Table Of ContentTable of Contents
Endorsements
Title page
Copyright page
Epigraph
Dedication
About the Author
Foreword by Armand Beasley
Introduction: Why You Should Want to Speak to
Absolutely Anyone
Communication Is All about Understanding
We notice different things
PART ONE: Common Fears and Barriers about
Speaking to Absolutely Anyone
1: Fear – Does It Hold You Back?
What Exactly Is Fear?
Your Mindset – The Biggest Potential Barrier
Conclusion
2: “I don't want to experience rejection”
3: “I worry about what other people might think”
What Others Might Think of Your Interaction
Conclusion
4: “I hate talking to strangers – why would I want to?”
Why Bother Talking to Strangers Anyway?
You Already Speak to More Strangers Than You Think
Conclusion
PART TWO: The Four Stages of an Interaction
The Dynamics of an Interaction
5: Stage 1 – Your Outcome and Starting a Conversation
Know the Outcome You Want!
Being Clear about Your Reasons for the Interaction
When/Where – Based on the Environment
Other Environments
Who – Who Do We Talk to Based on Who Looks Approachable?
The curse of getting started
6: How – How Do You Mentally and Physically
Approach?
Own Your Environment
Mental: Visualize
Mental: The Other Person's Emotional State
Mental: Frames
Physical: How to Physically Approach Someone
Physical: Getting Their Attention
Physical: Opening Styles
One More Thing
7: What – What Do You Say?
Types of Opening Statements
Pace Their Reality or Meet Them Where They Are!
Spot the Start of Their Engagement
Keep It Simple with People You've Never Met Before
Topic Hints and Conversation Hijacking
Avoid Classic Chitchat for too Long
8: Stage 2 – Creating Curiosity and Interest
Leading Their Imagination
The Power of Stories
9: Stage 3 – Making a Connection and Being Understood
Being Understood – An Example
“What's Important to You?”
Making it Easier for People to Understand What You're Saying
What Words Are They Using?
Decision Strategies
Dealing with Questions
How Much Detail?
The Balance of Consistency and Variety
A Little Recognition and Appreciation Goes a Long Way
Are You Really Listening?
10: Stage 4 – Get Them to Take Action
Motivation
Talk as if It's Going to Happen
Capture Their Imagination
Have the Expectation of a Good Outcome
Go for It!
Narrow Choices Are Best!
Objections
Conclusion
Summary of the Stages of an Interaction
PART THREE: Making Your Communication
Even Better
11: Making Your Voice Work for You
Tonality
Speed of Talking
Pauses
Intonation
12: Common Pitfalls
I Got a Bad Response and Didn't Know How to Handle the
Situation
Avoid Explaining too Much
Use “But” with Caution
Respond, Rather Than React
13: Difficult Work and Business Conversations
A Difficult Meeting
Broken Promises, Missed Deadlines and Similar Situations
The Price Has Gone Up
The Art of Delegating
Work Done Badly
Tricky Appraisals
Resistance
Dealing with Critical Comments
“I'd rather not discuss that”
14: Final Thoughts
Your “Zero to Hero Talk to Anyone” Development Plan
Index
“Part of my role includes being an expert witness on large renewable energy
projects, so I know how important communication and words are. In his book
Mark makes insightful observations and strings these together in a unique,
refreshing and totally life-changing way. Perhaps the most powerful
connection he makes is that our words and thoughts give rise to our feelings,
and combining that with the effective strategies for conversation gives us a
simply written, totally empowering and hugely inspiring book.”
Sitara Keppie, Managing Director, Circle Design (UK) Ltd
“We live in a world where both in our personal and business lives electronic
communication has become the norm. It has been said that many people are
actually losing the skill of simply talking to people. In this book, Mark
Rhodes, in his easy-to-read down-to-earth style, gives all of us a solid
framework to maximize our effectiveness in starting conversations in any
situation naturally. In doing so he ensures we will achieve the outcomes we
want. Thoroughly recommended.”
Robbie Stepney, Managing Director, Calls That Count Limited
“How to Talk to Absolutely Anyone goes way beyond the promise made in the
title. An enlightening mixture of common sense and practical experience that
is both extremely readable and implementable. Mark has brought to the book
the same style that makes him such a great speaker at live events. The ideas
for how to approach difficult conversations are a huge bonus, changing the
focus to a win–win mindset.”
Ray Noble, Editor, Your Excellency Magazine www.yourexcellencymag.com
“In business, as in all walks of life, communication is vital whatever we are
doing. Yet how often do we think about how to engage with others in the best
way or how to enhance our skill set in this area? Mark, in his clear and
engaging way, gives readers the opportunity to overcome their in-built fears,
practice and improve their skills and learn new ones. Personally, I have learnt
a great deal from Mark and have valued reading this book.”
Peter Quilter, ACIB
“This book shows you how to make your thinking work for you – not against
you – so that you can talk successfully with anyone, anywhere. As has been
said of Mark's previous book (on success) – keep it with you and read it over
and over again!”
Mark Henry, Corporate and Banking Partner, Birketts LLP
“I have seen so many intelligent people held back by their weak
communication skills, their fear of ‘speaking to strangers’ in a business
environment. It is one thing to tell them they are needlessly being held back;
what this book does is detail the practical route to overcoming these fears and
being a better communicator – a kind of ‘sat-nav for stress-free mingling!’ ”
Danny Clifford, Managing Partner, Ensors
“As the world's largest Business Networking organization we know that
communication, and the ability to be able to build relationships, is absolutely
crucial for business and personal success. Mark has been the headline speaker
for a number of our conferences and now brings his knowledge and
experience in the area of communication to everyone in How to Talk to
Absolutely Anyone.”
Charlie Lawson, National Director, BNI UK & Ireland
“Whatever age, background or stage of life you are at, Mark's positive voice
of experience connects with you to deliver a myriad of real-life situations and
solutions so you can develop the know-how to get the best out of
communication, and get the best out of life!”
Siobhan Eke, Director of Enterprise and Innovation Principalship, City
College Norwich
Cover design and illustration by Revert to Type © 2013 Mark Rhodes
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