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‘nick luxmoore’s latest book is as smart, sharp and l Practical
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accessible as ever, combining compelling stories with light- u
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touch theoretical insights. invaluable.’
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–Jonathan Wyatt, Senior Lecturer, University of Edinburgh v SuPerviSion
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‘nick makes supervision come alive for the benefit of all who
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will read this engaging book. You can imagine yourself sitting f for
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in the room, feeling, agonising, laughing or crying – touched r
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by the lives of so many young people and their counsellors.’
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–Alistair Ross, Associate Professor of u
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Psychotherapy, University of Oxford S
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What helps counsellors when they get stuck? S
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This book recalls those moments when supervision sessions
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have been crucial to puzzling out the complexities of counselling o
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young people. Nick Luxmoore vividly recounts moments of highs
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and lows, of uncertainties and breakthroughs, and of the unique r
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dilemmas experienced by counsellors and supervisors working W
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with young people. i
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Nick Luxmoore is a counselling supervisor and UKCP registered o
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psychotherapist. He has 40 years’ experience of working with n
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young people and with the professionals who support them, and
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has authored numerous books. e
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Jessica Kingsley Publishers ic
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www.jkp.com nick luxmoore
Cover design: Adam Renvoize JKP
by the same author
Working with Anger and Young People
ISBN 978 1 84310 466 7
eISBN 978 1 84642 538 7
Feeling Like Crap
Young People and the Meaning of Self-Esteem
ISBN 978 1 84310 682 1
eISBN 978 1 84642 819 7
Listening to Young People in School, Youth Work and Counselling
ISBN 978 1 85302 909 7
eISBN 978 1 84642 201 0
Essential Listening Skills for Busy School Staff
What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say
ISBN 978 1 84905 565 9
eISBN 978 1 78450 000 9
School Counsellors Working with Young People and Staff
A Whole-School Approach
ISBN 978 1 84905 460 7
eISBN 978 0 85700 838 1
Young People in Love and in Hate
ISBN 978 1 84905 055 5
eISBN 978 0 85700 202 0
Horny and Hormonal
Young People, Sex and the Anxieties of Sexuality
ISBN 978 1 78592 031 8
eISBN 978 1 78450 278 2
Young People and the Curse of Ordinariness
ISBN 978 1 84905 185 9
eISBN 978 0 85700 407 9
Young People, Death and the Unfairness of Everything
ISBN 978 1 84905 320 4
eISBN 978 0 85700 662 2
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
First published in 2017
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers
73 Collier Street
London N1 9BE, UK
and
400 Market Street, Suite 400
Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright © Nick Luxmoore 2017
Front cover image source: Shutterstock®.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material
form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and
whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication)
without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with
the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of
a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 6–10 Kirby
Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owner’s written permission
to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.
Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work
may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 78592 285 5
eISBN 978 1 78450 589 9
For Sue Douglas
Acknowledgements
A version of Chapter 4 was published by BACP as ‘Containing the
angry client’ in June 2016 BACP Children and Young People journal.
A version of Chapter 6 was published by BACP as ‘On not being
weird’ in June 2015 BACP Children and Young People journal.
A version of Chapter 12 was published by BACP as ‘Anger
management: The myth’ in September 2011 BACP Children and
Young People journal.
A version of Chapter 22 was published by BACP as ‘What’s the point
of fathers?’ in December 2016 BACP Children and Young People
journal.
A version of Chapter 23 was published by BACP as ‘Just to say that
I’ve failed… again!’ in December 2015 BACP Children and Young
People journal.
I’m grateful to Kathy Peto, Debbie Lee, Professor Chris Mowles
and Jane Campbell for reading and commenting on earlier drafts
of this book. Thanks also to my past and present supervisees, to my
first supervisor, Sue Douglas, and to my current supervisor, Jane
Campbell. Big thanks to Sarah Knight who organizes the training.
And special thanks and love to the three people who supervise me
most rigorously: Kathy, Frances and Julia.
Contents
1 Introduction 9
2 First Ever Clients 13
3 Learning to Be Supervised 21
4 Parallel Processes 29
5 Internal Worlds 37
6 Counselling in Schools 43
7 Institutional Anxieties 51
8 Projective Identification 57
9 Asking Difficult Questions 63
10 Dependence and Independence 69
11 Developing Autobiographies 79
12 The Myth of Anger Management 91
13 Working with Anger 99
14 The Waiting List 105
15 Boundaries 111
16 Self-Disclosure 117
17 Making Judgments 127
18 Playfulness 135
19 Sexuality in the Room 141
20 The Durability Test 147
21 Self-Harming 153
22 Making Sense of Fathers 159
23 Failure 167
24 Existential Answers 173
25 Endings 179
References 185
Index 189
