Table Of ContentTable of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1 - INTRODUCTION: THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX
Chapter 2 - USING THIS BOOK
Section One - BASICS
Chapter 3 - MASTURBATION: FUN FOR ONE OR MORE
Chapter 4 - THE GLORY OF O
Chapter 5 - FOREPLAY: TURNING UP THE HEAT
Chapter 6 - CUNNILINGUS: WORKING UNDER THE HOOD
Chapter 7 - FELLATIO: MAKING HIS KNOB THROB
Chapter 8 - MAKING LOVE TO WOMEN: PUSHING HER BUTTONS
Chapter 9 - MAKING LOVE TO MEN: INSERTING TAB A IN SLOT B
Chapter 10 - ANAL SEX: NO PAIN, ALL GAIN
Section Two - EXTRAS
Chapter 11 - TOYS: PUTTING TECHNOLOGY TO WORK
Chapter 12 - SWINGING: STRANGERS AT THE PARTY
Chapter 13 - THREE-WAY SEX: TWO GIRLS AND A GUY—MORE FUN THAN
IT SOUNDS
Chapter 14 - THREE-WAY SEX: TWO GUYS AND A GIRL—AS MUCH FUN AS
IT SOUNDS
Section Three - OPTIONS
Chapter 15 - SENSUAL DOMINATION: TAKING CONTROL
Chapter 16 - SENSUAL SUBMISSION: GIVING IT UP FOR LOVE
Chapter 17 - EROTIC SPANKING: NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, AND OH SO NICE
Chapter 18 - EROTIC BONDAGE: WHEN TIMES CALL FOR A LITTLE
RESTRAINT
AFTERWORD
BIBLIOGRAPHY
INDEX
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada),
90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin
Canada Inc.) •
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin
2, Ireland
(a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria
3124, Australia
(a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre,
Panchsheel Park,
New Delhi-110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), Cnr Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland 1310,
New Zealand
(a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue,
Rosebank,
Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Copyright © 2006 by Nina Hartley®
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any
printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy
of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors’ rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
Published simultaneously in Canada
Photos courtesy Adam&Eve, taken by Vic Alpine
Most Avery books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchase for sales promotions,
premiums, fund-raising, and educational needs. Special books or book excerpts also can be created to fit
specific needs. For details, write Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Special Markets, 375 Hudson Street, New York,
NY 10014.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Hartley, Nina.
[Guide to total sex]
Nina Hartley‘s guide to total sex/by Nina Hartley with I. S. Levine.
p. cm.
eISBN : 978-1-101-11828-3
1. Sex instruction. 2. Sex. 3. Sexual excitement. I. Levine, I. S. (Ira S.), 1952- II. Title.
III. Title: Guide to total sex.
HQ31.H
619’6—dc22
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
While the authors have made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the
time of publication, neither the publisher nor the authors assume any responsibility for errors, or for changes
that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any
responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. Neither the publisher nor the authors are
engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and
suggestions contained in this book are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All
matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be liable
or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book.
Accordingly nothing in this book is intended as an express or implied warranty of the suitability or fitness of
any product, service, or design. The reader wishing to use a product, service, or design discussed in this book
should first consult a specialist or professional to ensure suitability and fitness for the reader’s particular
lifestyle and environmental needs.
http://us.penguingroup.com
For Dr. Betty A. Dodson, who set it all in motion
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to give thanks to the many people who helped me so much in the
making of this book: Dr. Carol Queen; Dr. Robert Lawrence; Dr. Annie Sprinkle;
Patrick Califia, MFCC; Timothy Greenfield-Sanders; Scott Waxman; Farley Chase;
Phil Harvey; Bernard Oakley; Bob Christian; Zoe Diamassis; Frank Gavin; Nadine
Strossen; Professor Linda Williams; Lou and Blanche Hartman; Joseph Levine;
Matthew Brand; Benjamin Hoffman; Jennifer Ramsey; Michelle Beacham; Joel
Berens; Olivia De Berardinis; and Veronica Rush. Many thanks to Adam&Eve for
the use of their photographs and to the performers whose likenesses illuminate these
pages: Shayla Laveaux; Carmen Luvana; Violet Blue; T. J. Hart; Nicole Sheriden;
Randy Spears; Christian; Chris Cannon; Voodoo, Trent Tesaro, and Julian.
Chapter 1
INTRODUCTION: THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX
You’re holding in your hands the book I wish I had owned when I turned eighteen.
I needed this book desperately, and believe me, things were much less complicated
back then. I enjoyed the particular good fortunes of a unique place and time. Because
I was brought up in an unconventional group-living situation by Buddhist parents in
the Bay Area, my natural sexuality may not have gotten much direct encouragement
at home, but my search for an authentic identity did. That, after all, was what had led
my parents to Zen in the first place. Graduating from Berkeley High School in 1977,
I came of age during the last decade when sexuality was widely considered a
positive, healing, beautiful thing. The exposure I had to new ways of thinking about
sex, “happiness,” gender relations, culture, women’s liberation, living arrangements,
and personal responsibility supported my developing ideas about sex, men, women,
and intimacy.
By the time I got naked with another for the first time, at the age of eighteen, I
had read a good deal of the new thinking about social rules. Though from the
beginning I was cautious and sensible in the way that parents would generally like
their kids to be, my outlook on sex was broadly positive. I believed, and still believe,
that my body is my friend and doesn’t lie, that I must learn all I can about my
physical self and take responsibility for my sexual satisfaction. When the time came,
I felt safe to let my pleasure be my teacher.
Looking at the issues confronting young people today, I count myself blessed.
They grew up with HIV-AIDS, abstinence-only “sex education,” the bitter divisions
of gender politics, and a social culture that sells them commodified sex in all forms
while telling them not to engage in it. The heartfelt, confident, reassuring messages
about sex that were common to my generation go all but unheard in theirs. For
twenty years, the news about sex has all been bad.
But the good news, then and now, is that the truth about sex has never changed.
Many, many people have managed to discover that truth, even in an era that hasn’t
made the search easy. That truth is there for you, and my message is that you are
entitled to it. You are entitled to know your sexual self, express your sexual self, and
satisfy your sexual self. You are also entitled to explore that self on your own or in
the company of others. You are entitled not only to sex but also to thrilling,
liberating, mind-blowing, soul-filling, intimacy-building total sex. You need never
settle for less, and you shouldn’t. The truth about sex is that it is yours by right. It is
possible to become sexually sane, even in a culture torn with sexual insecurities. If I
