Table Of ContentU.S. $16.00 SEXUALIty
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C
Do you want to know what it takes to make mind-blowing sex part of your aia
gn
regular sexual experience? Here’s just a sampling of what Mind-blowing ea
Sex is holding in between its pages:
M
• How to embrace your eroticism
I
• tips for rethinking desire MIND-
N
• A better understanding of orgasms and what works for you
D
• How to act out your fantasies
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• An overview of the best sex toys and how to choose B
BLOWING
L
O
W
“From sex toys to spanking,
lube to love—and everything in I SEX
between—Cage covers what you need N
to know to have the hottest sex possible.
G
Her inclusive style speaks to
all women who want to learn more
S
about everyone’s favorite subject.” A
—Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor, E
Dirty Girls and X WOMAN’S
Best Sex Writing 2012
A
GUIDE
W
O
M
A
N
’
S
G
U
I
D
E
Cover design by Kimberly Glyder
ISBN 978-1-58005-389-1
Seal Press
Diana Cage
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
Distributed by Publishers Group West
Visit us at www.sealpress.com
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MIND-
BLOWING
SEX
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MIND-
BLOWING
SEX
A
WOMAN’S
GUIDE
Diana Cage
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Mind-Blowing Sex
A Woman’s Guide
Copyright © 2012 by Diana Cage
Published by
Seal Press
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
1700 Fourth Street
Berkeley, California 94710
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission
from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cage, Diana.
Mind-blowing sex : a woman’s guide / Diana Cage.
p. cm.
Summary: “Confidence, health, and self-knowledge are the keys to a happier sex life—and sex expert Diana
Cage is here to teach you how to achieve all three. A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Ecstasy is an inclusive, hands-
on guide to making sex more enjoyable for readers of all sexual orientations. Beginning with a brief historical
overview, the book provides women and their lovers with an expansive view of female sexuality--from where it’s
been to where it’s headed—and takes a contemporary approach to sex, offering direct tips and informed advice
on how to have the best, most gratifying sex possible. Irreverent yet insightful, Cage covers both the emotional
and physical aspects involved in increasing sexual pleasure—including tuning into your sexual fantasies,
overcoming hang-ups, touching and being touched, choosing and introducing toys, and understanding female
anatomy and orgasms. Straight-talking and non-judgmental, A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Ecstasy will help
women—straight and queer—to open their minds, reject stereotypes, educate themselves and their lovers, and
learn how to enjoy sex more than ever before.” —Provided by publisher.
ISBN 978-1-58005-389-1 (pbk.)
1. Sex instruction for women. 2. Sex instruction. I. Title.
HQ46.C34 2012
613.9’6--dc23
2011042048
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Cover design by Kimberly Glyder
Interior design by meganjonesdesign.com
Printed in the United States of America
Distributed by Publishers Group West
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FOr ChArLES
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CONtENtS
INtrODUCtION: WELCOME tO PArADISE • 1
PArt 1: CULtIvAtING SEXUAL ECStASy
1: A SELECtIvE hIStOry OF FEMALE SEXUALIty • 11
2: rEthINkING SEX • 23
3: ALL ABOUt OrGASMS • 37
4: EMBrACING ErOtICISM • 59
5: yOUr BODy • 75
6: CONFIDENCE AND COMMUNICAtION • 97
PArt 2: SEX ESSENtIALS
7: GEttING IN thE MOOD • 113
8: OrAL SEX • 133
9: ECStAtIC tOUCh • 153
10: ENhANCING INtErCOUrSE • 171
PArt 3: EXPLOrING SEX
11: tOyS, LUBE, AND OthEr ACCOUtrEMENtS • 193
12: ACtING OUt FANtASIES • 213
13: SEXUAL hEALth AND SAFEr SEX • 233
WOrkS CItED • 255
ACkNOWLEDGMENtS • 261
ABOUt thE AUthOr • 263
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INtrODUCtION:
WELCOME tO PArADISE
t his is a book about sex. It’s also a book about women, our
bodies, how we use them, how they work, and why they some-
times don’t work the way we’d like them to. It’s a book about
sexuality, eroticism, pornography, desire, arousal, and satiation.
Included in this book is only the tiniest bit of science, because I’m
not a scientist. I’m a bit of a sexologist, if a sexologist is a person
who studies sex. Truthfully, I’m more like a sexual adventurer, a
sex writer, thinker, critic, and philosopher. Mostly I get called a
sexpert, but I’m not sure anyone is ever an expert at sex.
This book is also about love, to a certain degree, in that lov-
ing oneself is a necessary component of mind-blowing sex.
Together we’re going to take a tour of our bodies and our
sexuality. Sexual shame often prevents us from really getting a
good look at ourselves. There is plenty of talk about the wrongs
of sex and the bad parts of sex, and yet there’s very little informa-
tion about empowering sex. Constant negative feedback about
female sexuality affects our ability to explore our desire. Our
sexuality is demeaned, trivialized, controlled. We’re divided into
categories like MILFs, Cougars, and Lolitas. So much meaning is
1
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