How to Know Anyone at a Glance

137 Pages·2010·6.65 MB·English

Howt oK nowA nyonaeta G lance
ByB arbaRroab erts
©CopyrigBhatr baRroab erJtusn,e2 009A.l rl ighrtess ervNeodp .a rotft himsa nuamla yb er e­
producienad n ym annesrt,o roerdt ,r ansmiitnat neydf oromr b ya nym eanse:l ectcr,mo encihani­
calo ro thenviinscel,u dpihnogt ocorpeyc ordoirna gn yi nformasttioornaa gnedr etrisey\s·taelm
withomuyt w rittpeenr msii on.
BarbaraR oberts
Healianngd I nsigPhutb lishers
1106e condt .,u it#e2 27 EnciniCtAa s9,2 024 (76407)9 -0008
• •
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ISB # 978-0-615-29798-9
RegisteLriebdr aorfCy o ngreJsusl:2y 0,0 9
Firesdti tiPorni.n tienUd n iteSdt ates.
TABLEO FC ONTENST
OpenLientgt .e.r . . . 5
QuestiaonAndns s w.e r .6
StorTiheaFsta cTeelsl . 11
Howt oB egin
CultiavnUa ntdee rstHaenad.ri tn g 25
BasPirci nc.i p.l es. . . . . . . . . 25
Howt o SayY oWuSh e.aet . . ... . . 26
FacFieaatlu -rDersa wiPnhgosta,on sPd,s ychoMleoagincianlg s
HinftroQs u icLke arn.i ng... . .. . . 27
.
HaiTerx tu-rYeosuSre cret S.en.si.t.iv..i .ty. . 28
HaiCro ls-oDregreFel aaoinfrDd r ama . . . . . 2.9 . .
YourT hinkSitny-glT eenF oreheSahda paensLd i n.e s 30
HowY ouS eYeou rW or-lEdye.s. 35
ActiOorni enotrP elda nEnyeerl ids. 41
TruIssts utehsLe o iwneE ryA er ea. 42
Eyebr-oDwesg reFer niodefl i.n ess 44
Chee-kPse rsonala nWFdae remltihn g 49
Nos-eYsouFri nanPcoeitnatl.i a.l. . 51
Lip-Rso manacneId n timQuaoctyi .e nt 55
Teet-hF amiolfOy r igIisns u.e s. 58
EaHre igMhatrsk,i anngLdso ,b es . . . . 61
Chiunp. ! . . . . .. .. .. .... . . . 65
Jasw-HowY ouM ovFeor wairnd Wtohrel d 67
Mole.s. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . 69
FaicaSlh ap.es. . .. . . .. . . . . . . 71
FaciFaealt uRreev i(eDwr awoifn gAsl l) . 72
FaciFaela taunrYdeou s. . . . . . . . . . 75
Carto-Doantsi Cnagr,e Mearrsr,i Sahgoep,p. i ng 77
ThrSeeec toifo nFtsah c-eeT hinkEimnogt,iW oinlsl, 81
2
IndivRiedaudai.ln. . g s . .. . . '82
.
MothaenrSd o Fna cRee ad.i ng 85
Prn�.cr. .. .. ...... 86
.
Roman-cHeowt oC hooYsoeuS ro uMla te .1 00
Puttiitn Tgoa glhelet -rCompatiCbhialritt y .1 02
WherIen ner anCdh aOlultSeehnrogiw ent s h Fea ce .1 03
HealotrIh l lnFeaiscasIl?n dic.a to.r s. . . . . .1 05
BusianneMdsa sn agement
Howt oR ead Your (EBmopsslF)soa y'ceee 's .1 07
The yjoowube rBeo rtnod o(!C arTeypeer.s ) .1 13
YouPre rsSoanfaSelct ay n
DangeFraocuFiseaa tlu res . .1 16
ChalleFnagciFineaagtl u res .1 20
Whayto uOrw nF ace aRlesv e
EyRea dia.n c.e . . . .1 21
FacRee adSihnogSr tto ries .1 23
Howt oC ontBaacrtb ara. .1 34
AbotuhtAe u th.o r. .. . .1 35
WhenG eorWgaes hingCtaornv tehr,me a nw ho
crea2t0ed0p r odfurcotmtsh pee anwuats)a skehdo w
hed itdh ihser epli"eljdy)ol uo vseo metheinnogu gh)
itw ilslh awriety ho ua lilt sse crets."
