Life on the Edge: Parenting a Child with ADD ADHD

81 Pages·1998·0.91 MB·English

by  David Spohn

Life On the Edge : Parenting a Child With
title:
ADD/ADHD
author: Spohn, David.
publisher: Hazelden Publishing
isbn10 | asin: 1568382065
print isbn13: 9781568382067
ebook isbn13: 9780585149837
language: English
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder--
subject
Popular works, Child rearing.
publication date: 1998
lcc: RJ506.H9S66 1998eb
ddc: 618.92/8589
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder--
subject:
Popular works, Child rearing.
Page iii
Life on the Edge
Parenting a Child with ADD/ADHD
David Spohn
INFORMATION & EDUCATIONAL SERVICES
Page iv
Hazelden
Center City, Minnesota 55012-0176
1-800-328-0094
1-651-257-1331 (Fax)
www.hazelden.org
©1998 by David Spohn
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America
No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner
without the written permission of the publisher.
02 01 00 99 98 5 4 3 2
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Spohn, David.
Life on the edge: parenting a child with ADD/ADHD / David Spohn.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-56838-206-5
1. Attention-
deficit hyperactivity disorderPopular works. 2. Child rearing.
1. Title.
RJ506.H9S66 1998
618.92'8589dc21 98-24858
CIP
Cover design, interior design, illustrations by David Spohn
Typesetting by Universal Press, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Page v
CONTENTS
Introduction 1
Part 1
Welcome to the Monkey House
"Your Child Has ADD . . ." 7
Your New Vocabulary 9
Your New Friends 11
Mr. Activity and the Shrinking House 13
So, You Thought Your House Was an Investment? 15
Worldly Possessions and the ADD Kid 17
A New Place for the Tools 19
Part 2
Life in the Fast Lane
Looking into Their Eyes 23
The Big Struggle 25
The Ritalin Catch-22 27
Sibling Rivalry 29
Dinnertime 31
Going Out in Public 33

Page vi
Part 3
School Daze
Classrooms in Motion 37
The Wild Ride 39
Homework 42
Gifted Program or Special Ed? 45
Parents as Advocates 46
Part 4
Surviving and Thriving: Coping Skills for Parents and Kids
Triscuit Surfing 53
Contracts 56
Care for the Kid, Care for Yourself 59
The ADD Survival Kit 62
Affirmations for the Kid and the Parents 64
Part 5
You Mean He Might Live to Be an Adult?
Teenagers 69
ADD and Chemical Health 71
Hope for the Future 73
HELP! 77
About the Author 81

Page 1
INTRODUCTION
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
JOHN LENNON
I'll never forget the nightly ritual of rocking our children to sleep.
They were active babies, and by their bedtime, my wife and I were
just as worn out as they were. We would darken the room, the only
lights being the ones that lit the stereo. And holding them firmly,
cheek to cheek, we would gently rock and roll them to sleep, swaying
to songs from John Lennon and Yoko Ono's Double Fantasy album. It
worked pretty well, and by the time the music ended, their churning
bodies had finally surrendered to sleep.
Years later, we still hear these songs now and then on the radio, and
they always take us back to those days. As our kids grew, the words
above, from the song "Beautiful Boy," have become even more
meaningful.
We look at our newborn babies and imagine the greatest of
possibilities. We nourish them with hopes and dreams of a life beyond
what we could achieve for ourselves. But each child's life unfolds in
its own way. Some seem to walk through life with smooth, easy
strides, the wind
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always at their backs. Some are born with severe challenges that are
readily apparent from life's beginning.
For others, childhood gradually becomes more complex, filled with
unseen tangles of roots and barbs that make each step increasingly
difficult. Life becomes a path of contradictions and catch-22s, marked
by failures and frustrations. This is often the life of a child with ADD
or ADHD. As parents of these kids, we alternately curse the barbs,
soothe the wounds they inflict, and blame ourselves and the child for
ending up on such a path. It's not quite what we'd had in mind.
When my wife and I were starting our family, my mother passed
along a saying from her mother: "Each baby brings its own bread." At
the time, I thought it referred to having the money to simply feed a
new child. As a parent of an ADD child, I now see it means much
more. Though distractible, driven by impulse, and often burdened
with other learning or emotional challenges, many kids with ADD
tend not only to be bright, creative thinkers, but often have a
surprising ability to fully understand their condition as well. Along
with that, of course, they usually have an infinite amount of energy.
Just the tools they need!
The most important thing they need now is a circle of support,
including properly equipped parents. This proper equipment includes
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knowledge, energy, patience, and adaptability. Also needed is the
willingness to be a disciplinarian and an informed advocate. It's also
helpful to be able to laugh in the face of chaos. This is equipment that
can be acquired along the way, with a little help and lots of practice.
Be assured that help is available, and the practice is daily! By binding
these elements together with love, we can guide our children through
the maze that is their childhood. This may not be the parenting
experience we asked for, but for some of us, it's the one we got. Our
kids can and do grow up to be healthy, happy people. And when we
filter away all the glitter from those dreams we started with, isn't that
all we really wanted anyway?