Table Of Contentquick reference guide
Readings Pause and Reflect
Artificial (un)Intelligence and Communication How Personal Are Your Facebook Relationships? 15
(in)Competence 23
How Do You Use Social Media? 58
Virtually Separated 40 Your Self-Esteem 64
Social Networking, Survival, and Healing 46 “Ego Boosters” and “Ego Busters” 68
Alone Together 49 Your Many Identities 79
Talking with Little Girls 73 Managing Your Professional Identity 85
What I Instagrammed versus What Was Really Building a Johari Window 88
Happening, Or, My Entire Life Is a Lie 83 Your Perceptual Schema 107
At Facebook, Creating Empathy 127 Role Reversal 119
Introverts: Thoughtful, Not Shy 142 Recognizing Your Emotions 145
Critic’s Math 166 Talking to Yourself 164
Finding the Words to Talk About Disability 187 How Irrational Are You? 169
Your Linguistic Rules 186
Language and Heritage 207
Conjugating “Irregular Verbs” 194
The Eyes Have It 228
Exploring Gender Differences in Communication 202
The Way You Talk Can Hurt You? 232
Body Language 221
Texting to Save Lives 258
The Rules of Touch 234
How to Help . . . and Not Help 268
Distance Makes a Difference 238
Relfies: Good for You and Your Relationships 298
Listening Breakdowns 251
When Friends Get in the Way 336
Speaking and Listening with a “Talking Stick” 256
How to Fall in Love 341
When Advising Does and Doesn’t Work 271
Learning the Languages of Love 345 What Would You Say? 272
An Unlikely Friendship 356 Your Relational Stage 290
Software Tackles Roommate Conflicts 394 Your Dialectical Tensions 296
Maintaining Your Relationships 305
Your Relational Transgressions 308
On the Job
Your IQ (Intimacy Quotient) 319
Communication and Career Success 8
Your Family’s Communication Patterns 329
Making Mediated Meetings Productive 35
Gender and Friendship 334
Managing Your Professional Identity 84
Relational Turning Points 343
Sexual Harassment and Perception 122
Evaluating Communication Climates 359
Emotion Labor in the Workplace 150
Understanding Conflict Styles 399
Swearing in the Workplace 191
Your Conflict Rituals 401
Nonverbal Communication in Job Interviews 227
Listening in the Workplace 246
Skill Builders
How to Repair a Damaged Professional Relationship
306 Stages in Learning Communication Skills 24
Romance in the Workplace 322 Check Your Competence 26
Intellectual Humility at Google 364 Appropriate Self-Disclosure 94
Picking Your Workplace Battles 390 Punctuation Practice 110
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Perception Checking Practice 126 In Real Life
Pillow Talk 135 Appropriate and Inappropriate Self-Disclosure 92
Feelings and Phrases 156 Perception Checking in Everyday Life 125
Rational Thinking 174 The Pillow Method in Action 134
Down-to-Earth Language 183 Guidelines for Emotional Expression 160
Practicing “I” Language 197 Rational Thinking in Action 172
Paraphrasing Practice 265 “I” and “You” Language on the Job 198
Behaviors and Interpretations 367 Recognizing Nonverbal Cues 240
Name the Feeling 368 Paraphrasing on the Job 262
Putting Your Message Together 371 The Assertive Message Format 370
Coping with Criticism 377 Responding Nondefensively to Criticism 378
Win–Win Problem Solving 412
Looking at Diversity
Igor Ristic: Competent Communication around the Ethical Challenges
World 27
Martin Buber’s I and Thou 14
Kevin Schomaker: Forging Relationships with Social
The Ethics of Online Anonymity 55
Media 43
Must We Always Tell the Truth? 98
Lexie Lopez-Mayo: Culture, Gender, and Self-
Disclosure 87 Empathy and the Golden Rule 132
Christa Kilvington: Socioeconomic Stereotyping 115 Aristotle’s Golden Mean 157
Todd Epaloose: A Native American Perspective on Unconditional Positive Regard 274
Emotional Expression 148 Nonviolence: A Legacy of Principled Effectiveness 376
Pilar Bernal de Pheils: Speaking the Patient’s Dirty Fighting with Crazymakers 393
Language 204
Annie Donnellon: Blindness and Nonverbal Cues 230
Austin Lee: Culture and Listening Responses 250
Rakhi Singh and Rajesh Punn: A Modern Arranged
Marriage 284
Scott Johnson: Multicultural Families and
Communication Challenges 327
Abdel Jalil Elayyadi: Promoting Understanding 365
James Corney: Searching for Accord in Troubled
Times 405
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Looking out
Looking in
FiFteenth edition
Ronald B. Adler Russell F. Proctor II
Santa Barbara City College Northern Kentucky University
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Australia • EBdirtaorziaill r e•v iMewe hxasi cdoee m• eSd ithnagt aanpy osurpepr e•s sUedn ciotnetednt Kdoiens gnodt ommate r•ia Ullyn afifteectd th Se tovaetraells learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
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Looking Out Looking In: Fifteenth Edition © 2017, 2014, 2011 Cengage Learning
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To
Neil Towne
whose legacy continues in these pages.
