Queenbees and wannabees: the struggle for power through bullying in adolescent girls

214 Pages·2016·1.5 MB·English

Retrospective Theses and Dissertations
2008
Queenbees and wannabees: the struggle for power
through bullying in adolescent girls
DeAnn Valorie Miller
Iowa State University
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Queenbees and wannabees: The struggle for power through bullying in
adolescent girls

by

DeAnn Valorie Miller

A dissertation submitted to the graduate faculty
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of
DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY

Major: Family and Consumer Sciences Education

Program of Study Committee:
Yvonne Gentzler, Major Professor
Francine H. Hultgren
Mary Gregoire
Beverly Kruempel
Robert Martin

Iowa State University
Ames, Iowa
2008

Copyright © DeAnn Valorie Miller, 2008. All rights reserved.
UMI Number: 3307126
Copyright 2008 by
Miller, DeAnn Valorie
All rights reserved.
UMI Microform3307126
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ii

DEDICATION
To my children, Sydney and Sumner
who teach me everyday what it means to
“bee” a human, a mother, and a life-long teacher.
iii
TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE 1: TURNING TOWARD THE PHENOMENON OF BULLYING...……..1
Being Called to the Middle.......................................................................................................1
Flying Beneath the Radar......................................................................................................4
Bullying in the Middle..........................................................................................................5
Adolescence, Royal Jelly, and Recognition..........................................................................8
The Journey to the Middle......................................................................................................13
Teacher in the Middle.........................................................................................................15
Middle School Girls and Teaching to the Soul...................................................................17
Bees and the Journey..........................................................................................................19
Queenbees and Wannabees.....................................................................................................22
Safety and Swarming..........................................................................................................23
The Sting of Bees and Bullies.............................................................................................24
Belonging of Bees and Bullies............................................................................................26
Flying with Broken Wings..................................................................................................29
Different, Yet the Same......................................................................................................32
Hermeneutic Phenomenology.................................................................................................33
Meaning Beyond a Number................................................................................................34
Layers of Meaning..............................................................................................................35
Tending the Hive, Exploring the Phenomenon...................................................................37

CHAPTER TWO: THE QUEEN OF MEAN: EXPLORING THE PHENOMENON..........39
“Bee”—ing—In the Middle....................................................................................................39
The Queen–Bee Phenomenon.............................................................................................42
The Queen–Bee and “She’s all That”.................................................................................45
The Secret Lives of Bullies and Bees.................................................................................49
Queenbee Communication......................................................................................................51
The Bystanders....................................................................................................................53
Float Like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee..............................................................................54
Media, Books, and Fairy Tales...........................................................................................56
Queenbees and Cyberbullying................................................................................................57
The Sting: A Public Health Threat......................................................................................58
Calming the Swarm.............................................................................................................60
From Slam Books to Modern Cyberbullying......................................................................61
Heidegger and Technology.................................................................................................63
“Bee”—ing Stung: A Right of Passage?................................................................................64
Educating Others.................................................................................................................66
Unseen Scars.......................................................................................................................67
“Bee”—ing The Best that You can Bee?................................................................................68
To Bee or not to Bee...........................................................................................................69
Capturing the Essence of “Bee”—ing.................................................................................72
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CHAPTER THREE: PHILOSOPHICAL GROUNDING AND METHODOLOGY............74
Being Called to Human Science Research..............................................................................74
“Bee”—ing Your Best........................................................................................................75
The Honeycomb, The Foundation......................................................................................77
Of Politics and Philosophy......................................................................................................79
Heidegger’s Childhood.......................................................................................................81
Heidegger and Politics........................................................................................................82
Nazism—Touching My Life...............................................................................................85
Harvesting the Honey of Heidegger and Gadamer.................................................................86
Cura....................................................................................................................................87
To the Things Themselves..................................................................................................89
Gadamer’s Hermeneutics....................................................................................................91
Hermeneutic Phenomenological Methodology.......................................................................95
Robbing the Bees................................................................................................................96
Turning to a phenomenon which seriously interests us and commits us to the world...97
Investigating experience as we live it rather than as we conceptualize it.......................97
Reflecting upon the essential themes which characterize the phenomenon.................100
Describing the phenomenon through the art of writing and rewriting..........................101
Maintaining a strong and oriented pedagogical relation to the phenomenon...............102
Balancing the research context ....................................................................................104
Human science is a practical science............................................................................105
Extracting the Honey/Engaging in Conversation.............................................................105

