Table Of ContentLocked Up
for Eating Too Much:
The Diary of a Food
Addict in Rehab
Debbie Danowski, Ph.D.
HAZELDEN®
LOCKED UP
for Eating Too Much
“Here is a work that describes searing pain, sheer hard
work, and astonishing redemption. Debbie Danowski
looks back from the vantage point of thirteen years of
abstinence and relearns the lessons of hitting bottom.
Locked Up for Eating Too Muchbelongs on the bookshelf
of anyone who wants to understand the miracle of
recovery.”
—Jeffrey Cain, Ph.D., Assistant Professor
of English, Sacred Heart University
“It is rare to read something so personal and yet public.
This book will touch those who read it and will result in
recovery for many.”
—Genevieve Hendrix, Ph.D.
“Dr. Danowski’s painfully honest story provides new in-
sight into a problem that many people would like to deny
exists. This book will make any reader stop and think
about the role of food in our culture.”
—D. M. Rosner, author
“Dr. Danowski’s diary is sensitive, compelling, and hope-
ful. Her determination is inspirational; her success is
phenomenal.”
—Christopher O’Hearn, President of
Mission College, Santa Clara, California
“This book is touching and honest. A real eye-opener for
anyone affected by addiction.”
—Mark A. Egmon, President of the Association of
Commercial Producers, Midwest Region
LOCKED UP
for Eating Too Much
Í„
The Diary of a Food Addict in Rehab
Debbie Danowski, Ph.D.
HAZELDEN®
Hazelden
Center City, Minnesota 55012-0176
1-800-328-0094
1-651-213-4590 (Fax)
www.hazelden.org
©2002 by Debbie Danowski
All rights reserved. Published 2002
Printed in the United States of America
No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner
without the written permission of the publisher
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Danowski, Debbie, 1965–
Locked up for eating too much : the diary of a food addict in
rehab / Debbie Danowski.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-56838-793-8 (softcover)
1. Danowski, Debbie, 1965—Diaries. 2. Compulsive eaters—
United States—Diaries. 3. Compulsive eating—Treatment—
Popular works. I. Title.
RC552.C65 D357 2002
616.85'26—dc21
2002068635
06 05 04 03 02 6 5 4 3 2 1
Cover design by Theresa Gedig
Interior design by Ann Sudmeier
Typesetting by Stanton Publication Services, Inc.
Editor’s note
All the stories in this book are based on actual experiences. In some
cases, names and details have been changed to protect the privacy
of the people involved.
Alcoholics Anonymous is a program of recovery from alcohol-
ism only—use of the Twelve Steps and other AA material in connec-
tion with programs and activities which are patterned after AA, but
which address other problems, does not imply otherwise.
The name of the support group referred to in this book has
been withheld to protect the spirit of it.
This book is dedicated to my husband, Fred,
for giving me the courage to relive this experience.
This page intentionally left blank
Acknowledgments
This book would not be possible without the support and
love of my family, friends, and colleagues. While it is im-
possible to name everyone who has contributed to this
endeavor, I will attempt to acknowledge a few: my hus-
band, Fred; my parents, Ann and Andy; my sister and
brother-in-law, Karen and Danny; my niece, Melissa; my
brother and sister-in-law, Mike and Denise; my husband’s
parents, Fred and Marie; my extended family; my friends
Bev Robillard, Dawn Rosner, Mark Egmon, Jennie Hendrix,
Rich Mayo, and Chris O’Hearn. I couldn’t ask for more
supportive and loving people to share my life with. I am
grateful for each and every one of them.
God has blessed me with a wonderfully supportive
working environment at Sacred Heart University, and
every day I feel grateful for those people who accept me
and support my efforts. I was reminded of just how much
my recovery program is ingrained in not only my personal
life but my professional life as well when Sacred Heart’s
president, Anthony J. Cernera, asked me at a recent univer-
sity function if I had the food I needed. Support such as
vii
viii Í Acknowledgments
this is present at every level of the university and though
I will try to identify those who have helped me, I know
that it would be impossible to name everyone: Beverly
Boehmke, Dr. Jeff Cain, Dr. Bunny Calabrese, Dr. Ralph
Corrigan, Dr. David Curtis, Dr. Angela DiPace, Carol
Esposito, Dr. Sally Michlin, Dr. Judy Miller, Teri Natale,
Jocelyn Novella, Dr. Jackie Rinaldi, Dr. Roberta Staples,
Dr. Sylvia Watts, and Dr. Sandy Young. Professionally, I
would also like to thank Robert Galucci and his staff at the
Monroe Public Library for the support they have given me.
Equally as wonderful is the support I receive from
everyone at Hazelden. As a publishing company devoted
to recovery and other mental health issues, Hazelden op-
erates under the same principles that it teaches. Again, I
will attempt to name a few individuals, but there are many
more: Corrine Casanova, whose initial belief in me and
my work marked the beginning of my writing career; Bette
Nowacki, whose skillful editing made a decent manuscript
into an even better one; John Ferdinand; Jody K.; MK
Everts; Cathy Broberg, whose copyediting made my
words come alive; Theresa Gedig for an eye-catching
cover design; and Rachelle Kuehl for all of her hard work
and dedication in organizing the book’s production.
Additionally, the life I have today would not be pos-
sible without those people who continually support me in
my recovery. Though I may never learn many of their last
names, I could not have survived the past twelve years
without them. Heartfelt thanks goes to Elaine, Roger,
Vicki, Kim, Alex, and everyone else who regularly supports
me. And, though I dare not risk naming those people who
shared the summer of 1989 with me, they know who
they are and exactly how important their love and sup-
port were to me even when I didn’t think I needed it.
And finally, there are no words to express my grati-
tude to God for the life and work He has given me.
Prologue
The following pages describe my experience at a food-
addiction treatment center during the summer of 1989.
While there are many aspects of this true story that I am
not proud of, they are the realities of my life and have
contributed to making me the person I am today—a per-
son I am proud to be. It is important to remember that
the events recounted here are based on my experiences
and viewpoints and aren’t presented as facts. Walking
into the treatment center, I was deep into my addiction
and drugged up on sugar and flour. My state of mind
made it impossible for me to see things objectively or
even realistically. Because of this, some of the names and
details about the people who shared my experiences
have been changed to protect their privacy.
An experience such as this is deeply personal and to
invite others to read about it is quite unnerving. Con-
tained within these pages are the deepest, most private
memories of my life. When I first recorded these thoughts,
I never dreamed of sharing them with the world; even
now I hesitate to do so. Yet one of the lessons I learned
1
Description:At age 23, Debbie Danowski was imprisoned by food addiction. Years of stuffing her feelings by ingesting endless quantities of ice cream, potato chips, candy, and burgers left Danowski feeling isolated, inadequate, deceptive, and unlovable. Liberation came only after Danowski enrolled in a six-week