Printed in the United States of America
Print Number: 01 Print Year: 2015
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Editorial review has deemed that any suppressed content does not materially affect the overall learning experience. Cengage Learning reserves the right to remove additional content at any time if subsequent rights restrictions require it.
brief contents
Chapter 1 A First Look at Interpersonal Communication 3
PaRT I Looking In
Chapter 2 Interpersonal Communication and Social Media 33
Chapter 3 Communication and Identity: Creating and Presenting the
Self 61
Chapter 4 Perception : What You See Is What You Get 103
Chapter 5 Emotions: Feeling, Thinking, and Communicating 139
PaRT II Looking Out
Chapter 6 Language: Barrier and Bridge 177
Chapter 7 Nonverbal Communication: Messages beyond Words 211
Chapter 8 Listening: More Than Meets the Ear 243
PaRT III Looking at Relational Dynamics
Chapter 9 Communication and Relational Dynamics 277
Chapter 10 Interpersonal Communication in Close Relationships 311
Chapter 11 Improving Communication Climates 345
Chapter 12 Managing Interpersonal Conflicts 379
iii
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contents
Preface x
About the Authors 1
1
A FIRST LOOK AT INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION 3
Why We Communicate 5
Physical Needs 5
Identity Needs 6
Social Needs 6
Practical Goals 7
The Process of Communication 8
A Linear View 9
A Transactional View 10
Interpersonal and Impersonal Communication 13
Communication Principles and Misconceptions 16
Communication Principles 16
Communication Misconceptions 18
What Makes an Effective Communicator? 19
Communication Competence Defined 20
Characteristics of Competent Communicators 21
Competence in Intercultural Communication 26
Summary 30
Key Terms 31
Part I Looking In
2
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND
SOCIAL MEDIA 33
Mediated versus Face-to-Face Communication 34
Similarities between Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication 35
Differences between Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication 36
Consequences of Mediated Communication 38
Benefits and Drawbacks of Mediated Communication 41
Benefits of Mediated Communication 41
Drawbacks of Mediated Communication 45
Influences on Mediated Communication 51
Gender 51
Age 53
Competence in Social Media 54
Fostering Positive Relationships 54
Protecting Yourself 55
Summary 59
Key Terms 59
iv
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CONTENTS v
3
COMMUNICATION AND IDENTITY: CREATING AND PRESENTING THE SELF 61
Communication and the Self 62
Self-Concept and Self-Esteem 62
Biological and Social Roots of the Self 64
Characteristics of the Self-Concept 68
Culture, Gender, and Identity 71
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication 74
Presenting the Self: Communication as Impression Management 76
Public and Private Selves 77
Characteristics of Impression Management 77
Why Manage Impressions? 80
Face-to-Face Impression Management 81
Online Impression Management 82
Impression Management and Honesty 84
Self-Disclosure in Relationships 85
Models of Self-Disclosure 86
Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure 89
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 91
Alternatives to Self-Disclosure 94
Silence 95
Lying 95
Equivocating 96
Hinting 98
The Ethics of Evasion 99
Summary 100
Key Terms 101
4
PERCEPTION: WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET 103
The Perception Process 105
Selection 105
Organization 106
Interpretation 109
Negotiation 111
Influences on Perception 112
Access to Information 113
Physiological Influences 113
Cultural Differences 115
Social Roles 117
Common Tendencies in Perception 120
We Judge Ourselves More Charitably Than We Judge Others 120
We Cling to First Impressions 120
We Assume That Others Are Similar to Us 121
We Are Influenced by Our Expectations 122
We Are Influenced by the Obvious 123
Perception Checking 123
Elements of Perception Checking 123
Perception-Checking Considerations 124
Empathy, Cognitive Complexity, and Communication 126
Empathy 128
Cognitive Complexity 129
Summary 136
Key Terms 137
Copyright 2017 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be copied, scanned, or duplicated, in whole or in part. Due to electronic rights, some third party content may be suppressed from the eBook and/or eChapter(s).
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vi CONTENTS
5
EMOTIONS: FEELING, THINKING, AND COMMUNICATING 139
What Are Emotions? 140
Physiological Factors 141
Nonverbal Reactions 141
Cognitive Interpretations 143
Verbal Expression 144
Influences on Emotional Expression 145
Personality 145
Culture 146
Gender 147
Social Conventions 148
Social Media 149
Emotional Contagion 150
Guidelines for Expressing Emotions 151
Recognize Your Feelings 152
Recognize the Difference between Feeling, Talking, and Acting 153
Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary 153
Share Multiple Feelings 155
Consider When and Where to Express Your Feelings 155
Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings 157
Be Mindful of the Communication Channel 158
Managing Emotions 158
Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions 158
Sources of Debilitative Emotions 159
Irrational Thinking and Debilitative Emotions 164
Minimizing Debilitative Emotions 169
Maximizing Facilitative Emotions 173
Summary 175
Key Terms 175
PaRT II Looking Out
6
LANGUAGE: BARRIER AND BRIDGE 177
Language Is Symbolic 179
Understandings and Misunderstandings 180
Understanding Words: Semantic Rules 180
Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules 183
Understanding Context: Pragmatic Rules 184
The Impact of Language 185
Naming and Identity 186
Affiliation 188
Power and Politeness 189
Disruptive Language 191
The Language of Responsibility 193
Gender and Language 198
Content 198
Reasons for Communicating 200
Conversational Style 200
Nongender Variables 201
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