3
4
DeaFrr idesn, Jul2y0,0 9
Youfra ctee lls tyhoeu lresi .tLf iokraeyt r aocfik nte hre WOesltde,e v rything
itsh efrosero mewohnoek nohwosw t ol ooWkh.ow ea riers e coridnoe udbr o days
ouFra cFieaatlu Trhepseu. r poofts hebi osoi kts og i vaec cusrpaetcepi,sf yicchc oallo gi
meanifnoerga scF hac iFaealt uwrhej,wc hhe anp pltioseo dm ewointtehh f aaett uwriel,l
helupst ob etutnedre rtshteaAmnn.dde veonu rselves!
WheInfi rbsetc aimnet erienFs atcReeed a diinn19 g8 5I,r eatdh2 e0 b0o oks on
thteo pIiwtca .cs o unsnfigt om et htahtpe s ychomleoagniicfanrotlg h sse a mFea cial
Featucroeub leod p poisndi itfef beoroeLknistka. me o le otnio pftt hhneeos e-inha lf
of btohoesk asii mtde a"nbta rnukpt"Tc hyoe.t hhearsl afii mtde a"nfti naanbcuina­l
dancIect.o "u lbdebn o'ttSh ou! s imnytg raiinnci lnignm iecdairlce asle (aUrCcShD ),
Is outghodte vealnao cpc uarnardte ep eastyasbtolefpems ychomleoagniicwnahglis c h
woulhodn poero polfae le lt hgnriocu apgsea,sn gde ndIenr s.s t6u,d0yfi0can0eg s ,
teac3h0iC0nl ga sasnewdso ,r kwiintlghi s vteu aduidoi einnsco em5se0n ational/local
TVS howpse,o phlaevve a lidtahtepessdey chomleoagniictnaobgl eas c cufroatrth ee m,
thecior- wrosra,kn efdma ilTiheosu.tg hhbe o oski iztseh iIcn o,n detnhsfereo mda tto
bea w orkbionoskt eaan da rroadft iisvceuo sfFs aicRoeen a dMiyn gg.o atloa lwlaosw
yotuo b ea blteoo petnh e book aunnydweheryrsoetu arna ndsd mp ootuhseer,- in-law,
daugohrtb eors s.
Wel ook at otrheeasrlesle ytiw hniegtAm hf.ot rueetra dtihnigs book, you will see
the.Om thewrhsob, e fowroeuh ladv bee esnt rantgoyeo,run so w become very know­
_
ablAesy. o du eveyloouaprc curwaictyh ptshyecshceoa llo-gvaiisssueaslss kmielnlts ,
mayy ouhre aorptet nou ndertshtuean ndde rflatycoiwrnhsgi mcahk pee opbleeh ave
int hwea ytsh edyoA .n dw itthhm iasyy ofuee l compagsesnitolnie nhna oenwysd os u
approyaocuhra sneodlt fh ers.
Mym antyh atnoMk asr garete nwchoousreaa gnecdmo emnptu ter thheilsp made
boopko ssTihbalnek.Rs o btbwoih eo esdei tainpndhg o fitnod inagg rweaaassts A entd.
tomy s iswtheorss pei rsiutpupaholarh ste lmpeet dh roughotuhtay.no ktuA oa n lmdly
manfyir enwdhsoc ontrpihbouattnoeydsdo utri mFern:aT, a shBae,l Mliak,Ae n,t onio,
AaroNna,n cBye,nB ,l aakneMd a risaa,nJtdah Lneoe Ru,u bfimani lAyn.dah eaerlttf,
spectihaaln JkesfC fat loc wahrowa e natb oavnebd e yotnofdro maatn udp grtahdee
tecxotpo yft hbioso k!
