Interpersonal Communication and You: An Introduction

340 Pages·2014·44.548 MB·English

by  Steven McCornack

Interpersonal Communication
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Tailor-Made for Today’s Students C
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Friendly, practical and engaging, Interpersonal Communication and A
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put interpersonal concepts to use in your own life. Throughout this
introductory text, award-winning instructor and best-selling author
Steven McCornack prompts you to measure concepts against your
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own experience, helping you build essential skills that will improve your n
interpersonal communication. Taking self-assessment a step further, t
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the book’s dedicated version of Bedford/St. Martin’s LaunchPad gives
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Interpersonal
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LearningCurve: These game-like quizzes adapt to what you already know

and help you master the concepts you need to learn. Y
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10 Chapter 1  Introducing Interpersonal Communication
A Focus on Self-Reflection, Skills Development, and Self-Assessment
In contrast, when we focus on our differences,
Interpersonal Communication and You offSeerlfs-r pelfelencttiyon of opportunities for studentresf utsoe taop apccleyp t or even acknowledge rival viewpoints
as legitimate, and communicate in ways that empha-
what they are learning to their own livHeows: do you define interpersonal commu-
size our own supposed superiority over others, the dis-
nication? Can interpersonal communication
tance between us and others becomes impenetrable.
Self-Quizzes help students analyzhea pspterne bnegtwtehesn manorde twhaen atwkon peesosplees? Csaon that they can
As a consequence, we increasingly perceive our rela-
it happen through text or e-mail? Or is it
focus on improving their interpersonal communication. tionships as I-It: we regard other people as “objects
the content of what is discussed that makes
which we observe, that are there for our use and exploi-
communication interpersonal? What types
Self-Reflections invite students to oefx coammmiunneic atthioeni arr eo nwotn in etexrppeersroineanl?c es and letaatironn” t(Bhuebe r, 1965, p. 24). The more we view others as
objects, the greater is the likelihood that we’ll commu-
habit of ongoing self-reflection.
nicate with them in disrespectful, manipulative, or
exploitative ways. When we treat others this way, our
Skills Practices prompt studentsyo tuo s epndu hte tr ha ecosneso slinkgi ltlesx t imnetsosa agec itni tohne m wididtlhe o sf tepr-eblaytio-nsstheipps d eteriorate.
instructions. Chapter 1  Introduchinegr I nwteroperrksodnaaly C.o mYmouuni cdatoionn ’t exp1e7ct her to respond, and she
doesn’t, because she’s busy. There’s no feedback and
no interplay between you and your sister. Instead, Skills practice
test Your Self-Monitoring there is a sender (you), a message (your expression of I-thou communication
Self-Quiz Pthlaec teo taa lc hneucmk bmera orkf snteaxtetm toe nthtse ysotuat cehmseuecknpetpsd oytoor uste )a,e g airfe nyeod wu ’iarteh ra. eT hhcigeehni vocroe ulron w(ty our sister), making it a linear Shifting your communication from I-It to I-Thou
self-monitor. encounter, albeit an interpersonal one.
Third, interpersonal communication is primarily 1. Think of someone you have to interact
I find it easy to imitate others’ behavior. dyadic—it involves pairs of people, or dyads. You chat with regularly, but with whom you have
Wf orh ceune Is’m. uncertain how to act during an interpersonal encouwenxitcetrhh, Ia ylonooguke rto ad o tashue1errg0sih’ e btsee hora fvw iForhas ci Cleehb daoproitkvei rmn 1ge   hsInseatrrg oteods us wccihintogho Ialn, tfoerrire pyneodrus. onal Com2.m a Iudnne iInc-atIittf iyroe ntlhatei oqnusahliitpi.es that cause you to see
I would probably make a good actor. Of course, some interpersonal communication may this person as different from or inferior to
I n different situations and with different people, I often act liikne vveorylv deif fmereontr epe rtshonasn. just two people. For instance, sev- you.
