Table Of ContentHow To
Sell
Yourself
Winning Techniques
for Selling Yourself...Your
Ideas...Your Message
Arch Lustberg
Franklin Lakes, NJ
Copyright ©2002 by Arch Lustberg
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright
Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any
form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or
hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The Ca-
reer Press.
How To Sell Yourself
Edited by Kristen Mohn
Typeset by John J. O’Sullivan
Photographs by W.A. Williams
Cover design by Barry Littmann
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lustberg, Arch.
How to sell yourself : winning techniques for selling yourself—your
ideas—your message / by Arch Lustberg.
p.cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 1-56414-585-9 (pbk.)
1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Success. I. Title.
BF637.C45 .L877 2002
153.6—dc21 2001054395
Dedication
For Hunter, Liam, and Jackson.
Acknowledgments
This book would not be a reality without the help of three of
the key women in my life: Marguerite Savard, who runs my busi-
ness; Susan Paynter Hasankulizade, who edits my quarterly news-
letter; and my wife, Jean Anne, whose five published novels were
part of my literary training.
And I mustn’t forget Robert Patrick O’Connor, the editor
who made all of Jean Anne’s and all of my books happen.
Contents
Introduction........................................................................................7
Chapter 1:
Selling Yourself................................................................................15
Chapter 2:
Selling Your Competence...............................................................25
Chapter 3:
Selling Your Likability....................................................................37
Chapter 4:
Selling With Confidence.................................................................55
Chapter 5:
Selling With the Right Signals........................................................65
Chapter 6:
Selling Yourself As a Speaker........................................................77
Chapter 7:
Selling Yourself in Confrontation and Media Interviews..........93
Chapter 8:
Selling Yourself in the Classroom...............................................125
Chapter 9:
Selling Your Product.....................................................................131
Chapter 10:
Selling Yourself in the Job Interview..........................................137
Chapter 11:
Selling Yourself When Testifying................................................149
Chapter 12:
Selling Yourself in Meetings ........................................................157
Chapter 13:
Selling Yourself in Negotiations ..................................................173
Chapter 14:
The “Selling Yourself” Handbook ..............................................179
Appendix .........................................................................................189
Index................................................................................................199
About the Author...........................................................................205
Introduction 7
Introduction
COMMUNICATION IS THE transfer of information from one mind to
another mind, or to a group of other minds. It can be in the form
of an idea, a fact, an image, an emotion, or a story. It can be
written, spoken, drawn, danced, sung, or mimed.
Whatever the medium, if the message doesn’t reach the other
person, there’s no communication, or there’s miscommunication.
The simple premise of this book is that every time you open
your mouth, in order for communication to happen, you have to
sell yourself. If you don’t sell yourself, communication is nearly
impossible. If you do, your message will get across.
We think of selling as being product-oriented. But that’s only
one aspect of selling. In the case of product sales, the governing
factors are usually the salesperson and the price. Even when there’s
a slight price difference, we rarely buy any big-ticket item from
someone we really dislike.
Ideas aren’t much different. The only time we pay close atten-
tion to an idea being communicated by someone we don’t like is
when we have a heavy personal or emotional investment in the
subject.
I grew up in prehistoric times when ice was delivered by a man
in a wagon. Frigidaire was the generic name for electric and gas
“ice boxes” because it was the only one. There was no television.
Think of it...no television! Phone calls were made by calling an
operator. Most public transportation cost a nickel. So did a Coke.
Underage smart-alec kids could buy “loosies,” single cigarettes at
C 7 c
8 How to Sell Yourself
a penny apiece. What there was of an upper middle class could
buy a new car for $500. That was big bucks then. That was the
time when the voice was the critical communication tool. Radio
was the mass-communication medium. The political candidate
boomed his message from the rear observation car of the train.
Then, without warning, the industrial revolution evolved into the
technological revolution.
Today, everyone around us seems to be carrying a personal
palm-sized telephone. The laptop computer is almost a required
piece of carry-on luggage. The beeper makes civilized conversa-
tion nearly impossible. It seems that nothing is out of technologi-
cal reach.
But somehow, there has never been anything to replace the
handshake, the hug, and the “hello.” Face-to-face communication
is still, and is likely always to be, irreplaceable. Whether it’s one-
on-one or one with a group, the personal touch is a powerhouse.
The keyboard will never be a complete substitute for the hu-
man face, body, and voice. Yes, the machine can take us into new
adventures, but if it ever actually replaces our interpersonal rela-
tionships, we will have become machines ourselves. Robots. Me-
chanical replicas of human beings.
The child in school won’t become a better person because
there’s a computer at every desk in the classroom. Loving, caring,
giving, sharing parents, teachers, and administrators will always
produce a better-quality next generation. A mouse will never re-
place a mom. Not even a Disney mouse.
There was a time when I believed that teleconferencing would
put airlines and hotels out of business. I’d have bet money on it. I
wasn’t thinking straight. In fact, not even the horrendous Septem-
ber 11, 2001 disaster could stop people from wanting to “work the
crowd” at meetings, conventions, seminars, and retreats. I’m more
convinced than ever that it’s even more important that we do some
essential things together. In the same room. At the same time.
Networking in the form of personal contact will never go out of
style.
Many companies that decided to save money by selling to old
customers via phone, fax, and modem soon realized that their
sales and bottom lines were getting killed by the competitor who
kept the sales force in the field calling on the client. Whether it
Introduction 9
takes place in the office, over a meal, on the golf course, or at a
gathering, “hands on” is the final arbiter in a lot of situations. And
don’t forget, candidates for public office are still pounding the
pavement, knocking on doors, and pressing the flesh. No question
about it: Television commercials are still considered the key to
getting elected, but the candidates have never stopped going door-
to-door, to the factory gate, the bus or subway stop, the diner,
and every place else people congregate.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not bad-mouthing technology. It’s
certainly taking the world by storm, and it has only just begun.
As the early pioneers of the automobile couldn’t conceive of
jet travel in the air, we’re ignorant of what’s ahead 20 years from
now. Ideas that took thousands of years to become reality are
achievable in seconds.
The danger is that, as we become more sophisticated at the
keyboard, we’re becoming almost helpless communicating by
mouth.
I’m not unaware of the success of shop-at-home programs,
interactive television, and those jobs that eliminate the chore of
commuting and allow people to work out of their own homes. But
pretty soon all of us feel a need to make contact with another real
live adult human being. Companionship is an idea that will never
go out of style.
That brings me to the substance of this book. The more de-
pendent we become on the new age of technology, the higher the
speed limit goes on the information superhighway, the more bytes
it takes to digest a feast of facts, figures, and statistics, the more
pressing will be our need to speak well.
After all, every time you open your mouth to speak you’re
doing the equivalent of selling yourself, whether the communica-
tion is:
• Exchanging a greeting.
• Talking on the phone.
• Chatting with family, friends, colleagues, strangers, or
clients.
• Speaking up at a meeting.
• Delivering a presentation.
• Interviewing for a job.