Blestsoyi onaugn syd o ufmrai ly,
5
QUESTIAONNDSA NSWERS
INTRE:VE:IWW IT5HA RBARRAO BETRS
Howd iydo ub ecomien tereisnt edc arornhy i wso rakn tdo t eaictMh.y
FacRee ading? ownfc aei sn aorwrt,h pes ychological
meanionfwg h iicsh" gifbtuestdh y."
WhenI mmeytfi rstte acah er,
Thte houogtfhe ta cmhaidnmege w ant
worlfmado upss ychoalnodfgc aies t
toh idbee hitnhsdeo fa.
readmeyr ,p ersonwaalsiv teyr y
scienatnidlfi ocg iTchaecl o.n coefp t
Whadti ydo u(rM idwestern)
readsionmge ofncaee'w sa s" pretty
famitlyh ionyfko ud oiFnag ce
outt herfero " me.o pHeen heids
Reading?
clabsyas s kiianfng y ownaen ttehde ir
Thfier tsitmI e w oanNs B CN ightly
facree aIdp .o ppuepd mhya nadn d
Newmsy,t win barw oetlkhlne orw,n
notincooe ndee l sev owlausn teering.
Intercnailslte,dt os maey" ,\ 1\That
Iw ondewrheadt gIe twtamisyn sge lf
arey oud oi?n!g!My" conservative
into. He tpotr eolclte wemdeeen dt y
upbrinmgaidmneeg c rinwgheeh ne
thianbgosmu ytl ei faolfwl h iwcehr e
madteh seo u"n0d0 -EE-f0r0o"m
10 0°/aoc curHaet ew.e nttod oto hni s
thTewi liZgohntIe t .h outghhatt the
witehv eryiontn hreeo om.
concoefCp atl if(omryn ihao me) as the
LatIes rh,o wheidam phoofmt yo lanodfr "ufiatnnsdu ts"c ownafisr med
ftaheHri.is m medireastpeo wnasse,
agaiinhn i bsr ain.
"Youftrah er awnoa rsp hwaans,n 't
LasFtaal thl ihso mieni llihneo is,
he"?T ruTeh.e hnew, e notnt o analyze
haadp arftroty h deo ctaonsrdts fa orfmf
myd ads'msi lsilnsight,a peeyde( sa n
hicsl iIna isck.he idwm h ahtew anted
unusfuaeatlu fruoen di np eopwlheo
haveem otiopnualllbleaydcf koo rn e met ot etlhleI md ifdro lai viitfnh ge y
ask(edIdi .d wna'nttt oe m barhriams)s.
reasooran n ot.h eHgrae)v dee taoifl s
Hes aid, r"ihIgttT'.hs e yar'levlae d
howda dc'hsa llteofnro gmee m otional
youbro ok.I d Aonncd'a trw eh ayto u
connecwtaisro enflse ctmeydo wni n
tetlhlea mb otuhte bmu,wt h etnh egyo ,
FacFieaalt ures Ica onudhl edha olw
I wtaohn eta erv etrhying!"
thiHsi.ps e rsoinnaslih gehltpmsee d
toh eamlyr elatiwointmshyhf taihpe r
Anda t ptahredt oyc,t aonrsdst aff
befohrede i eIdt .h ou"g\,Yhhta,t ever
enthusilaisntueiptdc o aa lslky t moe
thmiasn knIwo awnstt,ok noiwt !" fcaer eapdh otoofts h ekiird s.
