Non-monogamies and the space of discourse theorizing the intersections of non/monogamy and ...

310 Pages·2010·13.31 MB·English

Non-Monogamies and the Space of Discourse
Theorizing the Intersections ofNon/Monogamy and Intimate
Privilege in the Public Sphere
Nathan Rambukkana
A Thesis
In the Department
of
Communication Studies
Presented in Partial Fulfillment ofthe Requirements
For the Degree ofDoctor ofPhilosophy at
Concordia University
Montréal, Québec, Canada
January, 2010
© Nathan Patrick Rambukkana, 2010
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Abstract
Non-Monogamies and the Space ofDiscourse: Theorizing the Intersections of
Non/Monogamy and Intimate Privilege in the Public Sphere
Nathan Rambukkana, Ph.D.
Concordia University, 2010
This dissertationuses genealogical discourse analysis to unpack recent Western conceptions
ofmonogamy andnon-monogamy in the public sphere. Beginning from the premise that
discourses surrounding monogamy and non-monogamy (taken together as a system of
non/monogamy) have come into particular prominence in recent years, this dissertation
deploys a thread ofqueer theory focused on the study ofbroader conceptions of"intimacy"
to explore the ramifications ofsuch a prominence in the public sphere. More specifically,
drawing ontheorizations ofspatiality (Temporary Autonomous Zones,
Mapping/Reterritorialization, Heterotopia) and the concept of"privilege", I formulate the
theoretical lens of"intimate privilege" to explore how non/monogamy is distributed
throughout, takes up, and creates forms ofintimate space.
In exploding the overly-simple notion that monogamous sexuality is societally
privileged, while non-monogamies are marginalized, I show how while there is a societal
meta-narrative thatcentres monogamy, it is really the intersectionality ofnon/monogamy
with other forms ofprivilege/oppression that truly locates a subject practicing (or connected
to) non-monogamous intimacy as having intimate privilege, defined as the emergent state in
which one's intimacies hold societal privilege.
Engaging in theoretical and discursive analyses ofthe contemporary public sphere
presences ofthree major forms ofnon-monogamy (adultery, polygamy and polyamory)
through texts such asjournalistic articles, policy documents, self-help literature, television
iv
programs and Internet sites, I continue the academic discussion surrounding non-
monogamies that isjust beginning to come into its own in the fields ofsocial science and
humanities, as well as to complicate less-nuanced discourses on non/monogamy that are
circulating more broadly in thepublic sphere.
V
Acknowledgements
This would nothave been possible without the many people and organizations who have
helped, pushed, prodded, listened, read, put up with, edited, funded, accepted, inspired,
enraged, frustrated, cooked, leant, shared and informed in multiple senses and capacities
throughout the research and writing ofthis project. Though too numerous to thank
individually, you all know who you are, and this exists because ofyou. In particular I
would like to thank my supervisor Dr. Chantal Nadeau, who I am thoroughly convinced
never stopped thinking about my project and turning the pieces over and over in her mind
since the day I pitched it to her so many years ago. Chantal, your insights were always
spot on, well thought through andproductive, evenwhen delivered by video linkfrom an
entirely different country. Itwas an honor to be one ofyour academic "children", thank
you! I would also like to thank the rest ofmy inspiring defence committee, Drs. Maria
Nengeh Mensah, Gada Mahrouse, Line Grenier and Monika Kin Gagnon. Nengeh, it was
exciting to meet you and hearing you put my work in yourwords has sparked entirely
new directions ofinquiry forme. Gada, my frustration at having not discovered your
writing onprivilege in time to mobilize its insights has been swept away by the
satisfaction ofbeing able to engage with them now. Line, you have been there
throughout my time in the Joint Ph.D. in so many ways, thank you. And Monika, thank
you forvisiting me in Toronto when I was feeling estranged from Concordia and worried
that I would never get the project finished, and fortaking on all the bureaucratic
arrangements for getting me to defence, and for everything else you have done over the
years to help and support me. I would also like to specifically thank my family members,
both old and new, for supporting me in countlessways throughout the years. And finally
I would like to thank my partner Zahra Murad, without whose insights and patience this
project would have never taken its current shape, let alone been finished. I would also
like to acknowledge the support ofConcordia University, the Social Science and
Humanities Research Council ofCanada (SSHRC) and the Fonds Québéquois de la
Recherche sur la Société et la Culture (FQRSC) who collectively provided financial
support for this project.
