illusions

59 Pages·2012·2.49 MB·English

IILLLLUUSSIIOONNSS

by

Paul Kirby

1 | P age
copyright 2012 Paul Kirby

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Professional and Amateurs wishing to arrange for production
of ILLUSIONS must make application to PAUL KIRBY at
[email protected]

The name of town and theatre or hall in which it is proposed
to give the production; the maximum seating capacity of the
theatre or hall; the scale of ticket prices; the number of
performances it is intended to give, and the dates thereof.

Upon receipt of these particulars PAUL KIRBY will quote
terms and availability.

Anyone presenting the play shall not commit or authorize
any act or omission by which the copyright of the play or the
right to copyright same may be impaired.

No changes shall be made in the play for the purpose of
your production unless authorized in writing.

The publication of this play does not imply that it is
necessarily available for performance by amateurs of
professionals. Amateurs and professionals considering a
production are strongly advised in their own interest to apply
to PAUL KIRBY for consent before starting rehearsals,
advertising, or booking a theatre or hall.

Paul Kirby
Email: [email protected]
www.paulkirby.ca

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PERFORMERS:
One male actor – early to mid 50s
One female actor – early to mid 70s

In the playbill only the names of the performers are listed: no character names

Actor name
Actor name
Alec Cawthorne

The name of a local actor/stage manager may be used instead if ‗Alec Cawthorne‘

The action takes place in one act, in one room, in one evening.

The scene is the study in an English country home in Wiltshire, southern England. The
room is where magical apparatus, memorabilia and books are stored from a life spent in
magic and collecting. It is musty, with an unused-look and smell to it. The walls of the
set should be slightly out of balance but not overly-so; this might not be even visible to
the audience. The stage should have blacks, greys and shadows. Stage-right is an
imposing fireplace which has not been used for many years. It should have cinders in
the grate. On the mantle is an antique clock; its hands point to 11:55. Upstage of the
fireplace is a set of bookshelves on which sit some of The Professor‟s beloved books.
To the left of this are French doors. The audience does not know at this point that they
are doors as they are covered by heavy dark red drapes. To the left of the doors are
more book cases. Continuing on to the wall stage-left are several pieces of imposing
magical apparatus including: a trunk, Guillotine, ‗sawing a woman in half‘, an upright
armoire-looking cabinet, and The Immurement. Finally, stage-left, is a double-door
entrance way which leads to the hallway. The hallway—though not seen—leads to the
upper floor staircase, the kitchen and a drawing room. Downstage-left is a large old
chesterfield. Next to the fireplace, on both sides, are two Queen Anne-style chairs.
Another chair sits to the right of the sofa. The stage is lit by an imposing electric-lit
chandelier hanging downstage centre, picture lights and wall sconces. The floor is a
black and white checkerboard tile. One of the tiles should have the ability to lift up as if
going to a passage beneath the floor. If there is an actual trapdoor—great—but it is not
required. On the walls not used as described above are paintings and posters.
Scattered throughout on the floor and on little tables are pieces of magical apparatus.

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As the house lights dim and the stage lights rise a silence envelops the room. This lasts
until it becomes uncomfortable for the audience. When they can no longer bear it the
calmness is shattered by the sound of a thunderclap and torrential rain pouring outside.
It is a tempest. The electric lights flicker on and off and, finally, remain off. The sound
and the darkness remain for a few moments. Through the dimness the audience can
see the door stage-left open, and a light flicker. ACTRESS enters. SHE is in her early-
to mid-70s; a „grandmotherly‟ type. SHE is slightly hunched and walks with the aid of a
cane. HER clothing is black, high-collared and loose-fitting. SHE wears plain, sensible
black shoes. HER gray hair is tied in a sensible bun. There is nothing about her which
draws attention to herself. SHE carries an oil lamp. ACTRESS walks slowly across the
stage through the blackness to the French Doors and pulls back the huge drapes to
reveal not lovely glass doors but boarded-up frames. There is daylight shining through
the cracks between the boards. ACTRESS pulls and pushes on the boards to make
sure no one or no thing can enter. SHE again closes the drapes.

As ACTRESS walks back slowly to the door stage-left SHE pauses in front of a large
poster--which is lit by the lamp--of The Professor. The poster shows him performing his
most famous illusion: The Bird in the Gilded Cage. The Professor is pictured on a stage
with a woman standing attractively next to him on the stage, with him pointing to a cage
suspended mid-air containing a woman with the mask of a bird. SHE holds the lamp
under her face like an old-fashioned light. SHE clears her throat and „announces‟ as if
she were pretending to be someone who announces. It is something she never had to
do in the past for „real‟. SHE may even stumble over some words.

