Lady and Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life

304 Pages·2015·133.202 MB·English

by  Eric Wareheim, Tim Heidecker

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TIM & ERIC’S ZONE THEORY TM
Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim
NEW YORK BOSTON
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7 EASY STEPS TO ACHIEVE A PERFECT LIFE
(Instantly acquire perfect happiness in seconds)
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Copyright © 2015 by Tim and Eric, Inc.
Cover design by Duke Aber
Cover copyright © 2015 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Book Design by Duke Aber
Additional Artwork by Tak Boroyan
Photography by Rickett & Sones
Additional Writing by Doug Lussenhop and Gregg Turkington
Edited by Ben Greenberg
Editorial Assistant Maddie Caldwell
Production Managed by Megan Gerrity
Production Coordinated by Tom Whatley
Production Assistant Caroline Bader
Proofread by Angelina Krahn
Special Thanks to Daniel Greenberg
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic
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First ebook edition: July 2015
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ISBN 978-1-4555-4544-5
E3
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
1 PART ONE: INTRODUCTIONS 78 FAMILY REUNION SCAM
2 WARNING 84 HOW TO TALK TO YOUR DAD
4 A NOTE TO THE READERS ABOUT THE ZONE THEORY TM
(ABOUT ADVERTS) 85 ZONE FAMILY TREE
6 FOREWORD BY DOCTOR 86 FINDING YOUR ZONE FATHER
JASON BRIP 88 QUIK QUIZ 3
8 A BLESSING FROM FATHER PASST 90 DIVORCING YOUR ZONE FATHER
10 ABOUT THE AUTHORS 94 QUIK QUIZ 4
14 INTRODUCTION— 95 EVEN WE QUESTION
WHAT IS THE ZONE THEORYTM? ZONE THEORY TM
16 IS THIS BOOK RIGHT FOR ME? 97 CROSSWORD PUZZLE
17 QUIK QUIZ 1 98 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES FROM
22 SHOPPING LIST TIM AND ERIC
26 ZONE THEORY TM GENESIS
33 WHO IS BA’HEE 100 BUSINESS
NODARAMOO PRISS DIMMIE? 102 INTRODUCTION TO BUSINESS
38 PART TWO: THE ZONES 103 BUSINESS EXEMPTIONS
40 THE YOU ZONE 104 PRIORITY LIST
(WHAT MATTERS MOST)
44 FRIENDSHIP 106 EASY WAYS TO MAKE
46 INTRODUCTION TO FRIENDSHIP IT RICH! QUICK!!!!
48 WHAT IS A FRIEND 110 ZONE LOAN
ACTIVITY QUIZ 113 EXCITING INVESTMENT
50 FRIENDSHIP ACTIVITIES OPPORTUNITIES
52 NUDE RECREATION 124 THE ZONE-ZONE COMMUNAL
CENTER LOCATIONS THOUGHT-HOUSE
57 OTHER ACTIVITIES 125 Z.Z.C.T.H. FAQ
58 MASKED OR NOT MASKED? 126 QUIK QUIZ 5
60 INSPIRATIONAL CARDS 127 FAQ
62 ENDURING FRIENDSHIPS 130 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES
64 QUIK QUIZ 2 FROM TIM AND ERIC
65 CERTIFICATE OF FRIENDSHIP
66 FRIENDSHIP WORKSHEET 132 LOVE
68 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES 134 INTRODUCTION TO LOVE
FROM TIM AND ERIC 136 FINDING YOUR ZONE WIFE
137 COURTING YOUR ZONE WIFE
70 FAMILY 138 PREPARING AND EXECUTING
72 INTRODUCTION TO FAMILY YOUR ZONE MARRIAGE
74 CONCEPTION REENACTMENT 139 HOW TO EXPRESS YOUR LOVE
EXERCISE 140 BOTTLING AND STORING
76 IDENTIFYING YOUR PROBO (SEMEN)
EXTENDED BIOLOGICAL FAMILY 141 OFFICIAL CLEARANCE LETTER
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143 CHANT 204 HOW TO DESTROY BEES
144 TYPES OF PENISES 206 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES
146 PENIS SAFETY FROM TIM AND ERIC
147 PENIS STENCH
148 SEXUAL POSITIONS TO ENSURE 208 FOOD
A BABY BOY 210 INTRODUCTION TO FOOD
150 QUIK QUIZ 6 210 ZONE THEORY TM FAST
152 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES 211 ZONE THEORY TM DIET
FROM TIM AND ERIC 212 WILEY ALLAIYN WHYTE
217 THE SOUP LIE
154 HEALTH 222 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES
156 INTRODUCTION TO HEALTH FROM TIM AND ERIC
157 WHAT IS DIARRHEA? 224 ZONE SUCCESS STORIES
158 IDENTIFYING YOUR BODY TYPE
160 REMOVING YOUR TUBES 226 PART THREE: ALIGNING
166 HOW DO I GET MY YOUR ZONES
DIARRHEA TALKING? 232 STEPS TO ALIGN YOUR ZONES
169 FITNESS/MAINTENANCE 233 TONED ZONE CERTIFICATE
EXERCISES 234 EVANGELIZE
172 MORE TIPS ON HAVING A 236 LET’S TALK ABOUT HUMAN
SUCCESSFUL BODY SACRIFICE
174 HOW TO SMELL YOURSELF 239 THE PERFECT CRIME
179 HEALTH WORKSHEET 248 A PREVIEW OF YOUR LIFE
180 ZONE SUCCESS STORIES ON ZONE PLANE 8
181 QUIK QUIZ 7 290 VOLUME ONE CONCLUSION
182 PERSONAL TESTIMONIES 291 APPENDIX
FROM TIM AND ERIC 292 THREE SECRET
ZONE THEORY TM RITUALS
184 POEMS 294 SECRET CHAPTER
186 INTRODUCTION TO POEMS 306 BOOK CONTEST
189 MAKING YOUR OWN 310 ADDITIONAL
STARTER POEMS ZONE THEORY TM TERMINOLOGY
190 LEVEL ONE ZONE POEMS 312 FORGETTING THIS BOOK
194 SPOTLIGHT ON PARDURAL BIE 314 AFTERWORD
199 EXPERIMENTAL POEMS/ 315 FINAL BRAIN WEIGHT CHECK-IN
DEVOTIONAL HYMNS
200 SPECIAL GUEST POET
DAVID LIEBE HART
202 POEM ZONE WORKBOOK
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TimAndEricsZon_HCtextF1.indd xii 5/06/15 1 5/06/15 11:15:38 PM