Table Of ContentPattern Changing for
Abused Women: An
Educational Program
Marilyn Shear
Goodman
Patter n
Changin g
for Abuse d
Wome n
Interpersona l Violence :
Th e Practic e Serie s
Jon R. Conte , Serie s Edito r
Interpersona l Violence: The Practice Series is devote d to menta l health ,
social service, and allied professional s who confront daily the problem of
interpersona l violence. It is hoped that the knowledge , professiona l expe-
rience, and high standard s of practice offered by the author s of these
volume s may lead to the end of interpersona l violence.
In this series...
LEGAL ISSUES IN CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT
by John Å. B. Myers
CHILD ABUSE TRAUMA: Theory and Treatmen t of the Lasting Effects
by John N. Briere
INTERVENTIO N FOR MEN WHO BATTER: An Ecological Approac h
by Jeffrey L. Edleson and Richard M. Tolman
COGNITIV E PROCESSIN G THERAPY FOR RAPE VICTIMS: A Treatmen t Manual
by Patricia A. Resick and Monica K. Schnicke
GROUP TREATMENT OF ADULT INCEST SURVIVORS
by Mary Ann Donaldso n and Susan Cordes-Gree n
TEAM INVESTIGATIO N OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE: The Uneasy Alliance
by Donna Pence and Charles Wilson
HOW TO INTERVIEW SEXUAL ABUSE VICTIMS: Includin g the Use of Anatomica l Dolls
by Marcia Morgan , with contribution s from Virginia Edward s
ASSESSING DANGEROUSNESS : Violence by Sexual Offenders , Batterers, and Child Abusers
Edited by Jacquelyn C. Campbel l
PATTERN CHANGIN G FOR ABUSED WOMEN: An Educationa l Program
by Marilyn Shear Goodma n and Beth Creager Fallon
GROUPWOR K WITH CHILDREN OF BATTERED WOMEN: A Practitioner' s Manual
by Einat Peled and Diane Davis
PSYCHOTHERAP Y WITH SEXUALLY ABUSED BOYS: An Integrate d Approach
by William N. Friedrich
CONFRONTIN G ABUSIVE BELIEFS: Group Treatmen t for Abusive Men
by Mary Nomme Russell
TREATMENT STRATEGIES FOR ABUSED CHILDREN : From Victim to Survivor
by Cheryl L. Karp and Traci L. Butler
GROUP TREATMENT FOR ADULT SURVIVORS OF ABUSE: A Manual for Practitioner s
by Laura Pistone Webb and James Leehan
WORKING WITH CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT: A Primer
by Vernon R. Wiehe
TREATING SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILDREN AND THEIR NONOFFENDIN G PARENTS:
A Cognitiv e Behaviora l Approach
by Esther Deblinge r and Anne Hope Heflin
HEARING THE INTERNAL TRAUMA: Working With Childre n and Adolescent s Who
Have Been Sexually Abused
by Sandra Wieland
Patter n
Changin g
for Abuse d
Wome n
An Educationa l Progra m
Marily n Shea r Goodma n
Beth Creage r Fallon
Forewor d by Richar d J. Gelle s
Interpersona l Violence:
The Practice Series
SAG E Publication s
International Educational and Professional Publisher
Thousan d Oaks London New Delhi
Copyrigh t © 1995 by Sage Publications , Inc.
All rights reserved . The purchas e of this copyrigh t materia l con-
fers the right on the purchase r to reproduc e it by photocopyin g
withou t specific authorizatio n by the publisher .
For information address:
SAGE Publications , Inc.
2455 Teller Road
Thousan d Oaks, Californi a 91320
E-mail: [email protected] m
SAGE Publication s Ltd.
6 Bonhill Street
London EC2A 4PU
United Kingdo m
SAGE Publication s India Pvt. Ltd.
M-32 Marke t
Greate r Kailash I
New Delhi 110 048 India
Printe d in the United States of Americ a
Library of Congres s Cataloging-in-Publicatio n Data
Goodman , Marilyn Shear.
