Mindful Coaching: How Mindfulness Can Transform Coaching Practice

281 Pages·2013·3.22 MB·English

by  Liz Hall

i
Mindful
Coaching
Icon
to come
How mindfulness
can transform
coaching practice
Liz Hall
Koganpage
ii
Publisher’s note
Every possible effort has been made to ensure that the information contained in this book
is accurate at the time of going to press, and the publishers and author cannot accept
responsibility for any errors or omissions, however caused. No responsibility for loss or damage
occasioned to any person acting, or refraining from action, as a result of the material in this
publication can be accepted by the editor, the publisher or the author.
First published in Great Britain and the United States in 2013 by Kogan Page Limited
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review,
as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be re­
produced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing
of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms and
licences issued by the CLA. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside these terms should be sent
to the publishers at the undermentioned addresses:
120 Pentonville Road 1518 Walnut Street, Suite 1100 4737/23 Ansari Road
London N1 9JN Philadelphia PA 19102 Daryaganj
United Kingdom USA New Delhi 110002
www.koganpage.com India
© Liz Hall, 2013
The right of Liz Hall to be identifed as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accord­
ance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
ISBN 978 0 7494 6566 7
E­ISBN 978 0 7494 6567 4
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
CIP data is available.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012046241
Typeset by Graphicraft Limited, Hong Kong
Printed and bound in India by Replika Press Pvt Ltd
iii
Dedication
I dedicate this book to my late beloved father David,
who inspired me with his love of words, his gentleness
and his wonder at what lies within and beyond these
lives of ours; to my wonderfully supportive husband, Ray,
and to our beautiful children Molly, Emma and Dylan
who’ve been so understanding of the times when yet
again I’ve said those words, ‘Not now, I’m working.’
With love and gratitude, always.
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Praise for
Mi n D f u l CoaC h i n g
There’s a lot of buzz around mindfulness at the moment. Liz Hall makes a great
job of explaining what it is and why it’s so fascinating. Especially, she makes
a compelling case for the benefts of mindfulness practice in the coaching
context – both for coaches and their clients. She explains why mindfulness is
something to be practised, not just thought about. This book could change your
coaching practice very much for the better. More importantly, it could actually
change your life.
Michael Chaskalson, mindfulness trainer and coach, author of
The Mindful Workplace
Reading Liz Hall’s Mindful Coaching will fll you with the awe of the French
soldier who frst brushed sand from the Rosetta Stone and knew something
signifcant had just occurred. Liz has integrated three felds; coaching, health
and resilience, and mindfulness to reveal a technique for helping others (and
ourselves) pursue dreams and shared visions. These are the practices that will
also transform teams, organizations and communities. Read this book slowly
to fully grasp its signifcance!
Professor richard Boyatzis, Case Western reserve University, adjunct
Professor of Human resources, esaDe, co-author (with Dan Goleman and
annie McKee) of the international best-seller, Primal leadership, and
co-author with (annie McKee) of the recent Resonant leadership
Contents
Praise for
Mindful Coaching iv
Contents v
Acknowledgements x
Foreword xi
What you will fnd in this book xiv
Introduction 1
Overview 7
Defnitions, origins and relevance to coaching 9
Defning mindfulness 10
Present moment, happy moment 12
A brief orientation to coaching 16
A brief history of mindfulness 21
Not just Buddhist 21
v The impact of mindfulness 25
We can change our spots and learn new tricks 25
Benefts of mindfulness 33
Fundamental principles 39
Presence 41
Defnitions 42
Setting up a practice 47
Curiosity, enquiry and non-judgement 53
Contents CEnuqriuoisriyt y 543
Non-judgement 54
A t t u n e m e n t
and resonance 59
Mirror, mirror 60
Defning attunement 61
Resonance 63
Compassion 67
Compassion in coaching 67
Developing compassion through mindfulness 70
Benefts 73
Acknowledgements x Beitntegr aonudtc doominegs 796
Foreword by Peter Hawkins xi DLeotitningg v geors us b8e4ing? 82
Emotion regulation systems 85
What you will fnd in this book xiv OAcwcenp gtaonaclse? 868
Back to the future 89
Pressing pause 90
Working with mindfulness in coaching and mentoring 91
Developing, suporting
introduction 1 and nSuerstusiroing p trheep acroaatciohn 93
Within the coaching session 97
After the coaching session 102
Introducing mindfulnes
to clients 103
Appropriateness 103
part one Overview 7 MOvaekricnogm tihneg b ruesinsteasns ccea se for m1i0n4dfulness 107
Running mindfulness programmes 107
The FEEL model 109
FEEL: a model for applying mindfulness 109
01 Defnitions, origins and relevance to coaching 9 TChlie nmt oisdseule s 10193
Stress, anxiety, depression and work–life balance 115
