Judged: The Value of Being Misunderstood

265 Pages·2018·6.08 MB·English

by  Ziyad Marar

Judged

Judged
The Value of Being
Misunderstood
By Ziyad Marar
Bloomsbury Academic
An imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
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BLOOMSBURY and the Diana logo are trademarks of Bloomsbury
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First published 2018
© Ziyad Marar, 2018
Ziyad Marar has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as Author of this work.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval
system, without prior permission in writing from the publishers.
No responsibility for loss caused to any individual or organization acting on
or refraining from action as a result of the material in this publication can
be accepted by Bloomsbury or the author.
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: HB: 978-1-4742-9833-9
ePDF: 978-1-4742-9832-2
eBook: 978-1-4742-9834-6
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.
Cover design: Irene Martinez Costa
Cover image: Wall after earthquake © FredFroese / Getty Images
Typeset by Integra Software Services Pvt. Ltd.
For my mother, father, sister and brother
Kathy, Nael, Jayne and Leith Marar
Who came with me, from Beirut to Purley

Contents
Introduction 1
Judging in the digital age 7
A tour of this book 12
1 The social minefield 21
Social pain 22
Shame and guilt 31
Covering up 39
Making an impression 55
2 The right kind of reputation 67
Earning a reputation 71
Nice and in control: the twin peaks of a good reputation 79
Trying to do both 91
‘Heroes’ 97
3 Unreliable judges 107
How we judge – moral tastebuds 111
Judgement in context 124
viii Contents
Moral luck 133
Can we judge fairly? 140
Reserving (or revisiting) judgement 150
4 Breaking free 157
Animals and artists 162
Escaping the potent audience 171
Washing off the human stain 175
5 The last judgement 193
Telling tales 195
Learning from literature 210
Significance 218
Acknowledgments 229
Notes 231
Index 246
Introduction
So, did you judge this book by its cover? Or were you intrigued
by the title? The subtitle? And now you encounter these lines are
you drawn in or put off by this attempt to engage you directly?
It’s complicated now I think of it. As I write, I’m conscious
of different audiences who might want different things and
equally that there is no way to deliver on such a wide range of
expectations.
Are you judging me? There is a quick heat in the question
which is revealing. Implicit in my tone is chagrin and accusation.
‘Don’t be so judgemental’, I’m saying, in a quite judgemental
way. To call someone ‘judgemental’ always seems like a negative
judgement, doesn’t it? After all I wouldn’t say it after a round
of applause, or a compliment. Those more positive appraisals
just don’t have the same impact. When it comes to judgement,
criticism weighs much more heavily than praise.1
Calling you ‘judgemental’ is a defensive move on my part,
an accusation that you are being critical and asks you to