Macintosh ... the naked truth

228 Pages·2002·7.65 MB·English

by  Kelby

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The Naked Truth
An irreverent, off-the-wall, PC-slammin', totally biased look at
what it's like to be a Macintosh user in a Windows®-dominated world.
SCOTT KELBY
BU0
fliers\
"Scott Kelby nails the joys and frustrations of being a Mac user
in a PC world (though Scott's writing isn't always 'PC'). You'll laugh,
you'll cry, you'll shout, ~men.' But you'll always be entertained
-and know you're in the company ofa kindred spirit."
DENNIS SELLERS
MacCentral.com
"My three favorite writers about the Macintosh experience are
Guy Kawasaki, Andy Ihnatko, and Scott Kelby. Scott has the unusual
ability to channel his excitement and frustration into humor and
clarity that makes me laugh while he makes me think."
JAY NELSON
Editor & Publisher, Design Tools Monthly
"Filled with insightful wit and outrageous comedy, Macintosh ... The Naked Truth
will have you in stitches. A must-read for any Macintosh enthusiast."
STAN FLACK
President/Publisher, MacMinute.com
"This is a book all Mac users should read! Scott speaks up for the average
Mac user and says publicly what we've all said privately. It's a great read!"
SHAWN KING
The Mac Show Live
"A fun read I'm sure all Mac users can relate to. I laughed out loud thinking
'yeah, that happened to me too.' Ify ou own a Mac, you should read this book."
KURT CHRISTENSEN
Version Tracker
"Kelby is one sick puppy. I loved it/ Ify ou're a Mac fan, put
Macintosh ..• The Naked 'Ii'uth on your 'must-read' list."
BOB "DR. MAC" LEVITUS
Best-selling author of Dr. Mac: The OS X Files and
Mac OS X For Dummies (and a rabid Mac fan for more than 15 years).
"• •• had me laughing out loud and crying real tears. This is a
must-have book for any Mac veteran and is not for the faint of heart."
TERRY WHITE
President & Founder MacGroup-Detroit
Macintosh ...
The Naked Truth
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Scott Kelby
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Macintos.;• •• The naked trutlh
The"Naked PUBLISHED BY
Truth"Team: New Riders Publishing
Copyright© 2002 by New Riders Publishing
EDITOR
Richard Theriault FIRST EDITION: March 2002
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced
PRODUCTION EDITOR
or transmitted in any form, by any means, electronic or
Chris Main
mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any
information storage and retrieval system, without written
COPY EDITOR permission from the publisher, except for inclusion of brief
Barbara Thompson quotations in a review.
TYPE TWEAKING International Standard Book Number: 0-7357-1284-0
Dave Damstra Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2002100322
COVER DESIGN 06 OS 04 03 02 7 6 5 4
Felix Nelson Interpretation ofthe printing code: The rightmost double
digit number is the year of the book's printing; the rightmost
SITE DESIGN single-digit number is the number of the book's printing. For
Stacy Behan example, the printing code 02-1 shows that the first printing
of the book occurred in 2002.
Composed in Helvetica Black and Minion by KW Media Group
The New Riders Printed in the United States of America
Team:
Trademarks
All terms mentioned in this book that are known to be
PUBLISHER
trademarks or service marks have been appropriately
David Dwyer
capitalized. New Riders Publishing cannot attest to the
accuracy of this information. Use of a term in the book
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER
should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any
Stephanie Wall
trademark or service mark.
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Macintosh, iBook, iMovie, iPod, IP hoto, PowerBook, PowerMac,
Steve Weiss Studio Display, and Quicklime are all registered trademarks
of Apple Computer, Inc.
MANAGING EDITOR Windows is a registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation.
Sarah Kearns
All brand names and product names used in this book
PRODUCTION are tradenames, service marks, trademarks, or registered
Jeff Bredenstelner trademarks of their respective owners.
Warning and Disclaimer
PROOFREADER This book Is designed to provide information for Apple
Lisa Stumpf Macintosh users. Every effort has been made to make
this book as complete and as accurate as possible, but
no warranty of fitness is implied.
lv
For Kalebra.
I just can't imagine
loving anyon_e but h~r.
v
Table of contents
INTRODUCTION
Not just naked. Buck naked!
CHAPTER 1 9
Life after switching to Macintosh
Using a Mac is easy; being a Mac user sometimes isn't.
CHAPTER2 27
"I can't believe you actually use a Macintosh!"
and other stupid things PC users say
Congress should rethink giving PC users freedom of speech.
CHAPTER3 43
Things Apple doesn't tell you
about owning a Macintosh
Since Apple's not going to tell you, dontchathink somebody should?
CHAPTER4 57
The definitive platform test
Find out ify ou're really a Mac person, or just a PC person in
cool clothing.
CHAPTERS 73
How to resist the overwhelming temptation
to strangle Apple's management
Is "Apple Management" an oxymoron? And is "oxymoron" actually
a synonym for a pimple cream for really dumb people?
vi
CHAPTER6 105
CompUSA: Your own private hell
Tips for surviving the visualization of Apple's place in the world.
CHAPTER? 119
Why PC users need Apple
Here's why they should be kissing Apple's butt (instead of Microsoft's).
CHAPTERS 131
"Don't pick fights with people who
buy ink by the barrel"
PC users write me nasty letters, and I give them the public flogging
they so richly deserve.
CHAPTER9 153
Pot shots at Microsoft, the media,
and anything else that gets in our way
Nobody gets out of here alive!
CHAPTER 10 187
The 20 most important things I've learned about
being a Mac user
There were actually 22 things, but that made for a really clunky
chapter title.
CHAPTER 11 205
The secret of Macintosh
Here's a hint: It's not Apple's advertising.
vii
About the author
Scott is Editor-in-Chief of Mac Design Magazine, the
graphics magazine for Macintosh users, and Photoshop
User magazine, the Adobe® Photoshop®" How-to"
magazine. Scott is co-founder of Mac Today magazine,
