Men After #MeToo: Being an Ally in the Fight Against Sexual Harassment

261 Pages·2022·7.256 MB·English

by  Kenneth Reinicke

Men After
Being an Ally in the Fight
Against Sexual Harassment
Kenneth Reinicke
Men After #MeToo
Kenneth Reinicke
Men After #MeToo
Being an Ally in the Fight Against
Sexual Harassment
Kenneth Reinicke
Department of Social Sciences
and Business
Roskilde University
Roskilde, Denmark
ISBN 978-3-030-96910-3 ISBN 978-3-030-96911-0 (eBook)
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-96911-0
©The Editor(s) (if applicable) andThe Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature
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Contents
1 Introduction 1
1.1 The Point of Departure 4
1.2 Why Focus on Men? 7
1.3 Bad Men or Mad Men? 8
1.4 Men as Allies 10
1.5 The Interview Material 14
1.6 Data Analysis 16
1.7 Overview of the Book 16
References 20
2 The Concept of Sexual Harassment 25
2.1 Basic Definitions 29
2.2 Who Is Violated by Sexual Harassment? 30
2.3 The Consequences of Sexual Harassment 31
2.4 Societal Explanations of Sexual Harassment 32
2.5 Reading AboutWomen’s Experiences 37
2.6 The Crime Paradox 38
2.7 Women’s Reactions 40
2.8 Sexual Harassment Versus Being Flattered 46
v
vi Contents
2.9 Summary 47
References 49
3 The Danish #MeToo Context 55
3.1 The Nordic Countries 55
3.2 Politics of Masculinities in Denmark 57
3.3 The First #MeToo Wave: 2017–2018 60
3.4 The Second #MeToo Wave: 2020 66
3.5 The Debate About the Sexual Assault Law 68
3.6 Summary 72
References 73
4 Why Have Men Not Been Held Responsible? 77
4.1 Hegemonic Masculinity 79
4.2 Men and Gender Equality 81
4.3 Men and Feminism 84
4.4 Men’s Negative Health Outcomes 86
4.5 The Invisibility of Men’s Destructive Behaviour 88
4.6 The Gender-Neutral Approach 90
4.7 Stories from Popular CultureThat Defend Sexual
Harassment 93
4.8 The Man Box 95
4.9 Non-Hegemonic Masculinities 97
4.10 Ethnicity and Violence 99
4.11 Summary 100
References 101
5 Who Perpetrates Sexual Harassment andWhy 107
5.1 Socio-demography 109
5.2 The Social-Psychological Model 109
5.3 Typological Descriptions 111
5.4 Social Bonding 113
5.5 Peer Pressure and Lad Culture 117
5.6 Youth and Rape Culture 119
5.7 The Penetration Norm 125
5.8 Do Men Know When They Violate Someone’s
Boundaries? 128
Contents vii
5.9 When Sexual Harassment Is ‘Allowed’ 130
5.10 When Men Are Exposed to Inappropriate Sexual
Behaviour 133
5.11 Summary 135
References 138
6 Men’s Responses to #MeToo 145
6.1 Positive Reactions 149
6.2 Defensive Reactions 152
6.3 Men’s Overall Responses in Denmark 157
6.4 The Attitude of the Interviewed Men Towards
#MeToo 159
6.5 The Debate Is Important, but… 162
6.6 Has #MeToo Changed Their Views on Sexual
Harassment? 165
6.7 Summary 166
References 167
7 Flirting After #MeToo 171
7.1 Does No Always Mean No? 174
7.2 The Missing Language 176
7.3 The Consent Law 179
7.4 Does Sexual Harassment Have a Statute
of Limitations? 182
7.5 Naming the Perpetrator 183
7.6 Summary 185
References 186
8 Will MenTake a Stand? 189
8.1 The Bystander Approach 191
8.2 Why Do Men Not Challenge Other Men’s Sexist
Attitudes? 193
8.3 Talking to Male Friends About #MeToo 194
8.4 The Challenge of Having to Intervene When
Other Men Sexually Harass Someone 196
8.5 Speaking Publicly About #MeToo and Feminism 201
8.6 How toWalk into ‘New Man’s Land’? 203
viii Contents
8.7 Educational Initiatives 204
8.8 Engaging Boys 205
8.9 It Is Not Just ‘the Bad Boys’ Who Sexually Harass 207
8.10 An Eye Opener 209
8.11 Summary 210
References 213
9 Conclusion 217
References 229
References 233
Index 257
1
Introduction
One summer day five years ago, my wife and I were waiting at a
pedestriancrossinginCopenhagen.Ononesidestoodanelderlywoman
in her mid-70s and on the other a younger woman in her mid-20s with
a stroller. While we were waiting for the green light, a van drove up and
kept close to us. The driver of the car, who was in his mid/late thir-
ties, looked at us and then said to the young woman with the stroller,
‘Coolthatyoulooksogoodwhenyouhavejustgivenbirth.’Theyoung
womandidnotreactandcouldnotevenbebotheredtolookatthedriver
in the car. The elderly woman, on the other hand, who may have been
hard of hearing, leant forward and said, ‘I beg your pardon?’, at which
the man in the car loudly and irritably replied, ‘It’s not you I’m talking
to, old lady.’
Thisratherinsignificantepisodeisnotparticularlycrudecomparedto
themanyotherexamplesofsexualharassmentIshalldiscussinthisbook.
It is nonetheless interesting because it demonstrates a typical reason why
men engage in sexual harassment and how men relate to the reactions
©The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature 1
Switzerland AG 2022
K. Reinicke, Men After #MeToo,
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-96911-0_1
2 K. Reinicke
of victims when they do not reciprocate their comments.1 First, it is
interesting to note the man’s sense of entitlement to even imagine that it
would be all right to comment on the young woman’s body and appear-
ance, as there had been no prior ‘invitation’ or contact between them.
Most likely, he may think that he ‘just’ asserts his right to comment on
her body, defining her as a sexual object (Tuerkheimer, 1997). Second,
it is symptomatic of sexual harassment that if women do not respond to
unwelcome harassment and comments, men tend to become offended,
angry or—as we shall see later—make threats of violence and rape. In
addition, it has been interesting to note people’s reactions when I have
told them about the episode.The reactions have varied from comments
like‘completelyinappropriateandrude’to‘itwasniceofhimtogiveher
a compliment.’
The example shows that there are ongoing discursive struggles over
the meaning of sexual harassment. The perception of what constitutes
sexualharassmentiscontextdependent,andinmanyrespects,thereisno
common understanding of this phenomenon, just as there are no simple
diagnoses.Whatissexualharassmenttoonepersonmaybeseenasfunny
byanotherandinconsequentialbyathird(Fairchild,2010:194).There-
fore, the story of sexual harassment is complicated. Sexual harassment
is both reason for and the consequence of women’s inequality. It is not
alwayseasy tospecify wherecommonlyacceptedbehaviourhasitslimits
and where harassment begins. Power and definitions are linked to each
other in intricate ways.
It is crucial to ask when sexual harassment can be seen as a cultur-
ally acceptable practice related to ‘ordinary’ masculinity, and when it
is culturally defined as harassment and therefore constitutes deviant
behaviour. The boundary between the two is fluid and varies from case
to case and between cultures. If we situate sexual harassment within the
broader context of interpersonal violence, it is important to note that
whereas domestic violence can represent both a form of power and a
source of shame (Hearn, 1998), sexual harassment can be a form of
1When talking about gender in this book, the focus is mainly on cisgender, which means a
person whose gender identity aligns with the sex assigned at birth. When talking about men
and women, the focus is typically on heterosexual men and heterosexual women.