Even if I’m not enjoying myself, I often behave as if I’m havineg raa glo ofda mtimiely. members converse at once during dinner, 3. A nalyze theseIn d icffoenrternacset,s . wAhree nth ewye r efaolcluy s on our differences,
I find it easy to change my behavior to suit different people aondr saitu gatrioonus.p of friSenedlfs- rtaelkfl ewchtiiloen enjoying an evening a cause froerf ucosne cteor na?ccept or even acknowledge rival viewpoints
I sometimes appear to others to be experiencing deeper emotoiounts .t hTanh Ie r edalylya admi.c Hnaotwur de oo fy oinut edrepfeirnseo ninalt ecropmemrsuonniacla -commu-4. Identify saism lielgairtiitmieas tyeo, ua nhda vceo mwimthu tnhiicsa te in ways that empha-
I ’m pretty good at making other people like me. tion allows us tnoi cdaitsitoinng?u Cisahn iitn ftreormpe risnotnraapl ecrosmonmalu nication person. size our own supposed superiority over others, the dis-
I ’m not always the person I appear to be. communication—hacopmpemnu bneitcwateioenn imnvoorelv itnhga no ntwlyo o pneeo ple? Ca5n. Develop ata pnlcaen bfoertw coemenm uusn iacnadti nogt hweirtsh becomes impenetrable.
Note: This Self-Quiz is adapted from the self-monitoring scale provided by Snyderph (1ea97rv4s).ionng ,a i nm tehnet aflo it“rthcm ohen acovpofep nrtestaenalknt ititonh nogro”f ouwinughsth iadl otte eui xsod nt d teoio’srs co ehun-esmeassdeae.dillf ? to hOra rt ims iat kes trhesisp epcetr sdAtoiifnosfe n iarnse h cnwiopcanesyss se aw qsth huIaei-ltnIe ta c:a cepwc, pewepr eetr c eaiigannatdcirnr deg a o stinhgelry ppeeorpcleei vaes o“uorb jreeclats-
.rotinom-fles hgih a er’uoy stseggus 9–5 ;rotinom-fles wFoli an ylabalbloyrp, era’unoy dsce toapcmidenrim h4–0au :pgnnsiiro ccmaStoiosnt iimntpeorprtearnsotlnya, li?n Wtehr-at types and empwhahsicizhi nwge s oimbsielarvrieti, etsh.at are there for our use and exploi-
personal communication creates impact: it changes tation” (Buber, 1965, p. 24). The more we view others as
of communication are not interpersonal?
others’ physical well-being, or that expresses violence is skills you npeeadr ttoic mipeaetn cthsa’l letnhgoesu tgoh ytosu,r ecommpoet-ions, behaviors, and rela- objects, the greater is the likelihood that we’ll commu-
unethical and therefore incompetent (Parks, 1994). tence with ctoinofindesnhceip.s. When we interpersonally communicate, Interpersonnaicl actoem wmituhn itchaetimon icno ndtirsarsetssp eschtafurpl,l ym anipulative, or
To truly be an ethical communicator, however, we
Amien rtsuCe swrtp iutgehors rorbenesrypaolee ncetndn, c asoniutmdn pctoelayrm , nnwmoeut dnndieocei andtCge t owh oasitrthmrim vt.h eDe tmuopr tihnreorgan etee vosetthlhryy-, enIMmuscphir voofv eoiun rwdg Oii nYesto tevafruponreer rcCgsreoeon vt mahml icpaeoetemy atwnmeonanuuitnnc u iseogcrea faOtnufilonl dlny tl i bihansho reeoninersl deian sse Dc fworionismtshoc dloiiinptfhfgele rtireensnx—cte eemsa ebssienstwag getehe nien thewh maitvihde dailm en opefeg lrisgoibnerlaeexll p apltceoiooritcmnaestmihivvieuepd nsw iidcmaaeyttpsieao.r cniWot— rhoaenetxen co. huware nt tghreoesua tgt hohttasht,e rs this way, our
kindly, and positively (Englehardt, 2001). For additional communicaptioeno, porl ea.n Wy inet edraohcnteio’rtn whbyao vmreeka dtnosa ayofg. srYoe-oeu w ditohn e’tv eerxyptehcint gh earn ototh reers ponedm, aontdio snhse, behaviors, and relationships. For example,
