Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore

298 Pages·2017·5.23 MB·English

by  Kent Hoffman

ebook
THE GUILFORD PRESS
RAISING A SECURE CHILD
Also Available
For Professionals
The Circle of Security Intervention:
Enhancing Attachment in Early Parent–Child Relationships
Bert Powell, Glen Cooper, Kent Hoffman, and Bob Marvin
Visit the authors’ website, www.circleofsecurity.com,
for more information.
RAISING
A SECURE
CHILD
How Circle of Security Parenting
Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s
Attachment, Emotional Resilience,
and Freedom to Explore
Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper,
and Bert Powell,
with Christine M. Benton
Foreword by Daniel J. Siegel
THE GUILFORD PRESS
NEW YORK LONDON
Copyright © 2017 The Guilford Press
A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc.
370 Seventh Avenue, Suite 1200, New York, NY 10001
www.guilford.com
All rights reserved
The information in this volume is not intended as a substitute for
consultation with healthcare professionals. Each individual’s health
concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional.
Except as indicated, no part of this book may be reproduced, translated,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise,
without written permission from the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Last digit is print number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the
publisher.
ISBN 978-1-4625-2763-2 (paper) ISBN 978-1-4625-2813-4 (hard)
The drawings on pages 63, 68, 86, 164, 165, and 169 and the passages on
pages 65, 127, 143–144, 145, 176–178, 183–186, 192–193, and 199–200 are
copyright © 2016 Glen Cooper, Kent Hoffman, and Bert Powell, Circle of
Security International.
With respect and gratitude to Jude Cassidy, PhD—
mentor, colleague, and friend

CONTENTS

Foreword ix

Acknowledgments xii

Authors’ Note xv

Introduction 1
Part I
ALL AROUND THE CIRCLE
Understanding Attachment and the Importance of Security
1
Attachment: Why It Matters 11
2
Security: Befriending Imperfection 35
3
A Map for Attachment: The Circle of Security 58
4
Being the Hands on the Circle 83
5
Shark Music: How Our Childhood Echoes 115
in Our Parenting
6
Behavior as Communication: Cues and Miscues 146
vii
viii Contents
Part II
CREATING AND MAINTAINING THE CIRCLE
How to Be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind—
and Good Enough
7
Shark Bones: Exploring Our Core Sensitivities 181
8
Testing New Waters: Choosing Security 210
9
Staying Afl oat: Choosing Security Over and Over 239
as Your Child Grows
Resources 265
Index 270
About the Authors 279
Purchasers of this book can download and print enlarged
versions of the Shark Music Checklist and Your Core Sensitivity
in Adult  Relationships at wwwwwwwww...ggguuuiiilllfffooorrrddd...cccooommm///hhhoooffffffmmmaaannn222---fffooorrrmmmsss ffoorr ppeerrssoonnaall
use or use with individual clients (see copyright page for details).