How to Forgive When You Can't: The Breakthrough Guide to Free Your Heart & Mind

391 Pages·2011·1.18 MB·English

by  Dr. Jim Dincalci

HOW TO
Forgive
WHEN YOU
CAN’T

by DR. JIM DINCALCI
Copyright ©2010 by James Dincalci. All rights reserved under
the International and Pan-American Copyright Convention.
Second printing
Publisher: The Forgiveness Foundation, a 501c3 non-profit charity
11312 US 15-501 N, Suite 107-4, Chapel Hill, NC 27517
www.ForgivenessFoundation.org
The material in this book may not be copied or reproduced in any form, in
whole or in part, without the express permission of the author or The
Forgiveness Foundation. Send requests for permission to use the material in this
book to the Permissions Department, The Forgiveness Foundation, at the address
above; or fax to 262-244-3823; or to:
TABLE OF CONTENTS
DEDICATION
CONTENTS
FOREWORD
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
PART 1 - Opening to a Different Way
The Opening
Stages and Phases of Forgiveness
The Very First Step Is
The Search for What Works
Facing Deep Trauma
1 - How It Works
The Best-kept Secret
The Types of Forgiveness
The Myths of Forgiveness
The Forgiveness Battle
The Effects of Trauma and High Stress
The War of the Brains
Quieting the Stressed System
Success in Forgiving
2 - What Forgiving Really Is
How Do You Know You Have Really Forgiven?
Justice and Punishment
Effects of Hostility
Important Points for Effective Forgiving
Always Be Aware Of…
The First Essential Aspect
The Major Barrier to Forgiving
Forgiving Big Issues
The Key Question
The First Hurdle
3 - The Blocks to Forgiving
The Myths of Forgiveness
The Second Hurdle
4 - The Proven Benefits of Forgiving
Research Results
Forgiveness Therapy Results
Increased Energy and Uplifted Spirits
Changes in Others
Happier Relationships
Positive Results with Children
Dealing with Marriage and New Relationships
Physical Healing
Hope
The Seldom Used Act That Brings Big Results:
The Simplest Forgiveness Practice
Hope for Humankind
The Third Hurdle
PART II - Going Deeper
5 - Making Sense of Our Thinking
Why Habits Are Hard to Break
How the Brain Works Best
6 - Breaking Out of Prison
Dealing with Emotional Pain
The Overlooked Aid for Empowering Yourself:
The Deadly Rules, Judgements and Expectations
7 - Making Forgiving Easier
The Best Strategy for Difficult Situations
A Technique to Make Forgiveness Go Faster
Getting Needs and Wants Met
The Secret Attitude That Aids Forgiving
The Overlooked Brain Function
How to Change Your Inner Experience
The Secrets of Forgiveness Work
8 - The Power behind Forgiving
The Core of Our Being
Love and Forgiveness
Our Healthiest State of Mind
Real Healing
How to Empower Yourself and Others
9 - Working on Upsets
Vital Steps and Actions to Remember
PART III - The Truth behind the Resistance
10 - Forgiving Permanently
Our Mind’s Defenses that Prevent Forgiving
Making Forgiveness Permanent
Awareness of Defense Mechanisms Is Not Enough
Stressed Thinking That Sabotages Forgiving
11 - Self-Forgiveness and Empowerment
The Keys to Self-Forgiveness
Guilt, Pain and Punishment
Dealing with Inner Conflict
The Cycle of Victimhood and Guilt
Help in Gaining Self-forgiveness
12 - Dealing with Stress and Trauma
The Signs of Stress Overload and Exhaustion
Pain
Dealing with Family Burnout
What Do Trauma Survivors Need to Know?
Trauma’s Long-Term Consequences – PTSD
Forgiving and PTSD
Compassion Fatigue
How and Why Self-Forgiveness Helps
Trauma and Forgiveness
PART IV - Doing the Work
13 - Successful Preparations
Review of Secrets & Essentials of Forgiving
The Principles of Power Forgiveness
Preparing for the Process
14 - The Power Forgiveness Process
Part 1 – Facing the Unforgiven In Your Life
Part 2 – Working on an Incident
Part 3 – Transformation
PART V – After the Process
15 - Continued Healing
After Deep Change
16 - The Ultimate Result
Appendix
NOTES
BIBLIOGRAPHY
PERMISSIONS
INDEX
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Successes From People Who Work With Clients
SIGNED BOOK - ORDER FORM
___________________________________________________