Agnuid ealincesc oen esthsicialb colmem uanipcaptionr, orevaiecw hthe “dCrredao wscia lo nentw otrhkpineegr s sibtoense ( ssusctah y aoss fFdaa cocneebdlosa onkds)’,ot se,e- imsbc,ae i lcba, atuenuxtt s-d teo cschuoemt’st mibnuugnsyi-c.e aTtdeh gecreoem ’ss pcneho- ofeleadyrbosauhc’rkie p aw.n ad t ching TV with your partner, and one of
for Ethical Communication” on the following page. or instant-messaging, Skype, chatrooms, and even
TopWice sall lairek ceap aoblen olf icnomepe tsenecel fin- spituraetiosnse nmtaastsiiveolyn mt uealntinptllaydy ewr mointlhine eo dvtnihdioeea or tisgnae, mtwdeeser pl cinkloeae yWem dorb ldtme ot waupenpernioc ayachotu ito haennm dc woyiotmhu rap nse istteenry. ocIuen sc ataesraueda ,l ly commSeknitlsls o pnr aanc taicdevertisement that is
inwawnthed eec roeegnt hisrtii’cssaat elelntayts.el yyT drctuoo emb wecmhoumainvtpeiceh ataetpe np fccreaoo mpimsrpi aedtteeeivlnylet,li loyeap faferecdcr otwaisvsher elaynel,l asocrofa mtWsioaaunnrc cerceansfhat wb(Wosli etaapsah lm eutpshsnee e otr aop m& lamec tPiwetatneereitkd n vwsa ,tn oae2idu0otsn l0 hdfuno2ldne)rpi ’. m tsraO wpee nntfnor elceidiirenolsnc teun )d ronca,set omihea smnsrinpp imeosngedt nuhagc nen da traid-- he rwnree aec(dyr etoe i,vi xunaep)f,ref t oac(eyrt m drofciuonerurgs ss loitatsuhgutreeesmrr e()aly, v tlomeh uscea.r ok eimnxpgas prionetem snasto eileyoi ninncneo gacom.rfe mW.uitnhiicna tISmi-ohtonihfs ttoih nucag ls coy sootehmu irrsm e cloiaummtnipmoicenuarssnthoiioicnpanastl,i oaqntu farleoliamtsy t.I -It to I-Thou
situations that we face, including contexts that are wise, and itA hcelcpos ruds imnagi nttoai nep nehsctialoobulsisnohpetdeh rree, rlaa tMliobnae-ritti nan B iunbteerr p(1e9r6s5o)n, awle o tnhee.n But we can shift to interpersonal at a moment’s
uofn ctherista bino,o cko mis ptloe xa,r amn dy ouun pwleitahs atnhte. Oknneo wofl etdhgee g oaanlds sohuirp sse (nHsoew oafp rcdeo, mrRcameinuiinvei,et &y o (JSouhnreed srl,ee 2tls0ak0yt1 i)T&.o I htnA aisitlrkshedoni ,pb, o2 ilw0ns0t4etit)re.sh r ptherast opnearsl ocno amsm I-tuhnoicua.tion isn portiimcea. rAil yw hile afte1r. t Theh iandk c oofm smomenetoanrye, yyoouu hsnauvgeg tloe interact
dyadic—it involves pairs of people, or dyads. You chat with regularly, but with whom you have
Powwiteh ryfouurl dMauughltteirm wheilde diariv Cinog hnetr eton stch Eoonl, hora ynouc es an I-It relationship.
Leaexrcnhianngge aw seirtiehs oaf nFa cIenbdooikv midesusaagleisz weidth Aa fpriepnrdo. ach 2. Identify the qualities that cause you to see
Of course, some interpersonal communication may this person as different from or inferior to
LaunchPad is a dynamic new platform thaint vcoolvme mboirne ethsa tnh jues ti ntwtoe rpaeocptliev. eFo er -inbsotaonkce w, seitvh- you.
01_MCC_2539_Ch01_002_023.indd 17 eral family me6/2m5/14b 8e:27r PsM converse at once during dinner, 3. A nalyze these differences. Are they really
high-quality multimedia content and activiotri ea sg rtohuap to fg firvieen dims tamlke wdhiialet een fjoeyeindgb aanc ekv.e ning a cause for concern?
Featured in LaunchPad: 01_MCC_2539_Ch01_002_023o.inuddt . 1T0he dyadic nature of interpersonal communica- 4. Identify similarities you have with t6h/25is/1 4 8:27 PM
tion allows us to distinguish it from intrapersonal person.
