Table Of ContentNow I don’t want to yak on about
myself, but I have been told that telling
your story helps inspire other people to
overcome the challenges that you have
faced. <3
Hi I’m Antony Sammeroff, host of the Be Yourself and Love It Podcast
(subscribe on iTunes or Android) and author of 20 incomplete books, all of
which are scheduled to come out sometime over the next decade (stay
tuned.)
Jokes aside, I’m very happy with how my writing is progressing these days
– I must have written a million words in 2017 – but it wasn’t always so.
For the entirety of my 20s procrastination racked my self-confidence and
undermined my self-esteem. All the people I knew who were productive
had ALWAYS been like that so there was not much they could do to help or
advise me. What’s more – everyone I knew who was a chronic
procrastinator had always been like that too!...
Was it just luck of the draw?
Did we have no choice but to accept our fate?
My procrastination didn’t just have me chronically depressed at the worst
of times, it also cost me big opportunities!
Here are just a few of the things I cringe to remember:
- In my early teens I went to audition for a TV program and got a call back
with very few other candidates. They gave me a script to learn but I
procrastinated on learning the lines for so long that I was not confident in
the audition and the part went to someone else, even though I knew that I
could have done a great job.
- When I was 18 I took a Demo CD to a club where they played the sort of
dark electronic music that I was really into in my teens. I asked one of the
DJs to put on one of my songs, and while it was playing the other one
asked him what it was. When he told her that it was my demo she was so
impressed that she said she could get me a slot at a musical festival.
Despite the excitement I felt in that moment, I let myself down by putting
off finishing my demo and never got to play my electronic stuff live.
- I started college at 22 and had to study for my four-year honours degree
over five years. Although I gave everything to my assignments and my
marks were excellent, I often could not discipline myself to get them in on
time! I was on the road to getting a first-class degree but missed by one or
two marks partly because of this problem.
- When I was 24 I was suffering from back pain and went to a chiropractor.
He pointed out that my chest muscles were too short and my hamstrings
exceptionally tight. He corrected my spine and gave me some exercises to
fix the problem. I did them half-heartedly until the pain went away and
then stopped. As a consequence, I am only now correcting my posture
which would have been fixed years ago if I had persevered.
- By the time I was 28 I had slightly managed to improve my output but
not in a disciplined way. I got a coach to help me with my own coaching
business. He taught me how to create and sell an online program. I was all
set to host a webinar to pre-sell the course, but right as I was reaching the
finish line my procrastination kicked in. My coach and I parted ways and it
took two years before I finally finished my online course - Surviving to
Thriving.
Even though these challenges were seriously depressing, I never lost hope.
I always believed that one day I would find the right solution to my
procrastination problem, but where? I kept on trying things and trying
things. I read books, most of which were completely useless, and watched
YouTube videos which were not much better. No matter where I looked I
could not find someone who had actually gone from being a reluctant
procrastinator to a productivity machine! Only people philosophising
about how to mitigate the effects of procrastination slightly. No one
seemed to have a profound solution. I saw a variety of therapists over the
years and they helped me offload some of my frustration, but after a while
I got tired of telling the same story about my feelings of futility over and
over again. I had understanding. What I needed was practical help.
Well, no spoilers, but eventually I found a method that worked for me.
Nowadays I wake up early.
I meditate, do some yoga stretches and then some breathing exercises to
get energised for the day.
I floss my teeth and make a healthy smoothie – a couple things I could
never manage to do regularly before.
I do my first writing session next, then practise the piano for a half hour or
so, then do some reading.
After lunch I will usually do at least one more writing session, whenever it
suits me.
On Monday and Thursday nights I do a Facebook live stream for 10
minutes on a self-help topic of my choosing. Many have reached tens of
thousands of hits. (You can find the previous live feeds on my YouTube.)
On Wednesdays I put out the Be Yourself and L ove I t P odcast.
Thursday, the Scottish Liberty Podcast.
On Sundays I run two personal development events in person.
Before bed, I journal for 15 minutes about what’s on my mind and how
I’ve been feeling.
I also find time to go to the gym, write theatre reviews, see the lady, hang
out with my buddies, and most importantly I feel like every day is a
success!
Did I mention I also work? During the week I run events, coach others and
offer counselling services, in person and internationally over Skype.
How did I do it?
Little Keys Open Huge Doors
I found the right method and applied it consistently until I was used to it.
That might sound blindingly obvious but at least I’m not selling any snake-
oil. I went out and weeded my garden, then planted seeds until it was full
of flowers. It took a little persistence – and persistence is a very scary
word for procrastinators. Often, we feel like we can’t trust our moods for
tomorrow so how can we commit to being persistent today? Half the time
we are scared to even start an exciting new project in case it ends up being
another unfinished responsibility hanging over our head. Just another
discarded possibility on the heap of unmet dreams. The thing is, I found a
way of making it easier and easier to be persistent.
You may be wondering how long this “quick fix” took.
After 30 years of experimenting with dead-ends, unable to change my
work ethic, I was seeing tangible results from this method in a few weeks.
