How to Manage Conflict: Turn All Conflicts into Win-Win Outcomes

185 Pages·1999·0.5 MB·English

by  Peg Pickering

How to Manage Conflict : Turn All
title:
Conflicts Into Win-win Outcomes
author: Pickering, Peg.
publisher: The Career Press
isbn10 | asin: 1564144402
print isbn13: 9781564144409
ebook isbn13: 9780585226750
language: English
subject Conflict management.
publication date: 2000
lcc: HM1126.P53 2000eb
ddc: 303.6/9
subject: Conflict management.
Page i
How to Manage Conflict
3rd Edition
Turn All Conflicts into Win-Win Outcomes
by Peg Pickering
Career Press
Franklin Lakes, NJ
Page ii
Copyright (c) 2000 by National Press Publications, a division of
Rockhurst College Continuing Education Center, Inc.
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International
Copyright Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole
or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and
retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written
permission from the publisher, The Career Press.
Career Press endorses nonsexist language. In an effort to make this
handbook clear, consistent, and easy to read, we have used "he"
throughout the odd-numbered chapters, and "she" throughout the
even-numbered chapters. The copy is not intended to be sexist.
H C , 3 E
OW TO MANAGE ONFLICT RD DITION
Cover design by Barry Littmann
Printed in the U.S.A. by Book-mart Press
To order this title, please call toll-free 1-800-CAREER-1 (NJ and
Canada: 201-848-0310) to order using VISA or MasterCard, or for
further information on books from Career Press.
The Career Press, Inc., 3 Tice Road, PO Box 687,
Franklin Lakes, NJ 07417
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Pickering, Peg
How to manage conflict : turn all conflicts into win-win outcomes /
by Peg Pickering.--3rd ed.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 1-56414-440-2 (paper)
1. Conflict management. I. Title.
HM1126.953 2000
303.6'9--dc21 99-051920
Page iii
Table of Contents
Introduction v
Chapter 1: Fundamentals of Conflict 1
What Is Conflict and Why Do We Have So Much of It? 1
Common Misconceptions about Conflict 4
Chapter 2: Types of Conflict 11
Internal Conflict 11
Interpersonal Conflict 13
Group Dynamics of Conflict 16
Chapter 3: Identifying Conflict Stages 21
Three Stages of Conflict 21
Characteristics of Stage One Conflict Everyday 22
Concerns and Disputes
Coping Strategies for Stage One Conflict 23
Characteristics of Stage Two Conflict More Significant 25
Challenges
Management Strategies to Handle Stage Two Conflict 26
Characteristics of Stage Three Conflict Overt Battles 27
Intervention Strategies for Stage Three Conflict 28
Chapter 4: Conflict Management Styles 35
Styles of Conflict Management 35
Factors Affecting Your Approach 42
Chapter 5: Constructive Management Styles 49
Maintaining Positive Relationships During Conflict 49
Leading from Strength 55
A Passive Management Style 56
Aggressive and Manipulative Management Styles 59
Ten Tips for Dealing with Aggressive, Angry Employees60
Page iv
Chapter 6: Communication's Contribution to Conflict 63
The Interpersonal Communication Gap 63
The Constructive Confrontation Model 67
The Broken Record Technique 69
Defending Yourself from a Verbal Attack 70
Chapter 7: Emotional Aspects of Conflict 73
How to Stay Cool, Calm and in Control . . . Most of the 73
Time
The Emotional Response Continuum 76
Emotional Reflexology 80
Five Emotional Don'ts During Conflict 83
Growth or Loss? 86
Chapter 8: The Intervention Team 91
Selecting the Intervention Team 91
Guidelines for an Intervention Team 92
The Five-Step Intervention Process 94
The Along-Side Plan 102
Chapter 9: Dealing with Angry Customers 105
Ten Tips for Soothing Angry Customers 105
Chapter 10: A Parting Philosophy 109
Points to Ponder 110
Suggested Reading 113
Index 115
Page v
Introduction
As the pace of life and business continues to accelerate, the
opportunities for conflicts multiply. Yet, the ability to work well with
others is the single greatest determinant of success in the 21st century.
Therefore, learning to disarm and defuse confrontational situations
and people is essential. One cannot work effectively with others with
clenched fists.
Managing conflict effectively requires developing competency in five
areas:
1. Understand the critical ingredients for collaborative thinking.
2. Align responsibilities to the needs of others.
3. Build into daily interactions the practices necessary for support.
4. Have conflict resolution skills and negotiation skills to resolve
various types of challenges.
5. Begin developing personal tools and systems for dealing with
tensions and pressures.
One's ability to build these competencies hinges on four success
factors:
Personal responsibility for one's own learning and skill
development.
Flexibility of style.
Page vi
Ability to listen and provide feedback on what is heard.
A positive attitude toward change.
Read this handbook carefully and refer to it in the future. Be sure to
complete each set of Reflections to immediately put these critical
concepts and principles to work in your life.