Positive Psychology in Practice: Simple Tools to Pursue Happiness and Live Authentically

181 Pages·2020·16 MB·English

by  Gina Delucca PsyD, Jamie Goldstein PsyD

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY IN PRACTICE

Positive
Psychology
in Practice
SIMPLE TOOLS TO PURSUE HAPPINESS
AND LIVE AUTHENTICALLY
Gina Delucca, PsyD
Jamie Goldstein, PsyD
Copyright © 2020 by Rockridge Press, Emeryville, California
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or
108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written per-
mission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be
addressed to the Permissions Department, Rockridge Press, 6005 Shellmound
Street, Suite 175, Emeryville, CA 94608.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: The Publisher and the author make
no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness
of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties, including
without limitation warranties of fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty
may be created or extended by sales or promotional materials. The advice and
strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every situation. This work
is sold with the understanding that the Publisher is not engaged in rendering
medical, legal, or other professional advice or services. If professional assistance
is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
Neither the Publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.
The fact that an individual, organization, or website is referred to in this work
as a citation and/or potential source of further information does not mean that
the author or the Publisher endorses the information the individual, organization,
or website may provide or recommendations they/it may make. Further, readers
should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared
between when this work was written and when it is read.
For general information on our other products and services or to obtain technical
support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States
at [phone], or outside the United States at [phone].
Rockridge Press publishes its books in a variety of electronic and print formats.
Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books, and
vice versa.
TRADEMARKS: Rockridge Press and the Rockridge Press logo are trademarks or reg-
istered trademarks of Callisto Media Inc. and/or its affiliates, in the United States
and other countries, and may not be used without written permission. All other
trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Rockridge Press is not
associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book.
Interior Designer: Carlos Esparza
Cover Designer: Carlos Esparza
Art Producer: Samantha Ulban
Editors: Lauren O'Neal and Nora Spiegel
Production Editor: Ruth Sakata Corley
Shutterstock/AnnieSpratt, pp.cover, xii; Stocksy/Alicia Bock, p.ii; Shutterstock/
Mandy Pardo, p. vi; Stocksy/Carey Shaw, p. xi; Shutterstock/TylerMiska, p.35;
Shutterstock/Chansom Pantip, p.36; Shutterstock/Snoflinga, p. 74; Stocksy/
Nicole Mason, p.113; Shutterstock/Alberto Menendez Cervero, p. 114; Stocksy/
Lyuba Burakova, p. 152. Bottom Image Author photo courtesy of © Sarah
Matista Photography.
ISBN: 978-1-64611-337-8 | eBook: 978-1-64611-338-5
R0
To my husband. Thank you for loving, sup-
porting, encouraging, and making
me smile throughout this entire process.
—Gina

For my Core 4 and my husband.
Your unwavering belief in me propels
my unwavering belief in others.
—Jamie

Contents
Getting Started viii
PART ONE
A New Approach to
Happiness 1
PART TWO
Cultivating Positive
Feelings 37
PART THREE
Who You Are and Where
You’re Going 75
PART FOUR
Talk, Listen, Love 115
Resources 153
References 155
Index 163
Getting Started
Over the last two decades, research in the field of psychology has made
great strides in better understanding happiness and how people can live
meaningful and fulfilling lives. What we know is that true, authentic hap-
piness does not simply come from money, attractiveness, luck, good health,
career success, or a lack of hardship. Instead, it’s more likely to come from
creating a life of engagement and meaning by living in accordance with
your own strengths and virtues (which we all have). Whether you’re looking
to find a little more positivity in your life or you’re searching for a deeper
sense of fulfillment, this book is full of strategies you can enjoy to bring
you closer to living your best, most authentic life.
When people find out that we’re psychologists, one of three things
usually happens: (1) They make a nervous joke about us trying to analyze
them, (2) they divulge all the latest happenings in their life, or (3) they
are fascinated and want to know if we have any specialties. Our typical
responses are to smile, remind folks that we’re off duty, and talk about the
work we do to help people discover, honor, and make space for their voices.
As strengths-based psychologists, we encourage folks to identify and build
on the skills they already possess. As strengths-based humans out in the
world, we work to share this message to honor ourselves and those in our
lives. Therapists are humans, too, and we both pride ourselves on being
therapists who practice what we preach.
Gina became a practitioner of the principles of positive psychology when
she saw them come to life in her practice and experienced the benefits her-
self. As she began seeing clients, it became clear that many of them were
seeking more than relief from their symptoms and suffering. They needed
new ways to reach their goals and aspirations.
For Jamie, positive psychology presented itself as a natural theory to
incorporate into her personal and professional practice. From conversa-
tions with her 89-year-old Bubbie (a.k.a. her grandma) to working with
15-year-olds, she has seen the incredible power (and even a bit of magic)
that comes from tapping into the strengths, values, relationships, and
capacity for happiness we all naturally possess.
Life can be difficult at times, and pain and hurt are a non-negotiable part
of the human experience. It can be easy to get caught up in the negativity,
and during extreme lows, we might even ask, “What’s the point of trying?”
viii
At the same time, life can offer the wonderful gifts of amazing experiences,
pleasure, excitement, humor, joy, and love. Our hope is that by using the
strategies in this book, you will learn how to look at the world and your life
through a more positive lens, cultivate more positive emotions and experi-
ences, better cope with negative emotions and thoughts, identify and use
your strengths and values to help you achieve your goals and create mean-
ing, and further develop communication and interpersonal skills to build
deeper, more meaningful relationships.
What Is Positive Psychology?
For clinical psychologists, education and training have historically been
centered on the treatment of mental disorders, with the goal of helping
people achieve symptom relief and return to “normal” functioning. While
this is valuable and necessary work, it started to feel overly focused on the
negative aspects of a client’s life. Wouldn’t it be great to flourish rather
than simply feel normal? What’s normal anyway? Rather than only repair
what’s broken, can we also build on what’s working?
In response to the need for a broader focus, a new field, referred to as
positive psychology, was developed. So, what is it exactly?
Positive psychology is a subfield of psychology that studies and pro-
motes the positive aspects of human life, such as the strengths and virtues
that enable individuals and communities to thrive. More specifically, it
focuses on what makes life meaningful and worth living, paying special
attention to topics like happiness, well-being, life satisfaction, gratitude,
optimism, character strengths, flourishing, and human potential.
The field of positive psychology was founded in 1998 by American
psychologist Martin Seligman (now known as the “father of positive
psychology”) during his term as president of the American Psychological
Association. At the time, Seligman was frustrated with psychology’s pri-
mary emphasis on understanding and treating the negative aspects of
the human experience, such as mental illness, suffering, dysfunctional
behavior, trauma, and pain. For this reason, he decided to make positive
psychology the theme of his presidential term.
Other psychologists have emerged as leaders of the movement with
their own unique contributions, including Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,
Christopher Peterson, and Barbara Fredrickson. From these co-initiators,
Getting Started ix