Aftsert udywiinthghi mf ro a
fewy eahresg ,a vmee h ibsl estsoi ng
6
Whadto y oul oofko wrh eyno u superfiacnidda ils cotvhedere eper
firslto oakts orneonfea'cse ? persionns ide.
Youl oofrokt hfier fisvtfe ae tures
Whaatb opult asstuircyg ?er
that amroesp trt ohmei nIetmni tg.h t
Botox?
bet hfien e, bhlaoionrrd, e h eayzeesl,
orl oenag rloorba e stm,io nuytI hnm. y FaciFaealt ufrlaeilsn tthor teyep es:
systeevmet rhyimnega nsso mething
1F)ea tuwrheisac php eaatbr i rth.
psycholoYgoiuci anltleyr.tp hree t
Exampmliegsbh etl: o negal ro bae s,
faetuyroesuse e.
higfhro ehecaldos,se et oeray t ehsi n
Whena ne motitoennadle insc yu ppIei rpo ,rh azeeyle s.
strionng ct hhaaecr tiewtri ,al plp ear
2)F eaturwehsi crhe flehcotwa
inm anayr eoafst hpee rsfocane'.s
persloinkt eols o oTkh.i cso uld be
Converisfea l fyae,t u(rpee rhaps
changoinnehg'a sic ro lforrob mr own
witanh e gative smheoaownnsil nyg )
tob londweh.e InOt re aactMh a cyI' s
oncyeo,iu g notrheafa ett uHriet.l er,
refteo#r 2 asst hweh obloet tfloomo r of
fore xamphlaedm, a ny consistent
CliniqueR,e vMlTAohnCic.,sa tegory
faeturae sp:a tcmhu sta(cthhee
refleapc etrss sopni'rsi t.
meanionfg whiispc ahr anaonidd
3)F eaturceasu sbeyda ccidents,
fulolfr age,)s mvaeelralyr ( st he
surgermieelsa,n oomrat,h odontia.
meanionfwg h iicsnh a rcisasnids tic
Thesree fleocutt siindfleu etnhcaets
dangeraonuds ,ea)yn te o nweh ich
altoenrea 'ppse ara(nPcleas.su trigce ry
was comleda ann.d
woubled# 3).
Whaatb oeutth nfieca tuHroews ?
Whaifty ouc ani'dte nyt wifhich
doy our eatdh ose?
onoef t hfeo reheoard sl. i.po.sr
WheIn seAefr iacna n-American
eartsh pee rshoanis n t hibso ok?
'
AsioarnH ispapneircs on, I assume
TheInu ,s uailglnyot rhee area of
thewyi lhla vber ow(nb lahcaki)r
hifsca ew hiicushn cl(efaroa erh etahda t
anbdr oweny easst hoasrefe ae tures
appebaortsshq uaarnerd o uantdt he
which coamrmeo fnro s omeoonfe
samtei maen)sd t aratn ootpnha errt of
those ethnic( Hboawcekvgerro,u nds.
hifsca e- knowtihntaght ue n derlying
oncIe s awb lueey esa m iannf rom
personwailleilxt pyr eevsesr ywhere.
Calcuaft aettau,tr hewa atss i gnificant
Ands omFeac iFaealt uarrehesa rder
int hree adbiencga iuts seo ir sa re.)
toa sstehsason t hersb.r owh(nia .ier.
SoI,i gnoarneyfa e turtehsam ti ght
-ac lefaaert uvrse. sma-lnlo t ears
ber elattoae nde thcn biackground
aso bviaosui sth atso b em easured)
anldo ofrokF acFieaalt tuhrmaeatsk e
Them ore unafu aestuuatrlhe me,o re
thpaetr ssopni riatnuedam loltyi onally
accuirwtai tbleelp s ychologically.
speciaglo.ai JstT oh ebg eoy otnhde
7
Havyeo ue vesre eanf acoef mei nt hpea rking lot, "What were you
som.eownheo s caryeodu ? doinYgoud? i dsna'aytn ything?!"