In less than a year I had transformed my life completely. I had routines.
This book will help you design a three-month course of action for yourself
and make it as easy as possible to apply so that you can do as I have done.
I have decided on that amount of time because it is a realistic period to see
significant changes in your life and is relatively unscary. Three months is
usually the minimum amount of time I work with a private client, and it is
enough time for you to judge whether my method is right for you or not. If
you are hungry for more you will naturally continue to apply the method
for another three months, and then long after those three months are done!
This book teaches the genuine method that I used to overcome
procrastination and change my life, one step at a time. I hold nothing back.
There is no woo-woo or funny stuff. It’s a pragmatic, sensible approach.
It’s simple and effective. All you need to do is follow in my footsteps and
get results. Then write me a little email detailing your experiences. (Don’t
put it off too long.)
We will start off with addressing a few changes you might have to make to
your mindset if you really want this method to work for you.
Come with me.
The Five-Headed Dragon Between You and Your Goals.
(and how to slay it)
All or Nothing Thinking.
‘It’s all or nothing – and nothing’s all I ever get.’
- Meatloaf and Jim Steinman
When you’re stuck in a rut it’s easy to imagine
that everything must change at once or else it’s
pointless. The truth is that victory is not actually
achieved by getting things done – but by making
little changes in the way you operate day to day
that add up over time.
Think of changing the pieces of hardware in your desktop computer one by
one until it’s a brand-new machine internally. The weakest links may slow
it down in the short term, but ultimately when the transformation is
complete it will effortlessly be able to do things that it can’t do now. You
can continue to upgrade the machine indefinitely as new advances become
available – and you will soon get pretty handy with a screwdriver too!
The problem right now may be that: You are Expecting a Miracle!
You want to have a healing experience.
Maybe you will go to a motivational seminar one weekend. You will feel
great and get really juiced up hanging around all of these other people who
understand you and are going through similar problems... but nothing deep
can fundamentally change from one workshop – or a therapy session, or
seeing a guru or shaman, or taking a psychedelic – and when your old
patterns reassert themselves you might end up feeling worse than ever!
“Now I’ve swung back down again it’s worse than it was before
– If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor.”
- James (English rock band)
How to Slay this Dragon: Change your goal from getting things done to
getting a little better each day, based on the understanding that simply
getting things done is not the actual goal. Becoming the kind of person
who can get things done is the goal. Once you become that person – the
person you’ve always known you have the potential to be – getting things
done will come naturally to you.
Perfectionism
“I’m a man of simple tastes. I’m always
completely satisfied with the best.”- Oscar Wilde
Many procrastinators place such high standards
on themselves and their work that they
intimidate themselves out of even getting
started. Sometimes the goal that they have set
themselves really is too demanding for their
current skill level, especially if it’s a big project.
No one would go to the gym for the first time and expect to be able to
bench press their own weight, so why would you expect to be able to start
and complete a big ambitious project like write a novel, record a solo
album, launch a product, or climb Everest without first getting the relevant
experience under your belt?
How to Slay this Dragon: No one else will tell you this but the cure to
perfectionism is not lowering your standards. It’s gaining confidence in
your ability to meet them.
We always feel confident operating in a situation that we have command
of. You never feel a lack of confidence walking, but this was not always
the case. You were once a toddler. Right now, you might be a goal-
achievement toddler. Confidence will be gained, but only by experience.
Build your confidence by gaining experience working on smaller, less
ambitious tasks than the ones you are persistently avoiding. If you have
been putting off that great thesis for years start by writing short pieces on
related subjects that are 60-500 words long. Write them as uncritically as
possible ‘just for experience.’ You may be able to use some of your ideas
in your final work once you’re ready to get back to it! If you dream of
having a successful podcast start making little recordings explaining things
you find interesting in five to ten minutes. If you want to run a business
start by getting a job in something like sales and use it as an opportunity to
learn. Find the most successful people in the company and offer to buy
them lunch or a coffee and pick their brains to learn how they achieve their
standards. Most people are so flattered by having their accomplishments
acknowledged that they will gladly tell you everything!
Some people feel like it’s too late and they should have already done all
their training years ago... As though now that they’re older they need to get
straight into the big project if they’re ever going to make it happen for
themselves. That view is pure poison, and if you are taking it to heart you
are basically fating yourself to being in the same position in five or ten, or
even 20 years’ time. Except you’ll be even older then than you are now. I
look back on all the things I thought it was too late for me to do and realise
how good I would have been at them by now if I had just started then –
making learning my priority instead of trying to “punch above my weight.”
IF YOU THINK YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO IT, THE TRUTH IS
YOU DON’T HAVE TIME NOT TO DO IT.
True, you ARE older and wiser, but that means you can learn faster than
when you were younger and naïve. I used to teach adults piano, as well as
children. Most of them came in believing you had to have taken up piano
as a child to ever be truly competent at it. As it turned out they learned
much faster than the kids did, so that idea turned out to be an empty cliché.
It’s never too late to learn. And what’s more, you can’t afford not to learn.
It’s the essential step of becoming competent to accomplish your goals.
