Table Of ContentJoyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life!
Joyful Living is a step-by-step, easy to read recipe that stirs
the soul and awakens the spirit. Amidst the many examples and
touching stories, Pelger asks that you not be passive, but actively
participate to discover yourself, chart your own destiny, and find
joy in your life.
I now realize one of the best ways to relate to my kids on a
non-superficial level; I must open up and share my experiences,
my life, that they might find it within themselves to share theirs.
Ray DeStephen, P.E., president, Schnabel Engineering
…it made me laugh and cry as I considered some of my
own life experiences…Joyful Living is not just a book to be
read, but a book to be worked. In the exercise of completing the
worksheets, in demanding of oneself the truth from within, the
refining process begins.
Mike Sharpe, founder of Suzy’s Soup
Pelger has more guts than I do to admit being “de-pantsed”
in front of 80,000 people. His honesty, bluntness, desire for ex-
cellence, and refreshing humor are invigorating.
John Hess, hog farmer
“Most people don’t know how to transcend the circum-
stances life hands them. This victim mentality is especially preva-
lent today. Joyful Living not only points out that we can choose
our level of joy, but it provides a method for doing it.”
Carl Ginder, director, United Zion Retirement Community
“A very human story, told well, which extends personal ex-
perience into spiritual guidance and fulfillment…quite an accom-
plishment.”
Robert S. Walker, former US Congressman
I’m impressed with Pelger’s deep understanding of the
nitty-gritty of life.
Dr. J. Calvin Wenger
2 Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life!
Joyful Living affords the reader an opportunity to examine
life in a way that will provide a much deeper understanding of
who they are and why they make those moment-to-moment
choices. The real life examples made me feel very connected to
the book.
Dr. Joe Narkiewicz, school principal
A wonderful road map to the difficult journey we take
every day.
Mike Bingeman, CPA
Easy to read and applicable to anyone who desires to work
toward a more joyful life.
Phil Geyer, construction superintendent
We really appreciate Pelger’s unique approach to this mate-
rial… so practical and full of common sense, which sad to say, is
greatly lacking nowadays.
Fran and Leland Paris, directors, Youth with a Mission
Pelger produces a compelling blueprint for our social des-
tiny, our voice of conscience, our raison d’etre for self-
determination and spiritual evolution.
Dr. Mark Mentzer, scientist and musician
An outstanding book that should be read by every member
of the family and then discussed.
Robert Beers, AIA architect
Pelger writes with the seriousness of a scholar, the precision
of an engineer, the lightheartedness of a humorist, and the wis-
dom of a sage.
Paul Brubaker, banker
…a wonderful handbook for self evaluation, it's quite a
resource.
George Rettew, P.E., president, Rettew Associates
Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life! 3
Joyful Living:
Build Yourself a Great Life!
Ned Pelger, P.E.
ATA Publishing Company
Lititz, PA
4 Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life!
ATA Publishing Company
th
507 W. 28 Division Hwy.
Lititz, PA 17543
COPYRIGHT 2000 BY NED PELGER, P.E.
EDITORS: SHARON AND JOHN CHARLES
COVER DESIGN: EVELYN AND BARNEY EPSTEIN
PRINTING: BANG PRINTING CO.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CARD NUMBER: 00-190062
ISBN # 0-9624569-8-5
Additional copies of this publication may be purchased from
ATA Publishing Company. For information, please call toll free
to 888-627-7744 or fax a request to 7l7-626-6222. Also see our
website at www.pelger.com for free software downloads or to
order additional copies.
Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life! 5
Dedication
I dedicate this book to you, the reader. The principles
presented here can change your life. Since many people give me
guidance and love, I want to pass some of that help along to you.
I hope you will enjoy my effort.
6 Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life!
Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life! 7
Acknowledgements
I sat in the office of John and Sharon Charles, discussing
my manuscript. Prior to becoming my editors, they had reviewed
the book and felt the editing would consist of a “light dusting” of
grammatical corrections and word usage improvements. After
four years of writing and many reviews by others, I thought there
couldn’t be too much more to revise. As usual, I was wrong.
