Table Of ContentO
J b
The Guide to Cool,
Odd, Risky,
and Gruesome
Ways to Make
a Living
BY LOOKOUT MEDIA: Jake Brooks, Nicholas Corman,
Chuck Kapelke, Jamie Rosen, Sara Smith,
and Michelle Sullivan
Ten Speed Press
Berkeley, California
!
Copyright © 1999 by Jamie Rosen
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be repro-
duced in any form, except brief excerpts for the purpose of
review, without written permission of the publisher.
A Kirsty Melville Book
Ten Speed Press
P.O. Box 7123
Berkeley, California 94707
www.tenspeed.com
Distributed in Australia by Simon and Schuster Australia, in
Canada by Ten Speed Press Canada, in New Zealand by
Southern Publishing Group, in South Africa by Real Books,
in Southeast Asia by Berkeley Books, and in the United
Kingdom and Europe by Airlift Books.
Design by Catherine Jacobes
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rosen, Jamie.
Nice job! : the guide to cool, odd, risky, and gruesome
ways to make a living / by Jamie Rosen.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-58008-033-2 (alk.paper)
1. Vocational guidance. 2. Occupations. I. Title.
HF581.R7615 1999 98-56096
331.7’02--dc21 CIP
First printing, 1999
Printed in Canada
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 — 02 01 00 99
If I had only known,
I would have been a locksmith.
—A L B E R T E I N S T E I N
P
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work;
I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
—W O O D Y A L L E N
P
No labor, however humble, is dishonoring.
— T H E TA L M U D
Contents
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS P vi 4. Voyeurs and Poseurs P 55
Mystery Shopper P 56
PREFACE P viii
Pilgrim P 59
1. Call of the Wild P 1 Mall Santa P 62
Pet Groomer P 2 Cartoon Character Impersonator P 65
Beekeeper P 4 Drag Queen P 68
Holistic Veterinarian P 6 Private Investigator P 71
Fish Processor and Deckhand P 10 Paparazzo P 75
Aquaculturist P 12 Audience Member P 78
2. Risky Business P 16 Celebrity Autobiography Collaborator
(Ghostwriter) P 80
Wildlands Firefighter
(Smokejumper) P 17 5. Sex Sells P 83
Rodeo Clown (Barrel Man) P 21 Stripper P 84
Hollywood Stuntperson P 23 Porn Star P 87
Mercenary P 26 Geisha P 90
Bounty Hunter (Bail Enforcement Erotic Screenwriter P 93
Agent) P 29
Dominatrix P 96
Human Guinea Pig P 32
Romance Novelist P 99
3. Up on High P 37
6. Civil Servant P 102
Forest Fire Lookout P 38
Executioner P 103
Blimp Pilot P 40
Helicopter Traffic Reporter P 43 7. Out on a Limb P 106
Bush Pilot P 46 Prosthetist P 107
Flight Attendant P 49 Body Part Model P 110
Airshow Pilot P 52
iv
8. In the Flesh P 113 12. Your Name in Lights P 196
Plastic Surgeon P 114 Sports Mascot P 196
Body Piercer P 117 The Real World and Road Rules
Story Editor P 199
Taxidermist P 121
Performance Artist P 202
Funeral Home Cosmetologist P 124
Paranormal TV News Show
Tattoo Artist P 126
Researcher P 205
9. Cool Jobs P 129 TV Weathercaster P 208
Zamboni Driver P 130 Radio Contest Winner P 211
Polar Meteorologist P 133 Voice-over Actor P 214
Dog Musher P 136
13. Food for Thought P 217
Ice Sculptor P 139
Ice Cream Flavor Developer P 218
Good Humor Man P 141
Wedding Cake Chef P 220
Christmas Tree Farmer P 145
Army Food Technologist P 224
10. God Is in the Details P 148 Brewmaster P 227
Crossword Puzzle Writer/Editor P 149 Restaurant Critic P 230
Product Name Developer P 152 Sommelier P 234
Pooper Scooper P 155 Professor at Hamburger University P 237
Accessories Designer P 159
14. Let’s Get Physical P 239
Baby Proofer P 161
Harlem Globetrotter Opponent P 240
Mohel P 164
(American) Football Player in Europe P 242
