How to Teach Meditation to Children: Help Kids Deal with Shyness and Anxiety and Be More Focused, Creative and Self-confident

119 Pages·2016·0.67 MB·English

by  David Fontana

This book is dedicated to all children and to the adults who love and
care for them, in the hope that it will help them towards peaceful and
fulfilling lives.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
We would like to thank all the adults and children who have worked with us in
meditation, particularly those who have let us quote their cases here. A special
thank you goes to the staff and pupils in Kent’s Hill First School in Milton
Keynes for their co-operation, flexibility and support.
CONTENTS
Foreword
Preface
Introduction
PART 1 Meditation and Children
1 Why Meditation?
2 Why Meditation with Children?
PART 2 The Practice of Meditating with Children
3 Meditation for Mindfulness
4 Meditation for Concentration
5 Meditation and the Emotions
6 Meditation for Relaxation
7 Meditation for Body Awareness
8 Meditation for Creativity
9 Meditation for Imagination
10 Finding a Peaceful Place
11 Meditation for Moral and Spiritual Growth
PART 3 The Practicalities of Teaching Meditation
12 The Practicalities of Meditation with Children
13 Beginning Meditation with Five-to Eight-Year-Olds
14 Beginning Meditation with Nine-to Twelve-Year-Olds
15 Beginning Meditation with Thirteen-to Eighteen-Year-Olds
A Final Note
Further Reading
FOREWORD
Life is not always easy for children these days. Schools are under huge pressure
to perform, with children passing through a seemingly endless conveyer belt of
cramming and assessment. A one-size-fits-all approach means that individuality
can give way to conformity. Social media, advertising and peer pressure squeeze
children in other directions. When they are not at school or doing homework, the
lure of screens can sap much of the rest of the day, and keep children “safely”
shut up indoors. Children are allowed less physical freedom and fewer hours for
unrestricted play than ever before. This lack of self-directed time makes it hard
for them to have space to “be themselves”. No wonder, then, that children, from
the very young up to teenagers, are suffering from depression, stress and anxiety.
More and more people are waking up to the fact that meditation and
mindfulness can help us to lead fuller, happier and more meaningful lives.
Children are no exception to this. Like adults, they can benefit from meditation
in a myriad of ways. It helps them learn to relate to themselves and each other
more successfully, and allows them to get better at maintaining a mindful way of
life.
Major research projects are currently studying the use of mindfulness in
schools, which are already embracing meditation as part of their wellbeing
programmes, and parents are looking for ways to introduce it at home.
Meditation can help provide children with the tools they need to navigate the
maze of modern adolescence and grow up into resilient, resourceful and
compassionate adults.
But meditation is not just a magic pill that we can use to ‘fix’ broken
children, or even a broken school system or society. Yes, meditation may help
children perform better in exams. Yes, it may help them become more sociable
and more responsible. But we must not let mindfulness become another
yardstick by which they will be measured. Meditation must be taught for the
benefit of the children who will learn it, not as a cynical way to achieve better
results or more manageable classrooms. We need to ensure that it is taught
within a context of creativity, respect, compassion and resilience; and that
meditation is offered to children for their sake, to help them become responsible
happy adults – masters of their own agenda, not that of school teachers or
policy-makers.
If we sincerely want to raise children’s confidence and encourage qualities
such as mindfulness, concentration and compassion, then we must show children
that we value these qualities. We must also work hard to cultivate them in
ourselves. We must embark on our own journeys of self-discovery and
perseverance so that we can support others with integrity.
Through working with my own and other children, I have come to realize
that we cannot effectively teach others how to set about observing and training
minds if we have not first made a commitment to set our own house in order.
Yet, even if we are fully behind the concept and have an extensive personal
meditation practice, it is not always clear how meditation can be introduced to
children. It can be hard for younger children to get excited about sitting quietly –
especially when it is not immediately obvious what they might get out of it.
Older children may shy away from the experience through fears it will make
them feel self-conscious and vulnerable.
In this classic book, David Fontana and Ingrid Slack have set out a practical
guide for introducing meditation to children. The authors discuss how to make
meditation appealing and accessible. They present a range of exercises, both
formal and informal, and differing ways to use them. Throughout their book they
discuss the benefits of the different skills practised, and how children might
relate to them in a real-life situation.
The book is sincere in intention, honest in its appraisal of the challenges
teachers and parents might face, and is clearly drawn from a wealth of
experience. It provides a great resource for those wanting to explore meditation
with children, either at home or in the classroom. This book is just as, if not
more, relevant today as it was when it was first published twenty years ago.
Amber Hatch, 2017
Meditation and parenting expert Amber Hatch is the author of the bestselling
Mindfulness for Parents.
PREFACE
The interest aroused since the first appearance of this book and the many
requests we have received for its continuing publication have amply confirmed
our belief that children value the experience of meditation in their lives. The
modern world seeks to dominate children with computer and other electronic
games, with mobile phones and frenetic television programmes, with the result
that the young are at increasing risk of moving ever further from the experience
of ‘being’, that is from the experience of connecting fully with themselves, with
other people, and with the natural world. Constantly bombarded by noise and by
flashing images, constantly distracted by text messages, by mobile phone calls,
by emails and by the internet, they have less and less time to pause and
experience tranquillity. Where is the space for rest, for thought, for self-
exploration, for the creation of harmony between body and mind, and for
experiencing real intimacy with loved ones?
The feedback we have received from parents and teachers who have used
this book indicates that many children not only find meditation of great benefit
in their emotional and intellectual lives, but they also take readily to it.
Moreover, we have been greatly encouraged by the eagerness of teachers and
parents to use the meditative exercises given in the book with their children.
Adults are quick to recognize that these exercises help children from the early
years onwards to grow in maturity, self-confidence and self-management; they
enhance the relationship children have with their peers and with the adults
themselves because meditating together helps bring people of all ages closer to
each other. In addition, teachers find that short sessions of meditation help to
calm children, either during lessons or at the start and end, and that they can
form a valuable feature of personal/social education programmes. Parents find
that when used within the home such sessions are a welcome aid in helping
young children prepare for sleep after enjoying bedtime stories.
We always suggest that those who teach meditation to children should
practise meditation themselves, but we also make clear that teaching the
exercises in this book successfully does not require great expertise. Children are
simply invited to follow a few straightforward guidelines, and provided that
teachers and parents communicate their own belief in the value of meditation,
children usually experience little difficulty in absorbing the essentials involved.
If, as a parent or a teacher you have never meditated, you might like to try some
of the exercises yourself (they will benefit you also) and then try doing them
along with your child or children.
Meditation is a natural state of mind. Just as we relax the body by keeping it
still, so we relax the mind by stilling some of the mental chatter that typically
dominates it. And as made clear in the book, meditation is not something that
takes us away from the world. It is something that enables us to live richer and
more rewarding lives, and to meet more effectively the challenges and
opportunities that life brings. Meditation should become part of the education of
every child, and it is our hope that this book will continue to help, in however
small a way, to ensure that it does.
Working with the young is a sacred trust, and in our careers as psychologists,
and formerly as class teachers, we have always found that working with children
enhances our own lives in unique and richly rewarding ways. We all receive far
more from children than we are ever able to give to them. This is particularly
true when it comes to teaching meditation. Working with children in meditation
lifts our spirits as well as theirs. It is towards this lifting of the spirits that we
dedicate the book.
David Fontana and Ingrid Slack