Mentoring Across Generations: Partnerships for Positive Youth Development

130 Pages·2000·6.31 MB·English

by  Andrea S. Taylor

Mentoring Across Generations
Partnerships for Positive Youth Development
PREVENTION IN PRAOICE LIBRARY
SERIES EDITOR
Thomas P. Gullotta
Child and Family Agency, New London, Connecticut
ADVISORY BOARD
George W. Albee, University of Vermont
Evvie Becker, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Martin Bloom, University of Connecticut
Emory Cowen, University of Rochester
Roger Weissberg, University of Illinois
Joseph Zins, University of Cindnnatl
BUILDING HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS, FAMILIES, AND COMMUNmES:
Creating Lasting Connections
Ted N. Strader, David A. Collins, and Tim D. Noe
DARE TO BE YOU:
A Systems Approach to the Early Prevention of Problem Behaviors
Jan Miller-Heyl, David MacPhee, and Janet J. Fritz
HIGH-RISK SEXUAL BEHAVIOR:
Interventions with Vulnerable Populations
Evvie Becker, Elizabeth Rankin, and Annette U. Rickel
MENTOR ING ACROSS GENERATIONS:
Partnerships for Positive Youth Development
Andrea S. Taylor and Jeanette Bressler
PROMOTING NONVIOLENCE IN EARLY ADOLESCENCE:
Responding in Peaceful and Positive Ways
Aleta Lynn Meyer, Albert D. Farrell, Wendy Bauers Northup, Eva M. Kung,
and Laura Plybon
REDUCING THE RISKS FOR SUBSTANCE ABUSE:
A Lifespan Approach
Raymond P. Daugherty and Carl Leukefeld
SUCCESSFUL AGING: Strategies for Healthy Living
Waldo C. Klein and Martin Bloom
SUCCESS STORIES AS HARD DATA:
An Introduction to Results Mapping
Barry M. Kibei
TYPE A BEHAVIOR: ITS DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT
Meyer Friedman
Mentoring Across Generations
Partnerships for Positive Youth Development
Andrea S. Taylor
Jeanette Bressler
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Springer Science+Business Media, LLC
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Taylor, Andrea S.
Mentoring across generations: partnerships for positive youth development/ Andrea S.
Taylor, Jeanette Bressler.
p. cm. - (Prevention in practice library)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-306-46413-3 ISBN 978-1-4615-4283-4 (eBook)
DOI 10.1007/978-1-4615-4283-4
1. Youth-Counseling of. 2. Mentoring. 3. Intergenerational relations. 1. Bressler,
Jeanette. II. Title. III. Series.
HVl42l .T36 2000
363.71-dc2l
00-057648
ISBN 978-0-306-46413-3
© 2000 Springer Science+Business Media New York
Originally published by Kluwer Academic / Plenum Publishers, New York in 2000
Softcover reprint of tbe hardcover 1s t edition 2000
AII rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form
or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise,
without written permission from the Publisher
For my mother, Beth Taylor,
Who taught me that success is in the journey
and
For my very first mentor, Dr. Dorothy,
Who treasured my friendship, as I did hers
My deepest appreciation to my most influential and dear mentors:
My parents, Bernard and Teresa Bressler
and
My friends and colleagues, Dr. Peter B. Vaughan and Dr. Erwin A. Carner
Preface
Mentoring-A Brief History
Mentoring has been defined as "a relationship between a more experienced per
son and a younger person which involves mutual caring, commitment and trust"
(Flaxman, Ascher, & Harrington, 1988, p. 2). Mentoring as a method for enhanc
ing personal lives and encouraging career growth is being widely endorsed by
policymakers, service program designers, educators, advocates, and the popular
media. Mentoring relationships, however, have occurred in all cultures through
out history. The word "mentor" has its origins, more than 2700 years ago, in the
name of a relatively minor character in the epic poetry of Ancient Greece. While
the great hero Odysseus is engaged for some 20 years in his legendary adventures,
responsibility for the education of the man's young son is left in the hands of a
dear old family friend, Mentor. It was not until much later (a mere 300 years ago)
that retellings of the old Greek stories focused significant attention on the Mentor
character and the word began to take on its more generalized modem meaning: a
person who provides guidance to someone less experienced. Most people familiar
with the "original" version of Odysseus' story, as it was supposed to have been
told by the famous singer Homer, know it to be as much a tale of setting things
right at home as one of heroic exploits abroad. The narration begins closer to the
end of the legendary events of Odysseus' life than to the start. The opening stan
zas describe the disarray into which the hero's home has fallen during the two
decades of his absence while he is battling with enemies and monsters in distant
lands. Athena, the goddess of wisdom, sets events in motion by paying a visit to
the Odysseus's restless and unfocused son. Seeing that the young man needs mo
tivation as well as instruction to begin the necessary search for his father and his
own true calling, the goddess chooses to make her appearance disguised as the
trusted and beloved old man, Mentor.
