I Should Forgive, But...2nd Edition: Finding Release from the Bondage of Anger and Bitterness

177 Pages·2016·0.92 MB·English

by  Chuck Lynch

Copyright © 1998 by Dr. Charles M. Lynch. All rights reserved. No portion of
this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any
other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior
permission of the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the New American Standard
Bible ®. Copyright the Lockman Foundation © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971,
1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations noted KJV are from the King James Version.

Scripture quotations noted AMPLIFIED BIBLE are from The Amplified New
Testament. Copyright © 1958 by the Lockman Foundation (used by permission).

Scripture quotations identified MOFFATT are from The New Testament: A New
Translation, copyright © 1964 by James Moffatt, published by Harper & Row,
Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lynch, Chuck, 1942–
I should forgive, but—: finding release from anger and bitterness / Chuck
Lynch—2nd ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-4536-5413-5
E-Book ISBN: 978-1-4392-8425-4
1. Forgiveness—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Pastoral counseling. I.
Title.
BV4647.F55L96 1998
234’.5—dc21 98–23652
CIP

Printed in the United States of America
8 9 0 1 2 3 4 DHC 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Dedicated to
a praying mom and a forgiven dad
Contents

Title Page
Copyright Page
Foreword
Acknowledgments
Preface
1 “I Should Forgive, But …”
2 “I’m Not Angry!”
3 “I Can’t Forget!”
4 “Someone Has to Pay!”
5 “They Don’t Understand!”
6 “They Won’t Even Acknowledge What They Did!”
7 “I’m Living with the Memories!”
8 “I Can’t Forgive Myself!”
9 “I Can’t Forgive God!”
10 “I’m Not the Forgiving Kind!”
11 “I Can’t Let Go!”
12 “They’ll Only Do It Again!”
13 “I Don’t Know Where to Begin!”
Conference Information
Foreword

Several months ago I got a real zinger, a situation that deeply hurt my
feelings. A friend pulled me away from a group we were with and pointed out
how I had “messed up big-time” with a mutual friend. I was stunned. My face
flushed and I felt like crawling into a hole. I knew my intentions had been pure
in that particular situation, but I also knew I couldn’t defend my behavior
without escalating the situation. So I swallowed my pride. I took the reprimand,
desperately wishing I could fire back. I knew, though, that if I started talking I
was capable of making the situation much worse.
I was hurt, and I experienced the grieving process for weeks. After some
time, I watched my heart heal. I remain aware that these types of situations, as
painful as they can be, are simply life. As Christians we may be tax-exempt in
our giving, but we are not trial-exempt in our living. Every believer is going to
get hurt emotionally or even physically in life. Being an author and a speaker
does not stop me from hurting others or being hurt by others. I will be hurt,
frustrated, and fearful again. But the same God who healed me this time will
deepen me and heal my heart again.
For years I have made a practice of “unloading” my emotions each day
before the sun sets. Whenever I’ve experienced hurt, frustration, anger, or
feelings of being unsafe with someone, I’ve consciously chosen to forgive.
Three things have motivated me to do this.
First, failure to forgive plunges me into darkness which keeps me from
walking with God in His light (1 John 1:5–7). But something else happens as
well: barriers start to be erected between others and myself. I have personally
observed in thousands of lives around the world that the wall is usually the size
of the anger in their heart. Finally, if I do not unload anger through forgiveness, I
tend to resist the attempts of others to love me. In fact, I may even find myself
sabotaging my most important relationships with my wife, Norma, and my kids.
I make it a practice with my own family and the staff at Today’s Family to
give them the gift of forgiveness daily to keep us ministering in the light as we
walk in God’s light. But this is not easy. Forgiveness is hard. There are many
deep reasons why forgiveness is hindered from taking place. That’s why I was
thrilled when I read Chuck’s manuscript, “I Should Forgive, But …”. He
answers at least ten of the most frequently encountered roadblocks to
forgiveness. As I read, names of friends and family leaped into my mind—
people I knew would be greatly helped if they could work through these
roadblocks to freedom. I have already sent scores of the draft copy to personal
friends and national leaders.
After I read his manuscript, I called Chuck at his home on New Year’s Day
with one question: Would he let me mentor him through the publishing process?
It is an absolute personal joy to see the book now coming to fruition. It is
refreshing for me to recommend to you both a practical book and a credible
author. Chuck and I have worked together in a national ministry. I have seen the
fruit of his life, his ministry, and his family grow for over twenty-five years.
—Gary Smalley