Oncaet l aarp gaerI tw yar se ading Latecra lDIle endia snegda vhee r
gueassst osm e sotfu mdyen netasr bsyam.ty n ot-so-oppoisniaitboionvtu eht e
Int hfier ssetv peeno pwlhea t said romanmtaitccf ohhr e re,n couraging
we
aboutth eliirv weassa lmo1s00t° /o hetrob acokuo tra tle atsatkh eet ri me
accurTahteaenm . a ns adto wwni th befcoroem mitttohi inmg.
higsi rlf(rsai teundodemf ni tnc eu)d dled
"Wehlehl a,s mhajaocdro ncussions
nexttoh imS.h e,c ooufrw saen,t ed
andbr asicna nssh,ce"o nfid"eAdn.d
toh eaar g lowvianlgi doaftt ihoeni r
hei so nH aldoml ed(iac aftroi on
compatAibsIi s ltiatrtyth.ree ed a ding,
psychbousItil so)vh,ei mI.w antto
nothIis nawgia das c cufrroah tiem . He
marhriym ."
hagdr owunpi nt hien nceirot fNy e w
Yoraks poafag r atn g, (lIa tbehuret)a rd If rogoatb otuhtui nste iilgy heta rs
wheInt ohlid tmh ahte, denSioe,d laitetrw. h eInr eceaip vheodcn aefl rmlo
.
Ii nwaradslkfyero dc larTihtewy o.r d Arkansas.
"Maficaa"m aec romsyi sn nseirg ht.
"Yomui ghnto t remember me,"
Theren oww aasyI w oupludmt y self
Denibseeg a"nB.uIw t a ntteotd ey lolu
orm ys tudseanftaestrt' iy Is lk o!o kate d
what hapIpm eanrerdhi.ie dma ,n d
hiamn sda i"dY,o u kIdn oonws',et e m
we'irnAe r kanastta hse p.r itHsreoi ned
tob ea blteod ot hfirosy ou.s oIr'rmy .
to stmreaa nnkgdil mleydl a ughYtoeur .
Pleaascec ept your money back." He
werseor ight."
wasst unTnheerd e.a dfiront ghsle a st
Iw as ssoort rohy e ahre nre ws.
sevgeune wsetraseg a1i0 0n° /aoc curate.
Beirniggi hstan l'wtas yows o nderful.
A veruyn ussueasls iinovno lved
Denias set,u dfeornmtt hcel aosns Yout alakb ouitn tuiHtoiwoi ns.
RomanacneRd e latiownhsohh aidp st,h ihse lpfiunFl a cRee adiAnngd?
invihteefirda ncseoe cwoeu rleda d howd oeosn ede veliotp?
theciorm patiAbshi ele inttyet.rh eed
Threaer tew poa rotfasFc R eea ding.
rooms,a wI his euasnrhu aspueasl,
Thefi rspta rItc altlh"e s cieonfc e"
sevesrcea rarcirntogsh cseh eehkiss,
Face Re-aedvienFrgay c iFaela ture
vacagnatzu en,i barnotdwi mnoyu th.
haasp sycholmoegaincianTlgh (ast)'.s
My first wtahs"o,Iu 'tgmhth eet a cher.
cuatn dd rieYodu.i deyn stpiefcific
Itm'ysr otloke e etph cilsas sasf e."
visfuaeatlu ornes so meofncaeea',ns d
Id iwdh aIct a al" lT eflroena"d intgh e(nu stihnbigos o yko)u, ulpot ohke
-wherIte a ilnkg eneraalnidsta iye sm ean(i.snW )gitthh astk iallloy noeu
notheiintghp eors iotrin veeg ativcea.bn e 8 0-85°a/coc uirnar teea dai ng
Afttehrce o uplleeefv te,r ymoonbeb ed perscohna'rsa cter.
8
Howevae rm,u chd eepleerv els essfieroqnu eIsn ttotlpyoa sk a client
ofF acRee adiinnvgo wlhvaeItsc all "Itsh tirsau beo yuotu" ?
