It's HITS' Tenth Anniversary Issue!

346 Pages·2017·32.49 MB·English

//,
._
o
.: . .. ".1
.
, -14"y1
.
.
.
1 f
a--
-

Ten Years of Giving You the Finger
RUN FOR COVER
It's HITS' Tenth Anniversary Issue!
_ 11'S
e
},Fá,
'kJ g
1
¢i iT.Ti : 4
mx.t-S ia _. \J
1 rTIf S
" 7's S
-
r
1
"1N 1
I R ' J 11 1'
=_=r [
I j.
Car .
r= -
1 --
n S
S
? 1
-
I #d.
I,L/ . LT , ' >ºsz - z
S
S'I,I/rS ;JIf N/ writs", ' ,s-s v- - f -- - - -`- . //
ii _- . ,_4_,,,,,, =e t,} i. ;r l-_; . ' "s ` 1 & . -r t gi r
/ ° I. r ' r v z `- -_ \ - -111/,
-
# ,I / iI /'CS f' rf° S mr oan, s`1 ;1' _
-
, . H -.- d''- ` } . _
d ®
!`! 7f r 1/f j l_ ;i ~. ;' H "4S_ / il _.._ _ /=_/c /..áa " IA C - w`. ` ' Ll. .r_ L +Y .` _o . i _w
+=1
1
.f ..
c ll_ i` r
i
./z .- sst t. s( -r- r C. ._. , ° -- ,1' y - _r.x - " s 11a _y- /Xi; ' - s
1 .H 0.;,-7. /...7:-', .:V .,1 ,/,
. , ho'
- ,
.
r r
;s.
MI --,_1"'N.,
4 ' i
I
y
SIll
/
; ' ,I
: TS fr; TS',u S ; /, m''S S - P.. , T'S
. -'
'il
' ,
r -
, r+d v ca II n ,-.. _ - 1 ..
,
,.,.j.1. l , , . '
- i
ff o
, r
, ,
`1
- I z.s -- ' . ,q,j 1,-
` 1-' //: i
#//. .a w N1: / -i7 N' ; S I1/ iI 1+ - -
.27.1--S ' V x _ - ,
A
,1
:,i:.
®
'_
.
. .,,
rs -
/ _
rot,
3
... .. K-
yL
A 131
,
. ..
I :,__
rs
A1 / r's F
S H./ f/
11,01; 4' '
T':
'sH/T.s 'T
- 41.
:5r_n4
- f,
.1111, -1
2. F. . f'/ . o .
H/
- I A 0<-.
,41¡' . .
-, -
e ; 7 °
s-. -eoe rr t_w á 1 r -' oa. _ _s ^r= f - _ :y4 -_ _ {` 1
\A.
' nS, 9, !
, Q
sit l-
,)' T °1
k
11 ,-1... ' dl ,_"r
. L-. .
. . 'II
i a
1
.9
^rL 7l
1-55
!-%f -
'°141:
_I
FT
-3"
_ " a, r T.=: .
EIEZEi
,
H/ T
TS
p1
i
we 'ñ `.`.w..
ó
II .i rw. 1111111 WOO na - i'
la=
AK ,I . 1
VI' gr.': ._
, / r r k
'
1 Ir . , ' ' ?
.
,f rs r,001, ` T
I
- e " o/t -rIs-A $ _
:.
x
I 1 ,
.
1 ... ;
- .
-
AO: 41110 `-
A ,1
2
-.
.íJ.íJij':íJíjí.íJEi©i1rJirjE:íJi.;
I7
.y
~
..o..ir. tiuEl 04EAlM.' . - .RTauwtO'rwsnC+ gdisrwo.AnDint, Mnissosrw, 'sa9d =ww..wns ,,e..u.u.oo.ow TEAM. wex
` - ( I
.- a a , _. - . . . ` s --r .
