Table Of ContentPIE IT FORWARD
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P I E F OR WA RD
it
PIES, TARTS, TORTES, GALETTES
& other
PPAASSTTRRIIEESS RREEIINNVVEENNTTEEDD
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For my schatzi, Raymo.
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C
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savories
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224 A pie it forward!
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the
INTRODUCTION
You think you know pie: the double crusts, the lattices, the crumbles, and the pots. But what do you REALLY
know about it? Can you honestly say that in your relationship with these fl aky and tender-crusted vessels
of deliciousness you’ve bothered to ask about pie’s past, its adventures in history, and its development
from a thick-walled, inedibly crusted caloric delivery system to a coveted homespun delicacy? I thought
not. As the resident pie expert and offi cial member of the High Order of the Keepers of the Crust, I have
orchestrated this introduction:
READER, MEET PIE. PIE, MEET READER.
READER: So how old are you, really? time you’re eating a cheesecake, you’re really eating the
oldest known pie.
PIE: Older than most sparkly vampires—thousands of
years old. On your next visit to Egypt, you may spot my READER: How’d you get that catchy name?
image etched onto the walls of pyramids.
PIE: It’s been so many years I don’t quite remember any-
4th As a matter of fact, Pharaoh Ramses II, recognized as
3rd supreme leader AND a pie fan, was so besotted with the more, but some say I was named after the magpie, a bird
2nd crusty stuff that his tomb bears images of galettes. The that has an affi nity for collecting bits of disparate pieces
1st of junk, at which I take umbrage. Sure, early “humble pies”
Greeks and Romans used pastry to encase savory fi llings,
once consisted of anything remotely edible shoved into a
making them more portable and giving sailors some culi-
thick-walled fl our crust and baked until any vestige of taste
nary variety on long sea journeys. The fi rst hit cookbook,
was eradicated, so I can see how I could once have been
written by Apicius, has any number of recipes devoted to
equated with a clinically insane feathered hoarder, but
pastry cases fi lled with a wondrous assortment of goodies,
we’ve come so far since then.
from honey-soaked almonds to minced meats. The most
popular pie of the day (that day being around the start of READER: What’s so easy about “easy as pie”?
the fi fth century) had the unfortunate moniker of Placenta.
NK 0L Thankfully, it wasn’t an afterbirth potpie, but an ancient PIE: Who are you calling easy? I’m just not that kind of
mal I15 variation on our beloved cheesecake. So remember next girl. Now, Cake, she’s easy. Just put a bunch of ingredients
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in a bowl, and she’s ready to do your bidding. I, on the couldn’t stop themselves from shoving all manner of song-
other hand, take a little wooing. My crust needs attention, birds into a piecrust (even when it was illegal to fell the
and my fi lling is an entirely separate undertaking from the sweet warblers). Thankfully, the tradition of “dead bird on
delicious fl aky vessel. What is easy about me is the eating. pie” was eventually forsaken and, instead, porcelain birds
Back in the day, pies like delicious Cornish pasties were were settled into the pie and allowed to peek out, creating
handheld aff airs, small enough to carry in your pocket to both a form of pie identifi cation and a vent for steam.
the mines but hearty enough to nourish throughout the
READER: Is apple pie really all that American?
day. So while my preparation isn’t necessarily easy, eating
me can be. PIE: Yes, of course. Berry pies, probably even more so.
And don’t get me started on pumpkin. Pies in the Old
READER: Is it true that crusts make the pie, and have
Country were most often savory. In the New World, indus-
crusts always been so darn tasty?
trious cooks plucked and picked what was immediately
PIE: Yes and no. A pie just isn’t a pie without the crust(s), available and, like the good locavores they were, fi lled their
this much is true. But don’t get me started on what crusts pies with what was nearby, like indigenous berries and tree
used to be. First off , a crust very early on served as a vessel fruits. Thrifty Pilgrims used shallow pans lined with pas-
alone and wasn’t exactly edible. It was thick walled, inches try as a vessel for baking local berries and a baking tradi-
wide even, and was constructed from a fl our-and-water tion took hold in the Americas, giving rise to a pantheon
paste not unlike Play-Doh . . . just not as tasty. Crusts had to of splendid American beauties like apple pie, pecan pie,
be dense and damn hard to withstand hours, maybe days, sour cherry pie, and the nonpie pies like Boston cream pie
of cooking. They needed to be sturdy because they were (likely named because locals used a pie plate to bake the
made for storage. Fittingly, those inedibly crusted pies with cake layers).
tops and bottoms were once called “coff yns,” while those And since provisions like fl our were scarce, they had
with just a bottom crust were named “traps.” There were no to “cut corners”—they literally made the pies round. That’s
pie dishes; the crust was the dish and probably tasted just where the phrase comes from! True story!
as good as a hearty bite of Pyrex. Consider yourself lucky
READER: Is a tart a pie?
that some glorious baker thought to make the crust edible
by adding a generous dose of fat. PIE: Yes. So is a galette. Anything with a crust (that’s not
a cake) and with yummy fi llings is pie in my book. While
READER: Four-and-twenty blackbirds? Singing? Really? the traditionalists would maintain that the shape has to be 4th
PIE: Think what you may, but yes, I’ve been known to just so, with the crust acting as a baked bowl for the fi llings, 3rd
house live songbirds in my day. What’s more, minstrels I defy anyone to tell me that I can’t get dressed up once in 1st2nd
used to hide in me and pop out to sing a ditty or two a while. I like to go “sleeveless” now and again, like when I
between the MANY courses of Henry Tudor’s dinner par- wear a jazzy number called a “napoleon,” with layers of pas-
ties. A naked lady jumping out of a cake is quaintly 1950s. try and creamy fi llings galore. I know it may off end some,
Jumping out of a pie, however, is old-school 1480s. but there are days that I like to expose my assets. Other
When the birds weren’t living, they were still displayed times, I like to wrap myself in fi nery, perhaps in a whirl-
in all their whole, feathered glory; the carcass that had once wind of fl aky crust, as in a strudel, or some days I prefer a
encased the yummy contents of a pie would be draped over little dark chocolate or jaunty joconde decoration. Why do
the pastry to identify and adorn it. King Henry VI’s coro- cakes get all the attention? I can be as fancy or as casual
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nation was celebrated with peacock pie, and the English as I please. I am Pie, hear me roar. Or more precisely, YOU N0
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went on making these bird pies until Victorian times. They can make me roar. Now, get to it. m
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