How to make peace in the middle east in six months or less : without leaving your apartment

188 Pages·2014·1.09 MB·English

by  Levey

Praise for
How to Make Peace in the Middle East in Six
Months or Less
Without Leaving Your Apartment
“Gregory Levey may or may not be able to save the world. But I do know this:
He writes a very entertaining and informative book. The section on Second Life
alone is worth the price of admission.”
—A. J. Jacobs, author of My Life as an
Experiment
“Greg Levey has made a comic masterpiece out of the world’s most intractable
conflict—yet hidden among the sidesplitting laugh lines are insights about the
Middle East that are no laughing matter. I’ve read dense scholarship on Israeli-
Palestinian affairs that does not capture the irony or the humanity of the situation
half as well as this hilarious book.”
—Joseph Braude, author of The New Iraq:
Rebuilding the Country for Its People,
the Middle East, and the World
“The conflict in the Mideast isn’t best handled by diplomats, ideologues, or
think-tank wonks, but by Greg Levey, the one man with the courage to call it
like it is: an exhausting, frustrating, dinner-party-killing morass, ruled over by
nutjobs of all stripes. HTMPITMEISMOLWLYA is the comedic Oslo Plan we’ve
been waiting for, and Levey delivers his diagnosis of the situation with the on-
the-ground wisdom of Thomas Friedman and the experimental wit of A. J.
Jacobs. Make laughs, not war.”
—David Sax, author of Save the Deli
“Laughs AND insight—a killer combo. Loved it so much I am looking forward
to ‘How to Create Cold Fusion Without Getting Out of the Hot Tub.’”
—Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range
Kids
“A lively and humorous account of one man’s quest to solve the Israeli-
Palestinian conflict. Levey’s thoughtfulness and wit make this book an
absorbing read for Middle East neophytes and veterans alike.”
—Jennifer Miller, author of Inheriting the
Holy Land:
An American’s Search for Hope in the
Middle East

Also by Gregory Levey
Shut Up, I’m Talking: And Other Diplomacy Lessons
I Learned in the Israeli Government—A Memoir

FREE PRESS
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Copyright © 2010 by Gregory Levey
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof
in any form whatsoever. For information address Free Press Subsidiary Rights Department,
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Free Press hardcover edition September 2010
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DESIGNED BY ERICH HOBBING
Manufactured in the United States of America
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Levey, Gregory.
How to make peace in the Middle East in six months or less
without leaving your apartment / Gregory Levey.
p. cm.
Includes index.
1. Arab-Israeli conflict—1993—Peace. 2. United States—Relations—Israel. 3. Israel—
Relations—United States. 4. Levey, Gregory. 5. Jews—United States—Biography. I. Title.
DS119.76.L473 2010
956.05'4—dc22 2010005547
ISBN 978-1-4391-5415-1
ISBN 978-1-4391-6329-0 (ebook)
For my parents—
one a warrior,
the other a diplomat
I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and
just laugh at people.
—Jack Handey
Contents
Author’s Note
1. My Struggles with Dementia
2. Neither Left nor Right, I’m Just Staying Home Tonight
3. The Israel Lobby and the Perfect Avocado
4. What Happened in Romania
5. A Very Dangerous Suburban Dad
6. “I Should Believe That You Don’t Surprising”
7. Give Me a Child for His First Seven Years
8. I Am Not Proud of My Behavior
9. People with Nothing Better to Do
10. Nice Jewish Boys with Guns
11. With All Due Respect, You Must Be on Crack
12. Making Peace
Acknowledgments
A Note on Permissions
Index