After carefully reading the first few chapters, they asked to
meet with me. John leaned back in his chair, looked in my eyes
for several seconds without blinking, and said, “Well, Ned, we
think you should cut about a third to a half of the material from
the book.” I felt sick. Then I thought, “How could I have chosen
such obviously misguided people for my editors?” But I said,
“You’re the experts. Do what you think is best.”
They didn’t cut quite that much, but they did cut plenty and
the book improved substantially. Thank you, John and Sharon,
for your struggles, your guidance and your integrity.
While John and Sharon came into the project near the end,
Evelyn and Barney Epstein critiqued and encouraged me from
the beginning. They helped me stay true to the concept of the
work. We had so many discussions, and contemplated so many
changes. In particular, they designed the cover.
We disagreed on some issues, yet always retained respect
for the beliefs of the other. I’ll always cherish our friendship.
Thank you, Evelyn and Barney, for challenging and encouraging
me in many ways.
To my best friend and wife, Debby…what can I say? You
have been there for 25 years, listening, gently directing, stub-
bornly refusing, whatever it took to move us in the right direc-
tion. I love you more than any words can say.
8 Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life!
Alexey, Anna, and Tessa---we have so much fun together.
Sorry if I embarrass you by sharing some of it here. But, if
you’ve learned nothing else from me, you know that, “it builds
character!” You have taught me so much about relationships and
love. I’m proud of each of you.
I’m blessed to have a large group of friends and family to
look to for guidance and direction. Thank you to the following
people for reviewing manuscripts, providing comments, and en-
couraging me through this long process of writing and rewriting:
Mima Adams, Bob Beers, David Billington, Mike Bingeman,
John Bomberger, John Bonfield, Geneva and Bob Brandt, Mike
Brubaker, Paul Brubaker, Skip Clair, Debby DeBord, Ray De-
Stephen, Jill and Shawn Erb, Gail Funk, Colleen and Phil Geyer,
Carl Ginder, Belinda Graybill, Pam and Terry Griffe, Gene Grif-
fith, Ken Groff, Donna Hammond, Martha and John Hess, Beth
Hibshman, Sarah Holt, Bruce Jackson, Lehman Kaylor, Carol
Kline, Nevin Kraybill, Dan Leaman, Anita Lipkowski, Sharon
and Dennis Martin, Judy and Paul Martin, John Matarazzi, John
May, Mark Mentzer, Joe Narciewicz, Lynn Neidermyer, Patty
Owens, Fran and Leland Paris, Chris and Ed Pelger, Jim Pelger,
George Rettew, Dawn Risser, Shelley and Mike Sharpe, Jeff
Sholly, Jim Singer, Steve Slaby, Bruce Spicer, Cindy Sullivan,
Wendy and Steve Terry, George Travis, Joe Wagman, Bob
Walker, Sally Watkins, Calvin Wenger, Kristen Worley, and, fi-
nally, all the people that have taken my courses and provided
feedback, teaching me as I taught.
Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life! 9
Table of Contents
Getting Started . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Chapter 1 - What Makes You Unique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Chapter 2 - Understanding Who You Are . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Chapter 3 - Understanding & Managing Emotions . . . . . . . . . . 59
Chapter 4 - Your Memories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Chapter 5 - Understanding & Managing Relationships . . . . . . .91
Story - “That Whereby Men Live” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Chapter 6 - Your Ancestors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141
Chapter 7 - Truths & Lies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .153
Story - “How Much Land does a Man Require? . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Chapter 8 - The Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .189
Chapter 9 - Living the Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209
Story - “Where Love Is, There God Is Also” . . . . . . . . . . . . . .219
Chapter 10 - What I Believe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .235
Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 259
10 Joyful Living: Build Yourself a Great Life!
Appendixes
A. Obtaining Blank Worksheets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265
B. List of Worksheets, Tables, and Figures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .266
C. List of Section Headings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .268
D. Your Computer as a Tool for Personal Growth . . . . . . . . . 271
E. References and Suggested Readings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .277
F. Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 281
G. Reader Response Page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 287
H. How to Contact Us . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 288