More than 70 video activities. Cocnonmemcutneidca ttioon e—vceomrym cuhniacaptitoenr ,i ntvholevsineg vonidlye oonse help 5. Develop a plan for communicating with
students see theory in action, andp etrhsoen ,a icnc tohem fopramn oyf itnalgk inreg foluetc ltoiuodn t oq ouneessetlif oonr s this person in ways that accept and
having a mental “conversation” inside one’s head. respect differences while appreciating
help them apply what they see to theFiinra ollwy, nan edx ppeerhraiepsn mceosst. Vimidpoerota antcltyi, vinittieer-s are and emphasizing similarities.
easily assignable and make excellpeenrsto njoalu cronmaml upnriocamtiopnt csr eoart eds iismcpuacst:s iito cnha sntgaesr ters.
participants’ thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and rela-
LearningCurve. This adaptive quiztizoinnshgi ppsr. oWghraenm w pe rionmterppetrss osntaulldy ecnomtsm tuon itceastet, Interpersonal communication contrasts sharply
their knowledge while reinforcing wthe efoirrg ele maeranniinnggf.u Il tbso nrdesp woirtthi notgh etroso—lesa slientg the with impersonal communication—exchanges that
distance that naturally arises from differences between have a negligible perceived impact on our thoughts,
instructors see the results and adappeotp tleh. eWier dtoena’tc hhaivne gto taogr eset wuidthe envte rnyteheindg san. o ther emotions, behaviors, and relationships. For example,
person says and does, but to communicate compe- you’re watching TV with your partner, and one of
tently with others, we need to approach them with an you casually comments on an advertisement that is
See the inside back cover for more information about LaunchPad. For more
open mind and welcoming heart, affording them the annoying. Within most close relationships, at least
information about Interpersonal Communicatsioamn ea antdte nYtoioun, apnlde aressepe vcti swiet e xpect for ourselves. some communication has this impersonal quality.
macmillanhighered.com/ipcandyou/catalogA.ccording to philosopher Martin Buber (1965), we then But we can shift to interpersonal at a moment’s
perceive our relationship with that person as I-thou. notice. A while after the ad commentary, you snuggle
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01_MCC_2539_Ch01_002_023.indd 10 6/25/14 8:27 PM
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Communication and You
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Communication and You
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Interpersonal
Communication and You
A n I n t r o d u c t I o n
Steven McCornack
Michigan State University
Bedford/St. Martin’s
Boston • New York
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Acknowledgments
Test Your Self-Monitoring, p. 17 Copyright © 1974 by the American Psychological Association. Adapted
with permission. Snyder, Mark, “Self-monitoring of expressive behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 1974, Volume 30, Issue 4 (Oct). Adapted with permission.
Figure 1.5 Credo of the National Communication Association, p. 18 The NCA Credo for Ethical Commu-
nication is reprinted with permission from the National Communication Association. All rights reserved.
What Kind of Personality Do You Have?, p. 61 Reprinted with permission from Oliver P. John. Source:
John, O. P., Naumann, L., & Soto, C. J. (2008). Paradigm shift to the integrative Big Five trait taxonomy:
Discovery, measurement, and conceptual issues. In O. P. John, R. W. Robins, & L. A. Pervin (Eds.), Handbook
of personality: Theory and research (3rd ed., pp. 114–158). New York: Guilford.
Figure 5.1 Power-Distance across Countries, p. 103 Geert Hofstede,Gert Jan Hofstede, and Michael
Minkov, “Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind,” 3rd revised edition. McGraw-Hill, 2010 ISBN:
0-07-166418-1. © Geert Hofstede B.V. quoted with permission.
Art acknowledgments and copyrights appear on the same page as the art selections they cover. It is a violation of the
law to reproduce these selections by any means whatsoever without the written permission of the copyright holder.
At the time of publication, all Internet URLs published in this text were found to accurately link to
their intended Web site. If you do find a broken link, please forward the information to
[email protected] so that it can be corrected for the next printing.
00_MCC_2539_FM_i_xxiv.indd 6 16/09/14 4:14 PM
Preface
y goal with each new edition of my inter- Interpersonal Communication and You covers the full
M
personal communication text, Reflect & spectrum of interpersonal communication content
Relate, has been to craft a book that is wel- you expect in a text—including information about in-
coming, friendly, personal, trustworthy, terpersonal essentials, skills, and relationships—but
and practical. A book that spotlights the finest of new zeroes in on self-assessment and self-reflection across
and classic scholarship on social media, interpersonal these topics. Each chapter includes multiple self-
relationships, and communication competence; and assessment quizzes, an enjoyable way for students to
that gives students a clear sense of our field as a do- be drawn deeply and personally into the material
main of scientific endeavor, not just “common sense.” they’ve just learned. The interaction between reader
A book that—perhaps most importantly—doesn’t just and content continues with the book’s media pro-
tell students what to do, but teaches them how to sys- gram: LaunchPad is a powerful (and easy-to-use)
temically reason through the various interpersonal learning platform that includes the adaptive quizzing
communication challenges they face. The resulting program LearningCurve.
