, Erica, Roberta, and Jimmy, all of whom have
shown their support by listening to vulva/vagina stories, helping to select cover
designs, or making space for her to write this book. No one, however, has
listened to as many vulva stories or made as much space for this work (or for
vulva craft projects) as James, for whom she is eternally grateful.
With much vulva love to you all,
Debby & Vanessa
Introduction
It was a warm November evening as the sun set in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The
ocean crashed in the background as a light breeze swept through the air. If this
sounds like the makings of a magical night, it was indeed: this is the night that
we (Debby and Vanessa) first met. But this isn’t a love story—at least, not the
kind you might expect.
We were both in San Juan, Puerto Rico, attending the annual meeting of the
Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. Although the field of sexuality
researchers is small, the number of people who study social and cultural issues
related to vaginas and vulvas is even smaller and was almost non-existent
several years ago. Therefore, we assumed that like other conferences, we would
probably be the only vulva researchers there. We were wrong. We had been at
the conference for just minutes when a colleague who was familiar with both of
our work introduced us. It took just one phrase to bond us instantaneously, and it
went something like this: “You two should meet— you both study vaginas.”
So yes, this is a love story about vulvas and vaginas.
Once we met, it wasn’t long before we realized how much we had in
common: we had both conducted our dissertation research on women’s genitals,
and we both have stuffed vulva puppets and books with titles like Cunt and The
V Book lining our office bookshelves. With these mutual interests, it was only a
matter of time—less than a year—before we found a way to work together,
thanks to Vanessa taking a position at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at
Indiana University, where Debby had been working for several years. Shortly
thereafter, the idea for Read My Lips was born, and after much work,
brainstorming over lunches, and 2 a.m. email exchanges, it’s now in your hands.
This book is for anyone who has a vulva, loves someone with a vulva, has
come from a vagina, or is just plain curious about these parts. Through our
research and education efforts, we try to better understand the diverse ways in
which women’s genitals are talked about (or not), and we try to help women and
men learn about this important part of the female body in terms of health, sex,