ANN t r '
.F:_ . . . .íJ.-i Ej
..íJI] ííJij .íJ%UM. iEj.ii ...ínuJr, " k.í.1.1J111 jk..-,.I ,.. l SU - -j- .r.ar .+..-i,. ,r. .I í-J _.._j i
- -- m- y, TR- A. FT1 lre - z t-> B; . MET3 _-B rW. E VE33 . I^rC.1 7 rErna-7 leYe i,r .{L. .t I . Re _U U a-.1 .; KILL LL EE- Ri.i B's BOIFe rts-_a»w ~. sAlsD- s-l. -vn Ot:K
- of L - ' - _ A- - -
!.íJ.r ..F.«mi.Fn j i.íJk- ir .í--J--7-..+....irmut... '.-í J+_ aj=.i.v.,s--í Jí-r_ j -.iJ:G71..r ._ í._. .w.J.... JkA:ui.,v. ji í.e.aí..J.ni- í-i- Jr iii.l..E.. _ j .í..J.-ieKI.3iv j
-T-H7A IN.y K 'YaOUi!! SlOi fwtE EK'r RSTL XM_AS ~S7ATS HEETOEBUTs E-un oPE Sw,w-n. E- s. us M.-E TALrf V1AN7.1 3E-A STIES kB.1O.3_yí.O JM1i oH :., NAX MI U: I S COf M .' +N _G JG=IRA M,i;"GM -Y GjLEEI C F O_U rRJ S-C.O-Í R E}
I STL.mIil4rrrlines ..í J/i aoEr Mr. .«..- ... .-Jt,yr. .i.m_j...... ,.... íJirj 1 .íz Jj
_ I. 7 /7 .íJi17- j.íJi] 17 'F.7í J 1 /7 /7 .F7
= .
MACISBACK RAOIOs[2SImON U2WON!u20NE! PL ATOO NEO T. J. ^ THE REAL DEAL SNLKE -A TTACK BIG GUNS BOOM THREE HCLUFs CRLIE21NG1
- Woe r
._ íM(./ FJab ], w7_: eí. -JyI =i-j..-_=1 ..-.- .í , JiE.-.,.. í. - J-j._ ..aí....Jr,. '-°_-r ' 7i k. s _a.- . íJ-e;e.S s.il. ~ílaJr m- ...ínJU1 .i.`a . <. É_i. . .ar.,m f. MJa , ..r-e ruI .p.. 1
I7 /7 /7 /T 17 /7 17 r7
!
I
MURPHV'SLAW COUNTRYC0.IUN HEAT WAVE WHIT NEYSwEEPS LL IS COOL GO FOR THEPOE CB3CAPADE ARISTA'S1$5 MAGIC MICHAEL MCAFI COP COPS
- - 4
r_ .
É- - ! ,o i ,== ,1
war Imam.. ...w..Iv. - +,4+1 111. ....w.u. Abe, aw0 .1. .+r_.w. . I.. .,,., s w .,.., .nrEsa...... nit
á1SA7.M íBAJ S AMBA drLAE7.P4 PARDS LEAAP ' l7aR EáP RlISJE iR<ISEjS árS7O.U íNJDT RACKS1 lraE7u'Sd VERY'BAED]" 4TTEHE .. BíJIG FALLj Jrr7I0 A NAA B /R7E.A GíEJTS!"DIiRT]Y I taETStU/C I STR.I KES, TO]O EPr>O,/Lf Y1: T1H E SEQUE]L
R
I... .
4 `
: OIII.uvi,a
A ...w -a-, wlam UrMwW. m=. ML+ iraiu= m~.~.,..4.2.m um. *M. +....r.m... +..'mea,v. errm,uW .we..ri .--
;TA 4E'.íJs wií J AJ 1 °w-í J iiJ ] í rxkri -.