"weaviwnhgi,ic"shp utttiongge ther
Iyfo uwro rrdesfl terciuten tuition,
multiinpdliev Fiadcuiaall tFoe atures
thebye a"rg ofourdi -tm"e antihnegy
makaew hoclhea raacntaelrTy hsiiss .
refltercut-t whh etthhetero pfirotc h e
invoilnvteusiw thiiIocc nha, tl hl"e a "r t
persinosen g aotrpi voes itive.
ofl ookaitsn ogm eoTnod ee.v etlhoips
onfeco usoenss eewiingtt hh hee art. Also,t rwiuinett hu tihtpeie orns on
As LeP rPiesntaciiet"d O,n wliytt hh e doitnhgre e adfieenlagsd efindieteep,
heacraton n see cel early." feelionfpg e amcoev itnhgr ohuigsh
heartm iannTddh. e riesa na ctual,
Ic atllhi insn seirg bhetc,a iuts e
physiecxaple rioefna c es ubtle,
goes idnetteohpu e n seaennrd e veals
energweatvtiehc ca atb ne f lewti thin
insiagbhottuhstpe e rsloeins f'ist uation.
thhee acretn itofen rie qs u iet.
Tob e corarleicgttnlotey hd i osn,e 's
fcoumsu sbte goinv ihnega lainndg Whecno mbiinnidnigv Fiadcuiaall
insingohtt ,c roirjt uidcgimsemn t. Feattuomr aeksae na ccucrhaatrea cter
readoifan c gl iseonmte,t Ii'msleelse
Intuiitsai sokni alnly one can
whaItd escarsia cb rea sbh aFpaec:t s
develEovpesr.uy c cepsesrfsuuoslne s
abotuhtpe e rsaoranett hcee natnedr
itc onsciooruu nscloyn scMiyo usly.
thien tuictoimooeun (tsl ilkietl telges ).
fvaorsitteoi rlyl usttrhaiistsfo ri mn g
Itfh feca tasr ter uteh,et nhi en tuitions
thBei bBlaebJ.ye siubssr ouignhtttho e
thfalotl oawra el tsrou e.
Tempblye Maarnyd JoAs ebplhi.n d,
olJde wimsahnp rocltahiem stb haeb y In loaotok tihneigirt iss m ,p ortant
"Messfiraohhmi"i s n nseirg ht. tob ea waorfae n d gloe aton fmy e ntal
prjeudiocren se gatcirviet iwcei sms
Howi si ntuidtifiefornefr notm havaeb out Tthhidesom e.s mne'atn
imaginaotrhi aovni ans gt rong that whea vddeio snc'rti maibnoautti on
opiniaobno suotm eone? goovds . beuvitdti o le,s tmhewaaetn
aroep etnol istteon iwnhgo a roet.h ers
Firwsitt,h real "Tihnet uition,
proioisfnt hpeu dd"i noIgtn.hw eorr ds, Oftewnea, r neo atw arteh awte
wheny out ell sosmoemoenteh ihnagv e criotfoi tchiesbrmessc, a use
spectihfiencyo,a d n tde yloltu h yaotu r wea rseo e motiohnaabliltyut aot ed
percepitsai cocnu rfraot thee liirf e.o uorw nw ayosft hinngkA.i simple
Intuiinsto istop ne cuolrav taigvuee . exampLleets:'a syy o ufrca er eading
cliheanjstu psutht i bse lodvoegd to
Thew ayIk notwh pes ychological
sleaenpdy, o ua rec aalt o vAenrd.
meaniinntg hsi s abraoeco cku risa te
when wyeorauec hiylodwu,e rbei tten
thatth ousoafn dpse hoapvsleae it n
bya fi erdcoeg S.ow hetnh e person
froonfmt e v alidtahteiDmnu.gr ian g
9