and has been a contributing editor and columnist to
several Mac Web sites, including MacCentral.com.
He is president of the National Association of
Scott Kelby
Photoshop Professionals (NAPP), the worldwide
trade association for Adobe Photoshop users, and is President ofKW Media
Group, Inc., a Florida-based software education and publishing firm.
Author of the best-selling books Photoshop 6 Down & Dirty Tricks and
Photoshop 6 Photo-Retouching Secrets, Scott is also co-author of Photoshop 6
Killer Tips, all from New Riders Publishing.
He's a contributing author to the books Maclopedia, the Ultimate
Reference on Everything Macintosh from Hayden Books; Photoshop 6 Effects
Magic from New Riders; and Adobe Web Design and Publishing Unleashed
from Sams.net Publishing.
Scott is training Director for the Adobe Photoshop Seminar Tour,
Technical Chair for PhotoshopWorld, and is a speaker at graphics trade
shows and events around the world, including Macworld Expo. He is also
featured in a series of Photoshop, Illustrator, and Web design video training
tapes and has been training Macintosh graphics professionals around the
world since 1993.
Scott lives in the Tampa Bay area of Florida with his wife Kale bra
and his 5-year-old son Jordan. For more background info on him, visit
www.scottkelby.com.
ix
Acknowledgments
Pe rhaps the greatest gift I've been blessed with is to be surrounded by
such talented, amazing, and absolutely wonderful people, without
whom this book would not have been possible.
First, I'd like to thank my amazing wife Kale bra. Her limitless energy is
only matched by her beauty; her genuine enthusiasm for life is only
matched by her heart. She always knows just what to say, and just when
to say it, and her wit and marvelous sense of humor have made these past
14 years an absolute pleasure. To me, she is proof without a doubt that
fairy tales do come true.
I'm particularly delighted to acknowledge the book's editor (and my
good friend of many years) Richard Theriault. Dick was my first full-time
editor at Mac Today magazine, and anything that was good in it, he had a
hand in. Dick retired a few years back to play with his grandchildren, so it
took a bit of coaxing (and lightly veiled threats of physical violence) to get
him to take this project on, but I wasn't going to have it any other way.
Dick is a first-class wordsmith, a true gentleman, and a Macintosh fanatic
to the core. It's an honor and privilege to have him edit this book.
I want to thank my creative team who worked at a "ludicrous speed:'
including my creative director Felix Nelson, for pulling yet another rabbit
out of his hat. To my Production Editor Chris Main, for doing all the
thankless work and for his excellent suggestions along the way. To Barbara
Thompson for putting a magnifying glass on the text, and to Dave Damstra,
for once again "Damstracizing" the pages into a very "cleanly" state. To my
assistant Gina "Yo Gina" Profitt, for keeping a lot of plates in the air while
I was writing this book. To Stacy Behan, who doesn't know it yet, but
will be doing a wonderful job on the book's Web site, and to everyone at
KW Media Group for defining what teamwork is all about.
Thanks to my business partner and friend Jim Workman, who encour
aged me to write this book, and whose uncanny memory helped with some
of the research. Also thanks to Dave Gales, who helped come up with the
name for the book and broke a writer's logjam that got the project off the
ground. Also, thanks to Dave Moser for all his help, guidance, and enthusi
asm for the project.
X
I want to thank all my Mac friends, whose ideas, rantings, jokes, and
joys had a very profound effect on this book, including Rod "Mac Daddy"
Harlan, Bill Carroll, Don Wiggins, Jim Patterson, Jim Goodman, Jeff
Hemmel, Dianne Coman, Terry "T-hone'' White, Don Crabb, Geoff
Harriman, Rye Livingston, Bill Lindsay, John Graden, Mike O'Berry, John
Couch, Larry Becker, Ed Pace, and thanks to Guy Kawasaki for bringing
out the Mac evangelist in all of us. Also, a special thanks to Lesa Snider for
"beta" testing the early stages of this book.
The wonderful publishing team at New Riders deserves special credit, and
in particular Steve Weiss. He had to pitch this Mac book to a boardroom of
PC-using editors. Although he never let on, I'm sure they weren't like "Great!
A book that makes fun of us!" yet he was able to overcome all of that and
convince them to take a leap of faith and publish a computer book that isn't
about how to use a computer. It takes a special company to do that, and I'm
indebted to both Steve and David Dwyer for having the courage and vision
to take a chance on a book "for the rest of us."
A special thanks goes to my son Jordan (my little buddy) who would see
me writing and always ask "Can I work with you, Daddy?" His version of
work is my stopping writing, launching Photoshop, and drawing the Iron
Giant robot for him-but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I want to thank my father for teaching me the value of honesty, for
teaching me how to say "I'm sorry;' for always showing his love and affection
for me, and for always letting me know how proud he is of my accomplish
ments. He'll never know the positive impact he's had on my life and how
much of his faith, love, and caring will be passed on to his grandson, and
how much better a person my son will be for it. Thank you, Dad.
I want to thank my brother Jeff, for being the brother I always looked up
to, and always will. This is very, very hard for me, but I also want to thank
my mom Amelia. It's so hard because she passed away five years ago, and I
still miss her terribly. She was more like a best friend than a mother, but as a
mother, she was everything you'd ever hope a mom would be. She never ever
used a computer, but she was a Macintosh person if ever there was one.
Most of all, I want to thank God for the opportunity to be able to write
this book; for the work He has done in my life, and continues to do. For
always being there when I need Him, and for blessing me with such a
wonderful family, and a life I truly love. •
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