Vl
Dedication
For myMother, who taught me about feminism,
for my Father, who was always there,
for my Grandmother, who always believed in me,
and for Zahra, who taughtme to be critical.
Vil
Table of Contents
List ofFigures x
Introduction: Non/Monogamyand Intimacyinthe Public Sphere 1
/- contextuahzingthe cusp ».... 1
Unpacking Non-Monogamy 5
Problematic, Argument, and Methodological Trajectory 7
Theoretical Positioning: Queer Theory, Intimacy, Non/Monogamy
and The Public Sphere 12
Queer Theoryand theExploration ofIntimacy 12
TheNon/MonogamySystem 17
TheIntimatePublicSphere 20
II-BreakdownofChapters 22
Chapter 1 The Space ofPrivilege: SituatingNon/Monogamy and
Intimate Privilege 27
Introduction: The Fluid Relation ofNon-Monogamy and Privilege 27
The Logic ofPrivilege and the Dynamics ofSpace 31
Privilege, Intimacy and Space in the Public Sphere 51
Non/Monogamy and Intimate Privilege: The Angba Case Revisited 53
Chapter2 TheAdulteryIndustry: Autonomy, Heteronormativity
andthe PoliticalEconomy of Cheating 66
Introduction: Pro-Adultery Discourse in the Intimate Public Sphere 66
Intimacy and Space Revisited: Space Creating Intimacy 70
The Industrial Production ofInfidelity, and Heteronormative
Capitalist Autonomy 72
viii
Pro-Adultery Discourse and the Language ofAffairs 85
J- "The Fashionable Vice": OnKipnis'sAgainst Love 87
II- "HowBestto StraySo YouDon'tHave to Pay":
On Brandt's The 50 Mile Rule 96
III— "When MonogamyBecomesMonotony":
On AshIeyMadison.com 105
Autonomous Capitalist Individualism as Privileged Intimacy 114
Chapter3 OverdeterminingtheMap of Polygamy: TheDiscursive
Reterritorialization of PluralMarriage 118
Introduction: Approaching Polygamy Through Theory 118
On Maps, Discourse and Overdetermined Reterritorialization 123
The Discursive Reterritorializing ofPolygamy in the Public Sphere 130
I- TheFigure ofthe "SlipperySlope"inPolygamy and
Same-SexMarriageDiscourse 133
II- Overdetermination in Coverage ofBountiful, B.C. andthe
FLDS CustodyBattle 142
III-PrimetimePolygamy: Unpacking Big Love'sProminence
in thePublicSphere 160
Reframing the Polygamy Debate 168
Chapter4 TheFraughtPromiseofPolyamory: Is "ResponsibleNon-
Monogamy" aNewIntimateEthics or
Heterotopian Enclave? 171
Introduction: Challenging the Notion ofa Universifiable PoIy Ethics 171
On Heterotopian Space, Difference and the Politics ofthe Enclave 176
Intersections in Non-Monogamous Space: Polyamory, Polygamy and
Adultery in the Intimate Public Sphere 184
IX
Polyamory Through a Lens ofIntimate Privilege: Challenging the
Politics ofthe Heterotopia as Enclave 191
I-ProblematizingHeinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land
asPrecursorto PolyDiscourse 194
Z/- Unpacking "TheBible ofPolyamory": ReadingEthical Slut
Against the Grain 205
III-Between PrivilegeandMarginalization: Reading the
PolyamorousPublicSphere 216
Towards Spaces ofAnti-Oppressive Heterotopian Polyamory 223
Conclusion: Non/Monogamy, Privilege andthe Space ofDiscourse 225
Lines ofFlight: Directions forFuture Research 234
Final Thoughts 240
Works Cited 243
AppendixA: ExpandedList ofEngagementswithNon-Monogamy
in thePublic Sphere 287
AppendixB: Samples ofAshleyMadisonAgency Advertising 295
Appendix C: Canada's Criminal Code (C.26) Statutes Regarding
Bigamyand Polygamy 298
X
List of Figures
Fig 1. "Ashley Madison Banner Ad." 109
Fig 2. "Ashley Madison Affiliates Advertisement." 295
Fig 3. "Ashley Madison Print Ad 3." 296
Fig 4. "Ashley Madison Billboard, West Hollywood 2007." 296
Fig 5. "Ashley Madison Superbowl Program Insert, 2009." 297