CHAPTER FOUR: EXTRACTING THE BITTERSWEET HONEY: FROM WORDS TO
THEMES ..............................................................................................................................107
“Bee”—ing Touched and Touching Lives............................................................................107
The Source of Honey . . . The Participants.......................................................................109
Morgan..............................................................................................................................109
Bethany.............................................................................................................................110
Liza...................................................................................................................................110
Rhonda..............................................................................................................................111
Andrea...............................................................................................................................111
Harvesting the Power of Honey........................................................................................112
The Sting and Longing to “Bee”—long................................................................................115
Longing to “Bee”—long . . . Cliques and Adolescent Chicks........................................116
Teachers and Recognizing Longing to “Bee”—long........................................................118
Longing to “Bee”—long and the Power of the Queenbee................................................122
“Bee”—ing Invisible, An Outsider.......................................................................................124
“Bee”—ing an Invisible Rider..........................................................................................126
“Bee”—ing an Invisible “Nothing”..................................................................................128
“Bee”—ing an Invisible Outcast.......................................................................................130
“Bee”—ing Invisible, and New Stuff...............................................................................132
“Bee”—ing Different............................................................................................................133
“Bee”—ing Cyber-bullied....................................................................................................135
“Bee”—ing a Protective Support..........................................................................................139
“Bee”—ing a Parent..........................................................................................................139
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“Bee”—ing a Teacher.......................................................................................................141
“Bee”—ing a Friend, or Frienimie....................................................................................143
Girls, “Bee”—ing Powerful..................................................................................................145
The Buzz of Power............................................................................................................145
Power, Taking it Back.......................................................................................................147
The Clique: An Unspoken Buzz of Code Language and Code Silence................................149
“Bee”—ing Worthy, In the Clique....................................................................................152
The Sting of the Drone......................................................................................................154
“Bee”—ing Ignored..........................................................................................................156
Slowly, Healing Bullying......................................................................................................157

CHAPTER FIVE: THE HIVE: IN RETROSPECT..............................................................161
Examining the Bee and the Honey........................................................................................161
“Bee”—ing There: A Journey of Care, in Uncharted Waters..........................................163
The Flavor of the Harvested Honey..................................................................................164
“Bee”-ing and Cura..........................................................................................................165
Cura and Pedagogy...........................................................................................................167
Pedagogy: Being and Cura..............................................................................................168
“Bee”—ing Authentic....................................................................................................1700
"Bee”—ing Anxious........................................................................................................173
“Bee”—ing There . . . Making a Difference.....................................................................175
Recommendations for “Bee”—ing and Care in Pedagogy...............................................175
Longing.............................................................................................................................177
Being Invisible and Being an Outsider.............................................................................178
Differences........................................................................................................................178
Being cyber-bullied...........................................................................................................179
“Bee”—ing Transformed......................................................................................................180
Honey and Recommendations for Future Teachers..........................................................181
Bullying and Parents.........................................................................................................182
Future Research....................................................................................................................183
A Circle of Understanding................................................................................................184

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS………………………………………………………………...186

APPENDIX A………………………………………………………………………………188
APPENDIX B………………………………………………………………………………189
APPENDIX C……………………………………………………………………………… 192
APPENDIX D ………………………………………………………………………………194

REFERENCES.....................................................................................................................195
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ABSTRACT
In this hermeneutic phenomenological study, I explore the lived experience of 5
middle school girls in grades 5-9, who have experienced bullying. My question for this study
asks, “What is the lived experience of adolescent girls who have experienced female
bullying?” The metaphor of queenbees and wannabees has helped me understand adolescent
ways of being in the world as they have been bullied. In addition, understanding the lived
experience of female bullying is developed through the exploration of the phenomenological
life-world themes of body, time, space, and relationality. The theme of body is examined
through physical being, emotional being, and intellectual being. Lived time is explored as
these females experience bullying and their perception of bullying. The theme of space
surfaces from where and how they have been bullied, to the spaces in which they feel
threatened or safe. The life-world of relationality is explicated through the peers and adults
who surround these middle school girls. The in–depth conversations with the researcher
focused on the continuing, daily experiences of these female adolescents.
Themes that emerged from the text of the conversations disclose deeper meanings of
what it means to be bullied: the deep desire to belong to a group; the feeling of being
invisible, which includes the longing to have “new stuff;” the exclusion that accompanies
being different; the helplessness of being cyber-bullied; the mighty sting of the queenbee,
and the silent code language. These adolescents are, indeed, swimming in uncharted waters. I
admire these brave adolescents for sharing their stories with me.
And as busy as teachers may be, they need to recognize female bullying and the many
forms of it hidden under the radar. Educators should encourage students to tell them when
they have been bullied, or when they have been a witness to a bullying incident. Bullying
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occurs primarily at schools: the hallways, the classrooms, the playground, and while riding
the bus. It is left to the legal system to answer the questions that arise from cyber-bullying
that is meted out by the bully from home. Educators need to take action regarding the bully;
middle school girls have the right to feel safe at school. Without the feeling of safety it will
be difficult for adolescent females to reach their full potential. This study has created new
pedagogical possibilities for viewing the experience of female bullying including
implications for teacher in–service and school bullying policies.
1
CHAPTER ONE:
TURNING TOWARD THE PHENOMENON OF BULLYING
Being Called to the Middle
All I ever asked for was some understanding,
All I ever got as an answer
Was a world too demanding.
All I ever needed was some time,
All I ever received
Was losing everything that was mine.
All I ever prayed for were some clues,
All I ever felt in return were the blues.
All I ever wanted was some love,
All I ever received was a selfish shove.
All I ever searched for was some hope,
All I ever found was a joke.
All I ever needed was to be free,
All I ever had were chains enslaving me.
All I ever got as an answer
Was a world too demanding.
(Esendemir, 2001, p. 21)
The poem above provides us with a view into the life of one adolescent girl who has
been bullied; her emotions are felt by many middle school girls, especially the victims of
bullying. As I read the poem I find myself wanting to engage in a reflective conversation
with her that might go like this: