Mama Makes Up Her Mind: And Other Dangers of Southern Living

236 Pages·2009·1.1 MB·English

by  Bailey White

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Mama Makes Up Her Mind
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Mama Makes Up Her Mind
AND OTHER DANGERS OF SOUTHERN LIVING
Z
Bailey White
DA CAPO PRESS
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
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Portions of this book have appeared in different form in
Smithsonian, Tropic, Northeast, and other magazines, and have been
heard on National Public Radio’s All Things Considered.
Copyright © 1993 by Bailey White
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of
the publisher. Printed in the United States of America. For
information, address Da Capo Press, 11 Cambridge Center,
Cambridge, MA 02142.
Set in 12.5-point Garamond MT by the Perseus Books Group
Cataloging-in-Publication data for this book is available from the
Library of Congress.
ISBN: 978-0-306-81802-8
Published by Da Capo Press
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
www.dacapopress.com
Da Capo Press books are available at special discounts for bulk
purchases in the U.S. by corporations, institutions, and other
organizations. For more information, please contact the Special
Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300
Chestnut Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call
[phone], ext. 5000, or e-mail
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Acknowledgments
I would like to thank Daniel Pinkwater and Margaret
Low Smith, and all my kind friends at National Public
Radio, for their support and encouragement.
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Contents
Mama Makes Up Her Mind
Rosey’s 3
Spyglass 6
Turkeys 12
Midnight Cowboy 17
Porsche 19
Instant Care 22
Bicyclists 25
Birth of the Blues 28
Something Like a Husband 31
Camping 36
Dead on the Road 39
Nonrepresentational Art 41
The Bed 45
vii
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viii | Contents
Family Ghosts
The Monkeys Not Seen 51
The Inn 53
The Devil’s Hoofprints 59
Bluebirds 64
Good Housekeeping 66
Summer Afternoon 77
Joe King 81
Sleep and Prayer 87
Alligator 90
Finger 93
Scary Movies 97
Mama’s Memoirs 100
Memorizing Trollope 104
Distillates 108
Madness through Mirrors 112
The Lips of a Stranger 116
Zone 9
A Scourge of Swans 123
Rattlesnake Belt 126
County Fair 129
Flying Saucer 132
Campaign Promises 135
Leave-taking 138
An Interesting Life 141
Semen and Daffodils 144
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Contents { ix
Teaching Luther to Cook 147
Buzzard 153
Homecoming 155
Gardening 157
The Imagination Game
Maritime Disasters 165
Grandparents’ Day 169
Fireman for Life 173
The Dance of the Chicken Feet 178
Cultural Center 183
Mortality 188
One-Eared Intellectual 193
Christmas Party 196
Maine 200
Used Cars 204
Snake Show 210
Jeanne d’Arc 213
Micanopy 216
Finding Myself 223