11. Weird Science P 167 Armwrestler P 244
Bigfoot Research Director P 168 Yoga Instructor P 247
SETI Researcher P 171
15. On the Move P 250
Cryonicist P 174
National Geographic Photographer P 251
Atomic Clock Timekeeper P 177
Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol
Hypnotist (Hypnotherapist) P 180
Member P 254
Cryptographer P 184
Circus Roustabout P 257
Demolition Contractor P 187
Bicycle Messenger P 259
Telephone Psychic P 191
Club Med GO P 262
White House Advance Person P 265
v
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ORE THAN TWENTY VERY TALENTED PEOPLE contributed the research
Mand writing that makes Nice Job! more than just a blank diary suitable for
jotting down recipes, doodles, and telephone messages.We gratefully acknowledge
the efforts of J.P.Anderson, Elizabeth Angell,Alec Appelbaum, Gillian Ashley, Frank
Beidler, Lusan Chua,Adam Day, Noah Dauber, Sean Fitzpatrick, Matt Haber, Billy
Hulkower, Amelia Kaplan, Andrew Nieland, Doug Rand, Chip Rossetti, Elizabeth
Russo, Leeore Schnairsohn, Evan Sicuranza, Kathy Squires, and Lindsey Turrentine.
Many of these writers worked together previously at Let’s Go Travel Guides while
at Harvard University.Take note of their names: Listed above are some of America’s
best and brightest young writers.
We’d like to especially thank Vanessa Rosen, the book’s first intrepid researcher.
She stalked beekeepers, perfumers, and hand models, located sperm banks, and
hunted down art forgers with aplomb.Without her tireless work at the outset, the
book would never have materialized.
Our agent, Alan Kellock, also helped kickstart the book. He jumped on board
with alacrity and never lost enthusiasm throughout the two years it took us to
get from the concept to the final product. He gave us sound advice, creative sug-
gestions, and kind encouragement throughout the process.
Our editor, Aaron Wehner, overcame the confusion of dealing with multiple
authors and went above and beyond the call of duty to whip the manuscript into
shape in record time. He proved eminently competent, creative, and a pleasure to
work with.We are also grateful to Aaron’s colleagues at Ten Speed Press, especially
Kirsty Melville, whose vision was absolutely vital.
We would also like to acknowledge a long list of accomplices who helped in
one way or another. Stephanie Buchanan scavenged photos, saving the book at
the last minute from being one big block of dense text. Catherine Jacobes would
vi
A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S
never have let that happen, however. An immensely talented designer, Catherine
is responsible for the witty illustrations and superb design and layout. Claire Ellis
shouted our name from atop the tallest buildings in Manhattan to get the word
out. We also appreciate the inspiration and support of Anne Chisolm, Judy and
Avery Corman, Bill Crowley, Wade Fox, Sofie Forsgren, Gerald Gamm, Pat
George, Chris Harden, Andrew Kaplan, Sarah MacArthur, D.W. Maze, Laurent
Ruseckas, David Stires, and the whole gang at Comet Systems.
We would also like to thank the people whose intangible contributions made
the project fun. Norman and Estelle Rosen opened up their home, their refrig-
erator, and their liquor cabinet for two weekend retreats which thankfully involved
no more than one person needing to be bailed out of jail. Judy and Leon
Rothenberg provided their dining room table for our editorial meetings.
Finally, we’d like to thank the people with wonderful stories and fascinating
jobs who graciously took the time to talk to us. This book is dedicated to their
indomitable creative spirit.