While the term "mentor" has its origin in ancient Greek literature, an even
earlier example comes from China (Huang & Lynch, 1995). The mentoring pro-
vII
viII Preface
cess was demonstrated between 2333 and 2177 BC, in the succession procedures
of three Chinese sage kings, Yao, Shun, and Yu:
The passing of the throne by the sovereign to a virtuous and competent
successor was known in early democratic Chinese history as Shan
Jang, which literally means: "the enlightened stepping aside to create
room in the center for the next deserving person to step in and take
charge." (p. xi)
Sage kings stepped aside following a process of teaching, coaching, and
modeling for their successor (p. xi).
Among biblical prophets, Elijah was mentor to his successor Elisha. Elijah
is a dramatic and powerful figure, described in the Hebrew Scripture as some
thing of an activist in fighting idol worship; he "anointed kings and performed
miracles." In First Kings, God instructs Elijah that Elisha is to be his successor.
Elijah gives Elisha his mantle, a garment that carries the power and authority of
the prophet and, in turn, Elisha becomes his student and his caregiver. The power
of the story is the strength of the relationship and the bond that has developed
between two people not related by blood but by friendship and common purpose.
When Elijah is about to die, he says to Elisha, "Ask what I can do for you, before
I am taken from you". Elisha asks only for additional guidance; "I beg you, let a
double portion of your spirit be upon me." He cries for "his father" as Elijah
ascends to heaven. Elisha goes on to continue Elijah's mission of using political
means to end idol worship (Second Kings, 2:8-10).
Mentoring, as a form of training successors, is not limited to royalty and
prophets. The origin of programmatic or planned mentoring had its roots in the
traditions of apprenticeships in which artisans taught their crafts to successive
generations. These were institutionalized in varied fashions in such diverse cul
tures as ancient Babylon and Egypt, early Rome, Europe in the Middle Ages, and
the Renaissance. In 18th century BC Babylon, the laws of Hammurabi required
that artisans pass along their skills to the younger generations. In the craft guilds
of the Middle Ages, assistants lived with their masters, creating a type of family
relationship in which kinship was replaced by apprenticeship. These arrangements,
however, lacked the nurturing quality that has come to be synonymous with
mentoring. The guild system in Europe became quite corrupt and apprenticeships
became difficult to acquire through ordinary means. Often apprentices, who were
always male, were tied to years of servitude and were de facto enslaved.
Over time almost all professions have had mentoring traditions. A particu
larly intriguing example is that of lay midwives, sometimes called "grannies." In
the United States in early colonial times, most medical care was provided by
women in the home. However, in the 1700s with the advent of the use of forceps
during births and the increased professionalism of medical care in general, women's
dominance as medical practitioners ended. Women were excluded from formal
Mentoring-A Brief History ix
medical training as male physicians took over medical care and attended births
(Starr, 1982).
