How to Kick Someone’s Ass: 246 Ways to Take the Bastards Down

161 Pages·2010·2.24 MB·English

by  E.R. Silverman

HOW TO
KICK
— SOMEONE'S —
ASS
246 PRACTICAL
— but not always legal —

WAYS TO TAKE THE BASTARDS DOWN
E. R. SILVERMAN
Copyright © 2010 by E. R. Silverman
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
Published by
Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com
ISBN 10: 1-60550-629-X
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-629-6
eISBN 10: 1-4405-0715-5
eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0715-1
Printed in the United States of America.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.
Certain sections of this book deal with activities that would be in violation of various federal, state,
and local laws if actually carried out. We do not advocate the breaking of any law. The authors,
Adams Media, and F+W Media, Inc. do not accept liability for any injury, loss, legal consequence,
or incidental or consequential damage incurred by reliance on the information or advice provided
in this book. This information in this book is for entertainment purposes only.
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DISCLAIMER
The contents of this book are intended solely for entertainment purposes.
Due to possible injuries to yourself or others, you should not try to
implement any of the ideas mentioned in the book.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to Mike, a fly anywhere helicopter pilot, who gave me a crash
course on how to maneuver an OH-58 during one of our operations. Just
in case he became disabled in the air, he wanted the illusion of making it
safely to the ground for medical aid, in which case the instructions were
to find a very large, and very soft, cow pasture to drop it in, “cuz we may
bounce a few times.” It was only afterward that he explained to me that
“helicopters don't really fly, they just beat the air into submission.” I'm not
sure if that was meant as encouragement, but it was an adrenaline-filled
time in my life.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
LOCATION 1
THE BAR
LOCATION 2
ON THE ROAD
LOCATION 3
THE GYM
LOCATION 4
THE GAME
LOCATION 5
SOCIAL FUNCTIONS
LOCATION 6
THE HOME
LOCATION 7
ON VACATION
LOCATION 8
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
LOCATION 9
THE OFFICE
LOCATION 10
THE GREAT OUTDOORS
DEBRIEFING
INTRODUCTION
There are plenty of reasons to want to kick some ass. Maybe your
spouse ran away with your best friend and now you have fantasies of
stuffing an angry cobra in his briefcase. Or perhaps that new coworker
you helped out turned around and stole your ideas — securing himself a
promotion while leaving you high and dry. Or maybe you have to go on
the defensive and respond to some angry meathead who's trying to be a
tough guy. Whatever the case may be, you have a lot of ass-kicking
options.
Split up by location and then broken down by particular situations, you'll
find more than 200 ways to respond to all the backstabbers and
Neanderthals, a-holes and wannabes, punks and pricks who think they
can get the better of you. Whether your attack needs to be physical or
mental, immediate or planned out, you'll find some serious inspiration in
the following pages.
As a former government agent, I've survived many hairy situations. In
order to make it out in one piece, I needed to be prepared. You need to
be prepared as well. You need to be physically and mentally tough
enough to take on your Target and succeed in taking him down. Think
you have what it takes? Reading this book is your first step to being
prepared.
Now let's get a move on.
LOCATION 1
THE BAR
Can't a guy go out to a bar and get a drink in peace anymore? Seems
like every time you drop into one of these places, some kind of ruckus
starts up. Maybe you got bumped in the crowd and accidentally spilled
your drink on the guy next to you — not really your fault. But hey, you
don't even have to be part of a dispute to get swept up in a conflict. You
could have been quietly sipping your favorite libation, checking out the
local scenery, chatting with some friends, when — Wham — some idiot
decides to make it personal.
Here are a few Ways to get out of the worst situations at your local
watering hole. Sure beats lying on the floor looking up at the paramedics.
SCENARIO
YOU ACCIDENTALLY SPILL YOUR DRINK ON A GUY
AND HE COMES CHARGING AT YOU….
KARATE ROUNDHOUSE KICK Your nonkicking foot is positioned
solidly on the floor for balance and your arms and hands are in the
defensive position. Spin slightly on the ball of your nonkicking foot so
your body is sideways to his. Plant that back heel into the floor. Your
kicking leg is raised until it is parallel with the ground and your kicking