Jake Brooks
Nick Corman
Chuck Kapelke
Jamie Rosen
Sara Smith
Michelle Sullivan
vii
PREFACE
No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is,
you still have to get out of it.
—G R A C E S L I C K
ORK , FOR MOST ADULTS , IS A FACT OF LIFE . It’s a four-letter word, a
Wnecessary evil, something you do to eat, obtain shelter, and meet your car
payments. “Work,” as Oscar Wilde wrote, “is the refuge of people who have noth-
ing better to do.”
A hundred and fifty years ago, in his Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx foretold
a grim capitalist society where the exploited masses toiled at demeaning jobs as
appendages to an inhumane, profit-motivated system. He predicted the marginal-
ization of artisans and craftspeople who plied their trades in the tradition of their
parents and their parents’ parents. A few decades later, Frederick Taylor, the man-
agement guru of his time, helped make Marx’s fears a reality by championing what
he called scientific management. Using time-motion studies to make workers as
fast and efficient as machines, he promoted conditions similar to those Charlie
Chaplin was subjected to in Modern Times, making workplaces harsh and imper-
sonal. According to Taylor, “one of the very first requirements for a man who is
fit to handle pig iron as a regular occupation is that he shall be so stupid and so
phlegmatic that he more nearly resembles in his mental make-up the ox than any
other type.”
It is rare today to find jobs where stupidity and brute strength are prized to
such an extent, yet elements of Taylorism survive. For millions of white-collar
workers, the Information Age has put a new face on Marx’s dystopia: Instead of
forging iron and steel, they process words and crunch numbers at PC worksta-
tions, helping to make Bill Gates one of the richest men in the world.While less
physically strenuous than shoveling pig iron, this kind of work can be just as harsh,
impersonal, and unsatisfying.As J. P. Getty noted,“Going to work for a large com-
pany is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train
going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?”
viii
P R E F A C E
Nice Job! rejected convention and celebrates the creative ways that indepen-
dent-minded people have carved out alternative occupations for themselves. It is
about smokejumpers who parachute into forest fires and holistic veterinarians who
perform chiropractic medicine on elephants; it is about cryonicists who freeze dead
people in the belief that doctors of the future will be able to thaw them out and
revive them; it is about blimp pilots who glide slowly above the fray, smiling down
as people wave up at them wishing that they, too, were floating serenely in the
gondola of a blimp.
It is about having fun at work.
We hope you find their stories as inspiring as we do.
P P P
This book arose from a simple, annoying question: “So what are you going to do
when you graduate?” It’s a question that college seniors hear ad nauseam. One
senior’s response was to reset his stopwatch and tell the person how long it had
been since the last time he was asked the same thing. Nice Job!, written by a team
of recent college grads, was originally intended as a humorous response to this god-
awful question, providing silly, bizarre, interesting—and thoroughly researched—
answers for your busybody uncle or neighbor who asks too many questions.
In the course of working on the humor book, we realized that so-called
career guidance books on the market today are depressingly vapid. These stale
books repackage the same earnest and mind-numbingly banal advice: Don’t for-
get to wear socks to your interview, be sure to show up on time for your first
day of work, get a high-tech degree, etc. In our opinion, job-seekers don’t need
more information on which sectors of the economy will be booming in the
twenty-first century or how to study to become a CPA at night or any other
such “practical” career advice. We heard the forlorn career shelf crying out for
some original thinking.
And so a few former writers and editors from Let’s Go Travel Guides got
together to write a new kind of career guidebook, one that was fun and useful.We
then recruited friends and colleagues to contribute ideas and profiles to this book.
Will you use this book to become an executioner? A sports mascot? A rodeo
clown? Probably not. Our mission in writing this book is not to lead you to jobs,
but to broaden your perspective, to help you start thinking outside the box, and
to inject some creativity and nonconformist thinking into the process of choos-
ing a career path. At the same time, we have undertaken painstaking research to
ix