Rural areas and poor women, however, were not as affected by this trend
toward formal medicalization. In 18th- and 19th-century America, women had
large families and among early pioneer women it was not unusual to have be
tween six and ten children. The majority of rural births were attended by granny
midwives. The use oflay midwives to attend childbirth was especially common in
African-American communities, and as late as the 1950s, the majority of African
American babies were delivered by granny midwives. The midwives, who pro
vided guidance and nurturing to the women giving birth, often practiced folk
traditions that were taught informally through apprenticeships to other midwives.
Lay midwives still attend approximately I % of American births.
Mentoring, however, is about more than teaching the next generation of
professionals. Mentoring also is about naturally forming relationships leading to
mutual personal growth. Frameworks for defining these special relationships are
proposed in today's popular literature. Chungliang-AI Huang and Jerry Lynch's
(1995) approach to mutually giving relationships-is based on Taoist principles
from ancient Chinese traditions. The authors call this "Tao mentoring" and rec
ommend it for all types of relationships, including those between co-workers,
teachers and students, family members, and even nations in conflict. The philo
sophical principals of Taoism, a spiritual tradition, are adapted to provide a frame
work for mentoring. The virtues valued by Taoism are the characteristics that
define a meaningful mentoring relationship, described as "individualized, tailored
one-to-one environments for giving and receiving the gift of wisdom" (Huang &
Lynch, 1995, p. xi).
Mentoring is fluid: "According to the Tao, the best relationships are like
water, the ever present Chinese image of flowing transformation." Water ultimately
changes the shape of everything it touches, but is not rigid or unforgiving. Mentor
ing is reciprocal. Described as the "Dancing Wu Ji Mentors;' the mentor and protege
are both teaching and learning: "Neither one is the guru because they each have wis
dom and knowledge which benefit the other." Mentoring is effortless movement.
Mentor and protege follow the natural course provided by life, rather than impos
ing their will on situations. This enables both partners to see mistakes as learning
opportunities instead of obstacles to achievement (Huang & Lynch, 1995, p. xiii).
Huang and Lynch present two sets of virtues of mentoring: virtues of the
heart and of the soul. The virtues of the heart are loving; they include humility,
kindness, integrity, trust, and patience. An example is the virtue of nonjudgment:
there is no place in a mentoring relationship for criticism, belittling, or sarcasm,
which only create an unsafe environment and erode the mentoring bond. Virtues
of the soul are active and enable the mentor to pursue her or his path. Virtues of
the soul include empathy, modeling, guidance, nurturance, interdependence, en
thusiasm for change, and joyful laughter.
x Preface
In their book From Age-ing to Sage-ing, Rabbi Zalman Schacter-Shalomi
and Ronald Miller (1995) describe mentoring as "the art of intergenerational be
stowal by which elders pass on to younger people the living flame of their wis
dom" (p. 189). They pull from a multiple religious and spiritual traditions, as well
as from psychology and history, to suggest that mentoring is a vital method for
older persons to experience spiritual fulfillment at the end of life.
Schacter-Shalomi and Miller (1995) provide a set of guidelines for starting
a mentoring relationship that also emphasize respect, reciprocity, and a natural
flow:
1. Listen with great spaciousness of heart and mind to your mentee's genu
ine concerns before attempting to share your wisdom.
2. Don't impose but evoke your mentee's innate knowing.
3. Don't try to impress your mentee by claiming to be perfect; be your
searching, tentative, very human self instead.
4. Respect and call forth your mentee's uniqueness.
5. Recognize that like everything else under the sun, mentoring has its sea
sons (pp. 200-202).
