On the Other Side of Chaos: Understanding the Addiction of a Loved One

266 Pages·2018·4.95 MB·English

by  Ellen Van Vechten

Special Praise for On the Other Side of Chaos
“On the Other Side of Chaos is an invaluable resource for the families and loved
ones of those trapped in addiction. Van Vechten’s combination of compassion
for the one suffering with a substance use disorder, written from her perspective
as a family member of someone who suffered with addiction, along with
comprehensive information on this baffling disease and it’s treatment provides
readers with a critical resource. Her book is likely to become a staple in the
treatment of addiction for anyone who wants to learn more about how to cope
with this cunning disease. This is recommended reading for our families.”
Brad M. Reedy, PhD
Cofounder and Clinical Director of Evoke Therapy Programs
Author of The Journey of the Heroic Parent
“On the Other Side of Chaos is a comprehensive and useful resource for family
members of individuals with substance use disorders. It is a valuable tool for
families attempting to understand, navigate, and cope with the complex process
of substance use and recovery for themselves and their loved ones. I am going to
recommend this book to my clients.”
Janice Gabe, LCSW, LCAC
Owner and President of New Perspectives of Indiana, Inc.
“Making our way through the turmoil of a loved one’s addiction is daunting for
the one with the disease and his or her family. Blame, shame, not understanding
the disease, not knowing where to turn, and what help is available only add to
the confusion. Now comes Ellen Van Vechten who provides a much-needed
resource that guides loved ones suffering from a substance use disorder and their
families away from the blame and shame and toward clarity about the true
impact of addictive substances, the nature of the disease, and the way through
the chaos.”
Chuck Hutchcraft, LCSW
Psychotherapist and mindfulness meditation teacher
“On the Other Side of Chaos is a timely and relevant text that offers practical,
sound, and heartfelt information and support for the family and loved ones of
those living with addiction. Armed with evidence-based and practice-informed
data, Ellen Van Vechten walks readers through pertinent information on
substance use and treatment, as well as providing a call for family and loved
ones to engage in their own recovery. Perhaps most importantly, Ellen uses her
own experience of living through a loved one’s addiction to bring empathy and
grace to what is often such a challenging experience.”
Brian L. Kelly, PhD, MSW, CADC
Assistant Professor Director, Advanced Accredited Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse Counselor Training
Program Loyola University Chicago School of Social Work
“Why does anyone pick up a drink or a drug? After so many personal
disappointments and heartaches, why would anyone go back to using again? Is
there any hope for these individuals? Can they be cured? Why do loved ones
take them back again and again? Can any of us make life-giving changes and
gain a sense of peace?
“These are some of the questions presented in this eye-opening book that will be
most informational and useful to a wide audience. Substance use can cause deep
heartache for the one using it and for anyone related to him or her.
“The author presents us with this difficult subject in a manner that is clearly
understood and indicates her deep caring for those affected by this disease. She
has brought current research into the subject in an appealing format that can
reach many who do not have the opportunity to look into this on their own.”
Patricia L. Bogie, MSW, LCSW, CADC, MISAII
Director of Addiction Counseling and Education Services
Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago (Retired)
“At a time when the opioid crisis is impacting thousands, families of these
individuals are at a loss to understand what is going on with their loved ones
caught up in this downward spiral. Ellen’s On the Other Side of Chaos captures
a comprehensive up-to-date view of substance use disorders detailed in plain
layman’s language, including some of the self-defeating behaviors happening
with their addicted family members. Thumbs up.”
Rick Love, MHS, CAADC, PCGC
Director of Staff Training and Development Haymarket Center, Chicago (Retired)
“Myths abound when it comes to the issues of addiction to alcohol and other
drugs. Perplexities, shame, frustration, self-blame, fatigue, and hurt are common
feelings endured by many when these issues are connected to our close loved
ones. In On the Other Side Chaos, Van Vechten debunks these myths using
neurobiological evidences and unpacks the scientific knowledge related to many
different types of addictive substances and how these influence individual
physical and mental health functioning. She carefully walks the reader through
each step of the inner workings of addiction and various supportive mechanisms
—from traditional treatments to mixtures of modalities formally and other
support networks informally—to suggest making reasoned decisions to ‘do what
we can.’ By accepting that the supporters of SUD patients are powerless and
cannot control the conditions, Van Vechten helps liberate people from the
downward spiral of negativity and shows the path to peace and serenity. This is
the most comprehensive book that brings together science and personal
connection in the journey of walking the walk with loved ones through chaos,
but with the hope of seeing a bright future after the storm.”
Philip Hong, PhD
Lucian and Carol Welch Matusak Endowed Professor
Loyola University Chicago School of Social Work
Associate Dean for Research
Director of the Doctoral Program
Director, Center for Research on Self-Sufficiency
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CHAOS
ELLEN VAN VECHTEN
ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF
CHAOS
UNDERSTANDING
THE ADDICTION
OF A LOVED ONE
LAS VEGAS
Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction
treatment, recovery, and behavioral healthcare topics.
For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.
© 2018 by Ellen Van Vechten
All rights reserved. Published 2018. Printed in the United States of America.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by
any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission
of the publisher.
Publisher: Central Recovery Press 3321 N. Buffalo Drive
Las Vegas, NV 89129
23 22 21 20 19 18  1 2 3 4 5
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Van Vechten, Ellen, author.
Title: On the other side of chaos : understanding the addiction of a loved one / Ellen Van Vechten.
Description: Las Vegas : Central Recovery Press, [2018]
Identifiers: LCCN 2018018098 (print) | LCCN 2018034685 (ebook) | ISBN 9781942094807 (ebook) |
ISBN 9781942094791 (pbk. : alk. paper) Subjects: LCSH: Substance abuse--Treatment. | Addicts--
Family relationships.
Classification: LCC RC564 (ebook) | LCC RC564 .V348 2018 (print) | DDC 362.29--dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018018098
Photo of Ellen Van Vechten by Jill Norton, Jill Norton Photography. Used with permission.
Every attempt has been made to contact copyright holders. If copyright holders have not been properly
acknowledged please contact us. Central Recovery Press will be happy to rectify the omission in future
printings of this book.
Publisher’s Note: This book contains general information about addiction, addiction recovery and
treatment, and related matters. The information is not medical advice. This book is not an alternative to
medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.
Our books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to
ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To
protect their privacy, the names of some of the people, places, and institutions in this book may have been
changed.
Cover design and interior by Sara Streifel, Think Creative Design.
For all of us
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Faces & Voices of Recovery (facesandvoicesofrecovery.org), an advocacy group
for those in recovery and those who love them, has developed language that
allows persons in recovery to speak or write about their “experience, strength,
and hope” without violating their own anonymity or that of others: I’m Ellen and
I am a family member in recovery from another’s addiction. I am committed to
recovery because it has given me new purpose and hope for the future while
helping me gain stability in my life. I am speaking out because long-term
recovery has helped me change my life for the better, and I want to make it
possible for others to do the same. (Adapted from Advocacy with Anonymity, a
publication of Faces & Voices of Recovery, the Johnson Institute, Join Together,
and the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.) This work is
not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should
consult a physician or addiction professional in matters related to health,
particularly with respect to any issues or conditions that may require diagnosis or
medical attention.