Pattern changin g for abused women : an educationa l progra m /
authors , Marilyn Shear Goodman , Beth Creager Fallon; with a
forewor d by Richard ]. Gelles.
p. cm. — (Interpersona l violence: the practice series ;
vol. 9)
Include s bibliographica l reference s and index.
ISBN 0-8039-5493-X. — ISBN 0-8039-5494-8 (pbk.)
1. Abused women—Rehabilitation . 2. Abused women—Counselin g
of. 3. Assertivenes s training . 4. Family violence—Prevention .
I. Fallon, Beth Creager . II. Title. III. Series: Interpersona l
violence; v. 9.
RC569.5.F3G664 1995
616.85'822—dc20 94-31051
00 01 10 9 8 7 6 5
Sage Productio n Editor : Diana E. Axelsen
77ns book is dedicated to the many abused women over the years
who have sought help at the Women's Resource Center of South
County. They came expecting only to receive, but the courageous
sharing of their painful stories became a gift to us: it was the
inspiration for the Pattern Changing Program.
Please addres s question s regardin g any section of
Pattern Changing for Abused Women
to Marilyn Goodman .
Inquirie s about availabl e workshop s
should be addresse d to Beth Fallon.
P.O. Box 5646
Wakefield , Rhode Island 02880
Contents
Forewor d xiii
Acknowledgment s xvii
Introductio n 1
Marilyn Shear Goodman
Boundar y Setting Using Assertivenes s Skills 11
Beth Creager Fallon
Overvie w 13
First Things First 13
Format of the Sessions 16
Commo n Thread s 18
Myers-Brigg s Type Indicato r 22
1. Your Rights and the Impact of Abuse 25
SESSION I TEXT 25
Basic Rights 25
Defining the Abuse Problem 27
SESSION I SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 32
2. Family Roles and Abuse : Why Is It So Hard to Leave? 42
SESSION II TEXT 42
When There Is Abuse , What Is Whose Problem ? 42
Why It Is So Hard to Leave 44
SESSION II SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 51
3. The Dysfunctiona l Childhoo d Legacy 59
SESSION III TEXT 59
Factors 59
Results 60
SESSION III SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 64
4. Boundarie s and Good-Bye s to Old Pattern s 71
SESSION IV TEXT 71
Boundarie s 71
Old Pattern s 75
How to Chang e Unhealth y Pattern s 76
SESSION IV SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 79
5. About Feelings: Grief, Fear, and Guilt 85
SESSION V TEXT 85
Sadnes s and Grief 85
Fear and Anxiety 87
From Guilt to Responsibilit y 90
SESSION V SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 93
6. More About Feelings: Anger 100
SESSION VI TEXT 100
Understandin g Anger 100
Steps for Handlin g the Anger Within Yourself 102
Steps Toward Taking Action 103
SESSION VI SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 106
7. Boundar y Setting Using Assertivenes s Skills 1:
Myth and Reality 113
SESSION VII TEXT 113
What Is Assertivenes s Skills Training ? 113
Definitio n of Assertivenes s 115
Compariso n of Assertive , Nonassertive , and
Aggressiv e Behavior s 115
Women and Assertivenes s 116
Trustin g Yourself to Be Assertiv e 121
Stumblin g Blocks to Assertivenes s 121
Some Myths About Assertivenes s 122
Assertivenes s Practice 123
SESSION VII SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 125
8. Boundar y Setting Using Assertivenes s Skills 2:
Technique s 131
SESSION VIII TEXT 131
Rules for Assertivenes s 131
Assertivenes s Technique s 132
SESSION VIII SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 136
9. Boundar y Setting Using Assertivenes s Skills 3:
Request s and Authorit y Figures 140
SESSION IX TEXT 140
Why Is Making a Request So Hard ? 140
Why Is Refusing a Request So Hard ? 142
Dealing With Authorit y Figures 145
SESSION IX SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 146
10. Boundar y Setting Using Assertivenes s Skills 4:
Practice 152
SESSION X TEXT 152
Practicin g Assertivenes s Skills 152
Assertivenes s and Anger 153
A Word of Cautio n 154
SESSION X SCRIPT FOR LEADERS 156