The reciprocity and mutual respect described by these authors is reflected
in many well-known mentoring relationships in history, literature, politics, and
the arts. The French Impressionist artists ofthe late 19th and early 20th centuries
affectionate! y referred to one of their own as "Pere" (the French word for Papa)
Camille Pis sarro. Pissarro was the oldest Impressionist. Born in 1830 in St. Tho
mas and raised in Antilles, Pissarro came to live in his father's native France at
age 22. Pissarro led the Impressionists as an art teacher, advisor, and persistent
force organizing the Impressionists to exhibit their works and fight the elite status
quo. Pissarro created the legal structure that enabled the Impressionists to hold
their own Paris exhibits and was the only artist to exhibit in all eight Impressionist
shows. However, it was as a mentor that "Pere" Camille Pissarro was particularly
valued by his colleagues. Pissarro's relationship with Paul Cezanne was the most
enduring and mutually influential. In 1872, Cezanne was despondent; he felt bur
dened by his inability to support his family as a working artist in Paris and had
few friends. It was then that Cezanne was invited to visit Pissarro and his family
in the countryside of Pontoise. Cezanne was shy and sensitive; Pissarro sympa
thetic and patient.
Over 10 years the two artists would get together periodically in Pontoise
and work side by side painting local landscapes. Cezanne's use of color became
brighter and his brushstrokes became looser under Pissarro's tutelage. Pis sarro
significantly influenced the way in which Cezanne viewed landscapes (Becks
Malorny, 1995). Furthermore, as mentors stand up for their proteges, Pissarro
defied his contemporaries by advocating that the controversial Cezanne partici-
Mentoring-A Brief History xl
pate in the Impressionists' 1874 exhibit, leading Manet to pull out of the show.
Although his work was panned by critics, participation in the exhibit boosted
Cezanne's vulnerable spirit.
As time passed, Cezanne's work became more radical. He and other younger
artists, including Seurat and Signac, influenced the older Pissarro to move away
from Impressionism and experiment with new techniques. Indeed, reciprocity
characterized Pissarro's mentoring. Vaizey (1981) explains that, "when his friend
ships, correspondence, and working relationships are taken into account it is not
always clear who influenced whom ... [Pissarro was] a natural teacher not too
proud to learn from his brilliant friends and colleagues" (p. 61).
Children's literature contains many poignant examples of elder-youth rela
tionships based on mutual admiration, trust, and devotion. A particular favorite is
E. B. White's Charlotte's Web, a charming and deeply touching story of the friend
ship between Charlotte, a spider, and Wilbur, a pig. After having been born the
runt of the litter, Wilbur is saved from the farmer's ax by Fern, a little girl who
nurses and nurtures him until he becomes big enough and strong enough to live in
a barn with the other animals. A sweet and sociable creature, used to attention and
companionship, Wilbur is terribly lonely at the barn. He is befriended by Char
lotte, who spins her web and catches her prey in the comer of the doorway to the
barn cellar. Although Wilbur is distressed by the "bloodthirsty" way she must
survive (trapping and eating flies) he admires her intelligence and ingenuity. She
is the wise and trusted older friend and he the young apprentice. Wilbur, in tum,
makes Charlotte smile. She enjoys his company and appreciates his kind heart. As
summer progresses, Wilbur becomes large and quite handsome, for a pig, and it is
decided by his owners that in the fall he will be slaughtered and sold for bacon, as
is the case with most pigs. Charlotte ultimately saves Wilbur's life in an act of
unparalleled friendship and unconditional love that will never be forgotten. Al
though Charlotte's life comes to an end, as is appropriate for spiders in the fall,
Wilbur repays her love by rescuing her egg sac and returning it to the barn cellar
where succeeding generations of Charlotte's offspring are born, a few always
remaining to live their lives in the spot their mother had inhabited. Wilbur be
comes the mentor and historian, telling Charlotte's daughters and granddaughters
about Charlotte's life and triumph. Once again, the notion that the mentor-friend
benefits equally from the relationship is captured succinctly in a passage in which
Wilbur questions Charlotte about why she has been so generous to him:
"Why did you do all this for me?" he asked. "I don't deserve it. I've
never done anything for you."
"You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a
tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After
all, what's a life anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A
spider's life can't help be something of a mess, with all this trapping