_L`-."A .I RO]TC.NKOS GORGEOUS GEORGES 1STOC -K. S] ROCK- f'Y=U P S tP lEAI IYII L UE P MIG'HfI F IVE -KING - G`EO -R1 G- , E 1 DOKK EN'S ROKKEN STUFF THIS SMOOTHSALE.ING ONE MORE WEEK -
- _- waFO. 0 T -- \ `,:. .1111!
.íJ ",. . Ir- . .J. ry .My,í -,"JT ,. -c , k.íJ'I..Kt.V] E: ;.íJRETiMmw -s i .IerJ : ir1k1.1 ...11 , , ti=.- a .,u.
I' 'ird"1414-Wi'
DaUM BANDUGLY TIE6'SrT UFF .TOLU.RSD EFORCI.NN ES MgTSEj% ol.lT ' vi00DNCIG. YHT7, D I+C K G'MORNIaNG LOüUT,: _ - N POST MODERN IS ANYONE' G-.R7A MMY GLAM
own s< 1 -
Ij
V
.r-:j . ..... . er .rn`l'nmac lE r ...r...
rJ:¡ .;. I
I - r7- ra. ^ -491- -_ I
:,`,
!-
r ' ' Lc { Y lt,a k_L "I . irsm i
'ar= _ ^- .
$A'a csga:s r c 0iii-s,r- iC RER . r1N _1= E =. r '`1 a .:R _ _%M;P >._< e s a
. '
k -- r
' ` 1CL .W1 .
; , . T
_ .. 11 s r grsGr =j I = j -'':-. e
-- r r N
n do` I
T4,
y
'
J f
.'_ 1
111K4
. .. I I -
Q ,
=a -- r -,,;/, ,_
'
fla S
..r.-
);J f _ . I
s/T'
=
¡Ii i,.' -- ®
_.
' :d., '"%,'A - 1 a '`~4` - rd-` --P - - = , .. f / _-.
,. - -o . H,/ S _ _.-- -- =- .1.2' ,- . y _'y- IJV'` --.
y `ti
Í
/ uo ' á ti ,
, y c 1 --
- F _ ' _ '
© 1I/T1Si11/ __ ..,. ..-.- , rn 1t,.-7 s
f a. oW r(/TS f1/i - :r, L_
. . .- i
.r .' ,-' .- I -- %
IT .
F
z
---
-
t2 S- S f,/f S fr/ rS
"P T if,
$
w .r. .
..i:3_
1 - 1 '
: ,- - +' ---- --_ - . VP-_ t . `1 i
- _ /
i
, I
a_, T ' r,1 T- _.- - .y .--- ;,.. "fÍ 11
- 'I
1 114/ `- ,..., a
f' -
o -,:- .
a- ,....
fii
_
, /,
fl - .
W-í
it 4;
/
-
'$-
Í!,
..
/',, f..r ]R L s fT'F i
Inr- f,I` / . TS- I..t f,, "S -12151' -1 's - I
.,r 7, ,., C
.
c
7!
° - - -r -r-. . i --
, .:-s A fg . r w -- -, 6- 41,
"o
f,r,.oSj
w
1 -
. ,
1
::I - \ij
m .11 m.. "s. . ..... t f/ S IL, á.110-:- T-S T
Of/7-11k,r. ,%
F
-' :.
s
{'
í
141. r
4,r, -.1 -
EMIS
IA I
a w y r '.. H/s
(4. , -
N/ + -_
t
1
z I
<.
l
-4.Jor
!A____.=-
f!"
I
(I `r .
vi
,
i
dG¡
- RI%
g1
_ /4. 1
-
,,
-
- S N
- .
;r.
-
.I ..,...4 '
/ , -s 1
i!!. T_s NI Ts r',r
r . 0 5 , a, ' . , -.
I
-. J 4. i - o- ' , o ;
LAW/.
-;" r. -ca= ----- .. Á `j [ ,, -,,i r. . y/,4tM _
-
:
l rl - 2
S y
_-7).1. , i : 1.' 1 t , °
` -
i i - r ti 2
- - r 1 { ,
S. 4 ` s ! --=1 .-,.. ..- F1
t
..
