Pinball Wizards: Jackpots, Drains, and the Cult of the Silver Ball

273 Pages·2017·2.384 MB·English

by  Adam Ruben

Pinball Wizards
PINBALL
WIZARDS
JACKPOTS, DRAINS, AND
SILVER BALL
CULTOF THE
THE
Adam Ruben
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Copyright © 2018 by Adam Ruben
All rights reserved
Published by Chicago Review Press Incorporated
814 North Franklin Street
Chicago, Illinois 60610
ISBN 978‑1‑61373‑591‑6
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Ruben, Adam, author.
Title: Pinball wizards: jackpots, drains, and the cult of the silver ball /
Adam Ruben.
Description: Chicago, Illinois : Chicago Review Press, [2018] | Includes 
index. 
Identifiers: LCCN 2017012377 (print) | LCCN 2017013283 (ebook) | ISBN 
9781613735923 (pdf) | ISBN 9781613735930 (epub) | ISBN 9781613735947 
(kindle) | ISBN 9781613735916 (pbk. : alk. paper)
Subjects: LCSH: Pinball machines.
Classification: LCC GV1311.P5 (ebook) | LCC GV1311.P5 R84 2017 (print)
DDC 794.7/5—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017012377
Cover design: Jeremy John Parker
Cover photograph: Darron Fick
Typesetting: Nord Compo
Printed in the United States of America
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For my children, Maya and Benjamin,
who will one day love pinball, and for my wife, Marina,
who will then be outnumbered
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Contents
Introduction: Ever Since I Was
a Young Boy, I Played the Silver Ball 1
1 Admirable Occupations for Reasonable
Creatures .....................................11
2 A Vicious Form of Amusement .................23
3 Come to PAPA ................................43
4 “It’s More Fun to Compete” ....................69
5 How Josh and Zach’s Dad Saved Pinball .........83
6 Space Invaders ...............................105
7 Come (Back) to PAPA ........................129
8 The Day Pinball Died .........................141
9 Everything Nobody Needs ....................163
10 Backglass to the Future .......................185
11 PAPA19: Judgment Day .......................213
Epilogue: Insert Coins to Continue 235
Updates 245
Appendix 249
Acknowledgments 255
Index 257
About the Author 265
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Introduction
Ever Since I Was a Young Boy,
I Played the Silver Ball
I
lovE PInBall.
It is a bizarre, intricate game that has no valid reason to exist.
Just think of the absurdity of someone inventing this thing from
scratch, designing the 3,500 individual pieces that compose today’s
games, meticulously assembling and decorating every square inch,
programming a complicated set of rules, then putting it in a bar
for strangers to slap. Pinball machines almost look like attempts at
what’s kindly called outsider art, the sort you’d find at a specialized
museum next to a placard reading: This machine, and the adja-
cent toothpick model of the Burj Khalifa, were built by hand over a
span of twenty years by a high-functioning chimpanzee trapped in
a municipal steam turbine.
Once, in graduate school, I mentioned the word “pinball” to
a classmate, and she asked, “Pinball? Is that, like, the game with
the Ping‑Pong ball and paddles?” I explained that, no, the game
with the Ping‑Pong ball and paddles was called Ping‑Pong. I then
described pinball in excruciating detail, until I realized that she
1
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2 IntroduCtIon
had stopped listening because she thought I was describing a
video game.
In actual pinball, the ball is about the size of an egg yolk but
with a nice weight to it—like if you held it in your hand, you’d think
momentarily about lobbing it through a windowpane just to hear
that satisfying crash. Only you can’t hold it in your hand, because
it’s trapped inside a machine called a “cabinet,” which looks like a
coffin on legs.
With your right hand, you pull back a rod on a spring (the
“plunger”), then release it to smack the little silver sphere onto the
playfield, a mostly flat, lacquered expanse as jam‑packed with flashing
gadgets as sanity and cost constraints will allow.
The object of the game is to keep the ball on the playfield, where
it can boing around scoring points—registered on a display board
called the “backglass” in the upright “backbox”—as long as possible.
The playfield, however, is tilted ever so slightly downward, toward
you, so that the ball inevitably succumbs to gravity, rolling down the
polished wood surface and into the drain.
Yes, the hole right in front of you—the hole you struggle to keep
the ball the hell away from—is called the “drain.” When the ball drops
in there, it’s gone, and some frustrated cursing and machine shov‑
ing may occur.
If that was the whole game, I’d never play it. What I’ve just
described is like those little plastic toys with the tiny ball bearings,
where you shoot the balls and try to catch them in U‑shaped cups
with point values attached, the kind that provides literally minutes
of entertainment when a child selects one from the treasure chest in
the dentist’s office. And for years, pinball was just that: plunge and
pray. Score points on your ball’s brief trip from plunger to drain,
then exclaim something 1930s‑ish, like “Humdinger!,” and head to
the Odeon to pay a dime for the double‑feature newsreel.
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IntroduCtIon 3
Then, in 1947, a game called Humpty Dumpty introduced a bold
new concept: button‑operated flippers.* (The ads for Humpty Dumpty,
with its “New Type Skill Flippers,” boasted that “The Player will Laugh!
The Spectator will Roar! The Operator will be Thrilled!”)
Flippers. Two flat, rubber‑lined paddles like pinky fingers, just
above the drain, and if you press buttons on the side of the cabinet,
the flippers flick upward, knocking your ball away from the drain
and back toward the enchanting gadgets, where it can continue to
accumulate points. With the flippers, you can actually aim the ball,
trying to hit a particular target, or send the ball zipping up a plastic
ramp. You can call your shot and feel like a little Babe Ruth.
But the gadgets. Oh, the gadgets.
Big, swirly ramps that swoosh the ball satisfyingly around the
playfield. Squat, round “pop bumpers” that ping the ball away quickly
and unpredictably. “Drop targets,” which are exactly what they sound
like (targets that drop when hit with the ball). “VUKs,” or “vertical
up‑kickers”—shoot the ball in a shallow hole, and the VUK will K
the ball V‑ly U into another gadget. “Rollovers,” buttons that activate
when rolled over. Even extra flippers, positioned high up the playfield
for hitting distant targets or side ramps. Holes that swallow the ball
and suddenly send it out elsewhere, like when Pac‑Man munches off
the left side of the screen and magically appears at the right—only
this, and all of this, is happening with an actual, physical ball. And
not only do you get to watch it all happen, you get to control it, to
* H umpty Dumpty had a fairy tale theme, though the relevance of the six bikini‑clad
maidens depicted on the backglass throwing ribbons at Humpty is debatable. All pinball
machines have themes, from box office tie‑ins (Maverick the Movie, 1994; The Lord of
the Rings, 2003; James Cameron’s Avatar, 2010) to general historical time periods and
activities (Joker Poker, 1978; Volcano, 1981; Medieval Madness, 1997) to popular bands
(Kiss, 1979 and 2015; Guns N’ Roses, 1994; AC/DC, 2012) to sports (Surf Champ, 1976;
World Cup Soccer, 1994; Big Hurt, 1995) to television shows (Doctor Who, 1992; Twilight
Zone, 1993; The Simpsons Pinball Party, 2003) to the vague and inscrutable (Hooey-Ball,
1932; Daffie, 1968; Dipsy Doodle, 1970).
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