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About Meet the Alexes
Welcome! Please, make yourselves at home! Dungeon Rules are posted over there. You break ’em, and Baron Grimes will break your kneecaps. Piss him off badly enough, and he’ll cave your head in. REALLY piss him off, and he’ll string up your friends and family in front of you as you bleed out to death.Just kidding! He’ll probably just fine you… while knocking you around silly. You know what, just follow the damn rules and don’t piss him off, ‘kay?Anyhow, beds are ten copper per head per night. Complementary meals are served in the dining hall. They’re that way, past the hall reserved for briefing Novice Divers. Ignore the forlorn expressions of misery and despair on their faces. Or don’t–some say their suffering adds to the flavor of the house stew.You can get in touch with Merchant Liszviel if you are looking for amenities outside the dungeon. She’ll be more than happy to accommodate you if you’ve got the coin. She can also help you schedule ‘play diving’ sessions: all the fun and excitement of Dungeon Diving, minus the soul-crushing recognition of your mortal shortcomings!Oh, and I know the Dungeon Rules are over there, but I have to say this upfront: please avoid harming, killing, or forcing yourselves upon myself or the other Alexes in full view of other guests. That happens frequently enough to make some guests feel squeamish. At least talk it out with one of us before getting down to whatever floats your boat.And please disregard any ideas that we Alexes are people or something. We have no souls inside our hollow shells, for we are merely walking piles of meat sculpted by the dungeon to serve as its proxies.Last but not least, please note that you will find Lilin offering their companionship in the lounge area. They’ve been fully vetted by priests and wizards, and you can review the terms of the infernal contract for yourselves. They’ll even be contractually obligated to turn you down if you try selling your souls for a night of unimaginable pleasure!You’ll also find Hell Chickens, Dread Boars, Doom Bovines, Flesh Sacks, and Tentacled Behemoths in the lower levels of the dungeon. If these or anything else offend your delicate sensitivities, then please direct your complaints to the churches of Rihas Justice or Uohr Courage. The other churches will tell you to sod off and that I’m not their problem.Right… house beer, anyone? On the house, of course!
Detailed Information
| Author: | Burt Wrenlaw |
|---|---|
| Publication Year: | 2021 |
| Language: | English |
| File Size: | 1.4 |
| Format: | |
| Price: | FREE |
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