J ; a
_ . -
i r!C _
v
,
ts
L .
.:
j
...ro
.1ti,";
- 1 . - 1 ,
_ - - ' 1 ;t_ i1 N-t-/ rs_" ¢ °
r f r=_ ..__ 1 _ o :
f - ----W475,
N 0//1,
,
44>
I i /
-=a:,
I __T,r
- rs rs
s H/ H,
-4 .. ) 1 #1:1 7:
41/'!
e
1.%
.
. d __-. -a
_'_
-0-1 t ` '
THE INTRODUCTION
"I could show you all society poisoned by this class of person-a class unknown to the ancients-who, not
being able to find any honest occupation, be it manual labor or service, and unluckily knowing how to read
and write, become the brokers of literature, live on our works, steal our manuscripts, falsify them, and sell them."
Voltaire
"Whaddya mean they're only taking a black and white ad?!!"
Leonard J. Beer, Editor -In -Chief, HITS Magazine
This
magazine was born in 1986 just as America was waltzing through the Reagan era.
For many, it was a time of excitement and opportunity where greedy, talentless lowlifes could freely
exploit and profit from the production of inferior goods and services.
For the gelatinous-spined founders of HITS Magazine, 1986 was the stinkin' motherlode.
And here we are ten years later. Not unlike the brackish inversion layer over the Los Angeles basin, the
Staten Island landfill, or that nasty little cold sore on your upper lip, we've been there for you. And you've
been there for u's.
i,.TJj
Suckers.
,
¿t1
f / Yes folks, for ten years we've grown up together.. We watched many of you evolve
from optimistic, wide-eyed lovers of sweet sonic art into industry powerplayers
with bold new ideas to shoot down, budgets to deny, careers to stall and asses to
cover. It's been downright beautiful.
R
.- (lL, sure, our 4..r, years of publishing m.,., seem .,-,4L,.,4i,- but h.,.. 44,...,'.,.. been
consistent. We suck, you buy ads, we casF your check, wég suck some more. In a
way, it has a tidal rhythm. It's a relationship ever Yanii woulchbe p ud of.
And finally, as much as we hate to 'ncrease the world's suffering, we must inform
you that Decade Two is not likely t bring any improvements in the areas of taste,
humor or editorial judgment. Quite frankly, we're old enough now to know better.
Yes, music weasels, as you hurl this Tenth Ann versary issue toward the nearest
trash bin, remember ten times zero is still zero.
-iere's looking at 11
1
,or O$3
lot%
N>ag
f
Malt f
yor
week, 'o
eo$,er te
30..
¡ta ,
odo
;mat
km),
:L?1%,
tOt5.
you
w:1,v3
6111
atikkick9.
uiqqG AM t'lec i5, Crc. A.11 rights reserved, C) 415- 1,1"/
(EAR ANNIVERSARY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSAR:N YEAR ANNIVERSARYTEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY
1
WE'VE NEVER MET MOREY AMSTERDAM, AND
THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THAT IF WE DID, HE'D
TELL US TO DROP DEAD. NEVERTHELESS, WE'RE
DEDICATING THIS TENTH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE TO
HIM BECAUSE WELL, BECAUSE WE NEEDED
TO CREATE ANOTHER PRIME PAGE POSITION FOR
ONE OF THE MANY OVERPRICED ADS THAT APPEAR
IN THIS MAGAZINE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDER-
STANDING. AND GOD BLESS YOU, MOREY.
AT MCA,
BELIEVE
WE
CHANGE
IS GOOD.
MCA
e
LJ
WAY
fort
apache rasnow COOL
K
TWISTED Entertainment radioactive MUSIC
Unfortunately, Hits Doesn't Make Change.
6Z
A 9236
. 32241-'-L