ACTRESS: Gentlemen and Ladies and Boys and Girls. Maskelyne's Theatre of
Mystery is pleased to present the perplexing prestidigitation of The
Professor and his lovely assistant Liraea. (Pause. SHE assumes the voice
of the magician The Professor) Thank you, Mr. Maskelyne. (SHE
addresses audience slowly and eerily in his voice) Tonight, you will be
witness to ghostly disapparitions and phantasmal translocations like never
before seen. Not in London. Not in Paris, France. Nor even in the mystical
Far East. You will not believe what your eyes see; and you will not see
what your mind believes. (Pause. Struggles over a few of the next words.)
Signor Giovanni Alfonso Borelli‘s De Motu Animalum could not unlock the
secrets of human flight; the great Leonardo Davinci, too, attempted in vain
to fly like a bird. (Pause) But tonight, here, in this Palace of Wonders, you
will see this beautiful bird in flight . . . (Hand gestures indicate Liraea.
ACTRESS bows) . . . as she escapes her gilded cage and flies to
freedom.

(Sings to self) ―She‘s only a bird in a gilded cage
A beautiful sight to see
You may think she‘s happy and free from care
She‘s not, though she seems to be.
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‗tis sad when you think of her wasted life,
For youth cannot mate with age.
And her beauty was sold
For an old man‘s gold,
She‘s a bird in a gilded cage.‖

ACTRESS stands with her arms wide open as if a bird and closes her eyes. After a
moment the silence and mood is broken by the sound of a telephone ringing. ACTRESS
calls out to no-one: “I‟ll get it”. SHE walks slowly through the door stage-left and into the
hallway to answer the phone. The phone will ring and ring and ring until she finally
answers it.

ACTRESS: (off) Hello. . . . It is she . . . You‘ll have to speak up—I do not hear well . .
Sergeant Tarrant . . . how are you? . . . Oh my dear! . . . How long ago
was the escape made . . . I shall be careful . . . I have checked the doors
and windows from the storm. . . No. I shall not answer the door. . . I shall
see you momentarily . . . Thank you for your concern.

After SHE hangs up the phone off stage, there is a crash of thunder, a flicker of lights
again and the sound of crashing glass. The drapes of the French Doors billow with wind
blowing through the cracks in the boarding. ACTRESS sees this and again goes over to
the drapes. SHE hesitatingly grasps the drapes in her hands—one still holding the
cane—pauses—and pulls drapes apart. There is nothing and no one there. Moments
later there is the sound of a knocker banging on the front door. SHE is startled. Silence.
SHE stands still. Silence. Banging again. Silence.

ACTRESS: (Calls out softly from where she stands) Sergeant?

SHE pulls her collar tight around her as she looks that way. Silence. A banging on the
French Doors and the sound of a male voice: `Hello?` SHE backs off scared. Again
after a pause the sound of the knocker on the door is heard. A male voice: “Hello.
Anyone home? You‟re expecting me.” Silence. SHE looks to her left and on the wall
near the poster for DMITRI CHEKOV hangs a gun. SHE makes a motion to take the
gun from the wall. Hesitates. Takes it down. Touches it. After a pause for thought SHE
hangs it back on the wall. There is no further sound of banging. SHE feels more
comfortable. Walks towards the stage-left door, opens it and screams as there is a
figure in a black coat with a black hood standing there—like Death.

ACTOR: Don‘t be afraid.

ACTRESS: Who are you?

ACTOR: You are expecting me.

ACTRESS: What do you want?

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ACTOR: I‘m not here to hurt you.

ACTRESS: Where did you come from?

ACTOR: I am here to help you.

ACTRESS: Why are you here?

ACTOR: I don‘t mean to frighten you.

ACTRESS becomes increasingly frantic as the scene continues. SHE will gradually
ease away during the next lines. The audience senses, or hopes, she is backing toward
the gun on the wall.

ACTRESS: How did you get in here?

ACTOR: The door to the kitchen was open.

ACTRESS: Please do not hurt me!

ACTOR: I‘m not here to hurt you . . .

ACTRESS: . . . I do not have much money . . .

ACTOR: I don‘t want your money.

ACTRESS: . . . but what I have I shall give to you!

ACTOR: Please. Listen to me.

ACTRESS: Food?

ACTOR: No.

ACTRESS: You want food?

ACTOR: No!

ACTRESS: You are hungry?

ACTOR: You don‘t understand.

ACTRESS: I can get you food!

ACTOR: Listen . . .

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ACTRESS: I was making myself some . . .

ACTOR: I don‘t want . . .

ACTRESS: . . .kippers.

ACTOR: I don‘t want you to be . . .