The good guy and the bad guy 116
Defning mindfulness 10 AHpopwr osatrcehs sa nafdf eacvtso iudsa nce orien1ta1t6ion 119
Present moment, happy moment 12 HDioswcr empainndcfyu-lbnaessesd c panro hcelspsi ng 1201
A brief orientation to coaching 16 RTheme gedreialt cgoadc hoifn bgu syness 1223
Resilience, happiness and wellbeing 131
Defnitions 131
What makes us resilient? 131
How mindfulness can help 133
02 a brief history of mindfulnes 21 UHnecaeltrhta aintdy ,w elbeing 137 change,
complexity and interconnectedness 143
Uncertainty 143
Not just Buddhist 21 Choamnpgle xaintyd im14pe8rmanence 147
Systems and interconnectedness 151
Working with leaders 157
What makes a leader resonant? 157
Dissonance and burnout 158
03 the impact of mindfulness 25 Mionrde fmulinnedsfsu wl liethadine rlse adership 1m5o9dels 161
Emotional intelligence 167
Ethics 169
We can change our spots and learn new tricks 25 AMcicnodufnutlnabesilsi tayn d ethics 17690
Benefts of mindfulness 33 LCehaadlleernshginpg c h1ar7a3cteristics 172
Desire 174
Tips on using mindfulness to promote ethics 175
Working with emotions 177
Self-awareness 180
Self-management 181
part two Fundamental principles 39 Seolcfi-aels taewemar,e nes and relationship management 184 self-compasion
and self-acceptance 189
Growth in self-criticism 192
Not easy 192
04 Presence 41 RCreecaotmivmityen ded1 9m5indfulness practices 193
Getting out of our own way 196
‘Mistakes’ and mindfulness 196
Defnitions 42 MHeilnpdifnugl omuurs cicli ents be more cre1a9t8ive 198
Setting up a practice 47 CUrseinagti vmei nthdifnuklninegs s with the clie1n9t9 200
Tips for using mindfulnes for creativity
in clients 203
Recommended mindfulness practices 205
M i n d f u l n e s s
05 Curiosity, enquiry and non-judgement 53 and oMtheinr dafpuplnroesasc hine sm ovement 2078
Gestalt 210
Integration 211
Curiosity 53 SOonmtoaltoicgsi cal co2a1c3hing 215
Enquiry 54 Transapcetrisoonnaall acnoaalcyhsins g and ps2y1ch7osynthesis 220
Non-judgement 54 CAcocgenpitaivnec eb eahnadv icooumraml ictomaecnhti nthge rapy 2235
Thinking environment 226
Inner Game 226
The future 229
The Mindfulness in Coaching survey 231
Coaches’ experience of mindfulness 231
Direct benefts for coaches 233
General comments 240
About the survey 241
The future is mindful 243
Trends 246
Conclusion 248
vi Contents
06 attunement and resonance 59
Mirror, mirror 60
Defning attunement 61
Resonance 63
07 Compassion 67
Compassion in coaching 67
Developing compassion through mindfulness 70
Benefts 73
Better outcomes 76
08 Being and doing 79
Doing versus being? 82
Letting go 84
Emotion regulation systems 85
Own goals? 86
Acceptance 88
Back to the future 89
Pressing pause 90
part three W orking with mindfulness in
coaching and mentoring 91
09 Developing, supporting and nurturing the coach 93
Session preparation 93
Within the coaching session 97
After the coaching session 102
10 introducing mindfulness to clients 103
Appropriateness 103
Overcoming resistance 104
Making the business case for mindfulness 107
Running mindfulness programmes 107
11 the feeL model 109
FEEL: a model for applying mindfulness 109
The model 109
Client issues 113
Contents vii
12 stress, anxiety, depression and work–life balance 115
The good guy and the bad guy 116
How stress affects us 116
Approach and avoidance orientation 119
Discrepancy-based processing 120
How mindfulness can help 121
Remedial coaching 122
The great god of busyness 123
13 resilience, happiness and wellbeing 131
Defnitions 131
What makes us resilient? 131
How mindfulness can help 133
Health and wellbeing 137
14 Uncertainty, change, complexity and
interconnectedness 143
Uncertainty 143
Change and impermanence 147
Complexity 148
Systems and interconnectedness 151
15 Working with leaders 157
What makes a leader resonant? 157
Dissonance and burnout 158
More mindful leaders 159
Mindfulness within leadership models 161
Emotional intelligence 167
16 ethics 169
Accountability 169
Mindfulness and ethics 170
Leadership characteristics 172
Challenging 173
Desire 174
Tips on using mindfulness to promote ethics 175
viii Contents
17 Working with emotions 177
Self-awareness 180
Self-management 181
Social awareness and relationship management 184
Self-esteem, self-compassion and self-acceptance 189
Growth in self-criticism 192
Not easy 192
Recommended mindfulness practices 193
18 Creativity 195
Getting out of our own way 196
‘Mistakes’ and mindfulness 196
Mindful music 198
Helping our clients be more creative 198
Creative thinking 199
Using mindfulness with the client 200
Tips for using mindfulness for creativity in clients 203
Recommended mindfulness practices 205
19 Mindfulness and other approaches 207
Mindfulness in movement 208
Gestalt 210
Integration 211
Somatics 213
Ontological coaching 215
Transactional analysis 217
Transpersonal coaching and psychosynthesis 220
Cognitive behavioural coaching 223
Acceptance and commitment therapy 225
Thinking environment 226
Inner Game 226
part four The future 229
20 the Mindfulness in Coaching survey 231
Coaches’ experience of mindfulness 231
Direct benefts for coaches 233
General comments 240
About the survey 241
Contents ix
21 the future is mindful 243
Trends 246
Conclusion 248
References 249
Further reading 257
Index 259