success of Reflect & Relate has made me confident Interpersonal communication students need
(and gratified) that due to this text, thousands of stu- to know how the skills and knowledge they learn
dents are now empowered to make wise communica- translate to their lives. Reflect & Relate has gar-
tion decisions. nered much praise for its powerful ability to show
Of course, the process of writing Reflect & Re- students real-world applications, in the form of en-
late has been incredibly instructive to me as well; gaging and relatable examples. Interpersonal Commu-
especially because it has allowed me to receive nication and You offers students the same degree of
feedback from instructors and students regarding real-life connection, in a more concise package. In
what approaches to communication—inside the addition to examples from my experience, the lives
classroom and out—work best for them. As teach- of my students, books, films, current events, and
ers, we realize that there is no one-size-fits-all book history, Interpersonal Communication and You features
for the interpersonal communication course, and Self-Reflection boxes throughout each chapter that
that some students benefit from a more stream- prompt students to consider their own experiences
lined, applied approach. And therein lies the impe- as they relate to culture, technology, and ethics;
tus for Interpersonal Communication and You: the need Skills Practice boxes that offer students steps for ap-
for a book that is every bit as authoritative as Reflect plying new skills; and Self-Quizzes that allow stu-
& Relate, but that focuses even more closely on the dents to test and analyze their own interpersonal
practical information students want and need for communication behavior.
improving their interpersonal communication and Finally, communication students want to succeed
relationships. scholastically in their interpersonal communication
vii
00_MCC_2539_FM_i_xxiv.indd 7 08/09/14 4:26 PM
viii Preface
courses, and Interpersonal Communication and You gives Self-Quiz exercises help students analyze their
them the tools they need to optimize their perfor- strengths and weaknesses so they can focus on
mance. With its program of self-assessment, self- improving their communication.
reflection, and online practice via LaunchPad and
Critical Self-Reflection features invite students to
LearningCurve, the book allows students to interact
examine their own experiences and learn the
and engage with the material and, by emphasizing the
habit of ongoing self-reflection.
application of communication skills, it prepares stu-
dents to excel both in the course and in their real-life Skills Practice activities prompt students to put their
communication. Due to its lower price tag, Interper- skills into action with step-by-step instructions.
sonal Communication and You is also accessible to stu-
dents and instructors seeking an affordable option for
Compelling stories help every student
their classrooms.
connect to the material.
Taken as a whole, the focused yet comprehen-
Drawn from pop culture, current events, and real
sive pedagogy in Interpersonal Communication and You,
life, carefully crafted illustrative examples connect
along with LaunchPad’s resources, will make the in-
students—whether they are conventional undergradu-
terpersonal communication course more manage-
ates, nursing students, returning adults, military vets,
able and easier to understand. I am thrilled that you
or communication majors—to the material.
and your students are using this book, and I hope
that it proves to be an invaluable resource in aiding
your teaching and their learning! Access to LaunchPad, a dynamic and
easy-to-use platform.
LaunchPad makes instructors’ lives easier by put-
Features of Interpersonal
ting everything in one place, combining the full
Communication and You: e-Book with carefully chosen videos, quizzes, ac-
tivities, instructor’s resources, and LearningCurve.
A Closer Look
LaunchPad—which can be packaged free with In-
terpersonal Communication and You or purchased
A current and comprehensive
separately—allows instructors to create reading,
overview of the discipline.
video, or quiz assignments in seconds, as well as
Interpersonal Communication and You draws on the best embed their own videos or custom content.
of cutting-edge and classic scholarship. Topics like on- Instructors can also keep an eye on their class’s
line self-presentation and mediated communication progress throughout the semester by looking at re-
competence are integrated with familiar areas such as sults for individual students and for individual as-
active listening and intercultural competence. signments. LaunchPad comes fully loaded with
powerful learning tools, including:
A focus on student self-reflection,
LearningCurve, an adaptive and personalized
skills development, and
quizzing program that puts the concept of
self-assessment. “testing to learn” into action. Chapter call-outs
Interpersonal Communication and You is filled with prompt students to tackle the gamelike Learn-
opportunities for students to apply the material to ingCurve quizzes to test their knowledge and re-
their own lives, while LaunchPad makes it easy for inforce learning. Based on cognitive research on
instructors to assign these features and track student how students learn, this adaptive quizzing pro-
progress online. Self-assessment features in the text gram motivates students to engage with course
include the following: materials. The reporting tools let instructors see
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