ACTRESS: Split open from head-to-tail.

ACTOR: What?

ACTRESS: Gutted.

ACTOR: Please!

ACTRESS: Salted with a nice poached egg . . .

ACTOR: Listen!

ACTRESS: . . . in the middle.

ACTOR: Be quiet!

ACTRESS: Just don‘t touch me!

ACTOR: You have it all wrong.

ACTRESS: I don‘t want you to touch me.

ACTOR: I won‘t.

ACTRESS: You are wet.

ACTOR: It‘s raining

ACTRESS: I can get you dry clothes.

ACTOR: I don‘t need . . .

ACTRESS: You‘ll catch your death.

ACTOR: I‘ll dry.

ACTRESS: You can keep them . . .

7 | P age
ACTOR: I don‘t need any.

ACTRESS: . . . when you leave.

ACTOR: I‘ll dry by then.

ACTRESS: No one would know who you are!

ACTOR: Shut up!!

ACTRESS cowers. Silence.

ACTOR: I‘m sorry for yelling.

ACTRESS: The police will be here soon.

ACTOR: The police?

ACTRESS: Coming here.

ACTOR: What?

ACTRESS: To check on me.

ACTOR: Why?

ACTRESS: They always call to let me know when . . .

ACTOR: When ―what‖?

ACTRESS: There is a prisoner missing.

ACTOR: Prisoner?

ACTRESS: They come to check on me.

ACTOR: What ‗prisoner‘?

ACTRESS: To make sure I am safe.

ACTOR: Was that the siren?

ACTRESS: If you leave now . . .

ACTOR: I‘m not a prisoner.

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ACTRESS: Not any more.

ACTOR: I never was.

ACTRESS: I shan‘t tell them you were here.

ACTOR: I‘m not here to hurt you.

ACTRESS: Why are you in my own house?

ACTOR: I mean no harm.

A calmness begins to settle in between the two.

ACTOR: If that was my intention I would have hurt you already. We have an
appointment.

ACTRESS: Appointment?

ACTOR: For us to meet.

ACTRESS: I don‘t recall setting an appointment.

ACTOR: We have an appointment. For the interview?

ACTRESS: Why would I want to talk to a stranger?

ACTOR: The job interview. About The Professor and his magical apparatus . . .
(ACTOR pulls off hood to reveal his face.)

ACTRESS: I know of no such thing.

ACTOR: I‘m from the magician‘s magazine TOP HAT AND TALES.

ACTRESS: (No longer scared, but now appears confused) I don‘t remember . . .

ACTOR: We arranged it some time ago. I‘m a magician, too.

ACTRESS: A magician?

ACTOR: An illusionist.

ACTRESS: An interview?

ACTOR; We were going to discuss doing an inventory of all of the tricks and
illusions. Look into what you have here.
9 | P age
ACTRESS: An inventory?

ACTOR: To see how much it is all worth.

ACTRESS: One cannot put a price on memories, my dear. You were asked to come
tonight?

ACTOR: It was for tomorrow, actually. I had the intention of staying in the village
overnight and arriving here early in the morning. All the rooms at the Inn
are filled because of the weather.

ACTRESS: I don‘t . . . I can‘t remember an appointment. This house sees so few
visitors. I am sure I would have remembered. (Though not sure)

ACTOR: If it is an inconvenience I can come back . . .

ACTRESS: Silly me. I am so sorry. I must have forgotten. I seem to be forgetting more
and more. My mind is not what it used to be.

ACTOR: It happens to all of us.

ACTRESS: Oh. What have you forgotten?

ACTOR recognizes the redundancy of his previous statement.

ACTRESS: Come in, dear, come in. Let me put on some lights.

One-by-one she lights sconces on the walls of the room. Even with the lamps lit the
room is still dim, but bright enough for the audience to take in the room.

ACTRESS: When The Professor took over the house he made a great deal of
improvements. He did not know how reliable this new thing call ―electricity‖
would be so he made sure all of the lights worked with it, and with
gaslight, without it. The backup is especially important when a house is as
isolated as this one. It is almost an island unto itself.

As SHE speaks the lights shine on the posters. One is of Chung Ling Soo, the
legendary Chinese magician. The elaborate poster shows the bald-headed conjuror in
fine oriental garb with oriental symbols around him. Another is the Nordic magician
Skeddan Jiarg--‟The Iceman‟. His face takes up most of the poster with his eyes staring
hypnotically at the viewer. Alongside this is the poster for Dmitri Chekov. He is seen in
the poster with his assistant who is pointing a gun at Chekov, performing the famous
bullet-catching trick. The gun hangs on the wall near the poster.

ACTOR: Wow.
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