How to Cheat at Cleaning

240 Pages·2007·116.425 MB·English

by  Jeff Bredenberg

neludes 10 Things to Quit Cleanin
•
Time-Slashing TechniqueS
to Cut Corners
and Restore Your Sanity
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Text © 2007 by jeff Bredenberg
Illustrations © 2007 by The Taunton Press, Inc.
All rights reserved.
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The Taunton Press
The Taunton Press, Inc., 63 South Main Street, PO Box 5506, Newtown, CT 06470'5506
e·mail: [email protected]
Editor: Pamela Hoenig/Erica Sanders·Foege
Cover design: Howard Grossman
Front cover: Photo by jeffrey Krein
Illustrator: joel Holland
Library of Congress Cataloging·in·Publication Data
Bredenberg, jeff.
How to cheat at cleaning: time·slashing techniques to cut corners and restore your sanity /
jeff Bredenberg.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN'13: 978'1'56158.870'1 (alk. paper)
ISBN'10: 1'56158.870'9 (alk. paper)
1. House cleaning. I. Title.
TX324·B7442007
648' ·5··dc22
Printed in the United States of America
109 8 7 6 543 21
The following manufacturers/names appearing in How To Cheat at Cleaning are trademarks:
sM
1·8oo·GOT·jUNK?SM, American Kennel Club , Barney®, Bayer® Advanced (lawn care), Benjamin Moore®
Decorator White, Clorox®, Country Save® (detergent), Crock·Pot®, Dixie® Tabletop, DuPont®, eBaySM,
sM SM
Edmunds.com , Eudora®, Federal Express , Fine Cooking®, Foreman® grill, Fresh2® (light bulb), Glis·
ten®, Google™, Holy COW™ (cleaning products), Hoover0, Hot Bags®, House Beautiful®, House Doctors
SM
Handyman Service , Hummel®, iPod™, iRobot®, jet·Dry®, Jiffy® Steamer brand, K&N® filter (for cars),
SM sM sM
Lamborghini®, Lego®, Mac®, MacGyver , Martin® guitar, Merry Maids , Microsoft , Mr. Clean AutoDry
SM
Carwash®, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser0, Naugahyde®, Oreo® cookie, Outlook®, Oxi·Clean®, PetSmart ,
Pilkington® (self·clean ing windows), Popsicle®, Reynolds® (foil manufacturer), Rolls·Royce®, Roomba®,
Salvation ArmysM, Scooba®, ScoopFree™ (litter box), Scotchgard®, Spandex®, Speedo®, Swiffer0, Tefion®,
sM
The Clothing Doctor0 (Steve Boorstein), The Container Store®, The Maids Home Services , Thomas
the Tank Engine®, Thompson's Water Seal®, Tide to Go® (stain remover), Toss·n·GoTM ball, Windows®
(operating system), Wite·Out®, Woolite®
FOR GLADYS BREDEN BERG.
Mom, maybe you shouldn't read any further.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The author is grateful for the invaluable expertise of the following sources:
Shannon Ackley C. Lee Cawley Joni Hilton
professional organizer, professional organizer, creator of Holy Cow
Shelton, Connecticut Alexandria, Virginia cleaning products,
Sacramento, California
Jennifer Armentrout Alan Cook
test kitchen manager entrepreneur, inventor of Roy Hinrichs
and recipe editor for Fine self-cleaning cat litter box, Internet technology manager,
Cooking magazine, Chicago, Illinois Fort Worth, Texas
Newtown, Connecticut
Rashelle Cooper Jon Hoch
Alexander Barco product buyer for PetSmart, founder, Pressure Washers
service technician, Computer Phoenix, Arizona Direct, Romeoville, Illinois
Medic, Dublin, Pennsylvania
Pamela Dalton, Ph.D Ingrid Johnson
Chris Barry odor scientist, Monell professor at the Fash ion
engineer for specialty glass Chemical Senses Center, Institute ofTechnology in
manufacturer Pilkington, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania New York City
Toledo, Ohio
Jeff Dross Kerul Kassel
Sandra Beckwith product manager and trend productivity consultant,
writer and speaker on gender analyst for Kichler Lighting, Saint Cloud, Florida
differences and male behavior, Cleveland, Ohio
Dana Korey
author of Why Can't a Man
Mary Findley professional organizer,
Be More Like a Woman?,
president, Mary Moppins Co., Del Mar, Ca lifo rn ia
Fairport, New York
Eugene, Oregon
Alexandra Krost
Steve Boorstein
Evan Galen film crew worker,
a.k.a. The Cloth ing Doctor,
architect, New York City Richmond, Virginia
author of The Ultimate Guide
Charles Gerba, Ph.D Melissa Laiserin
to Shopping and Caring
microbiologist at the dog behavior expert for
for Clothing and proprietor of
University of Arizona, Tucson PetSmart, Phoenix, Arizona
www.clothingdoctor.com.
Glen Echo, Maryland Joe Grant Alisa LeSueur
owner, Computer Medic, executive director of the
Boy Scout Troop 320
Dublin, Pennsylvania American Association of Rain
in the suburbs of
Carrying System Installation
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Tom Gustin
Specialists, San Antonio, Texas
product manager for Merry
Pamela Brown, Ph.D
Maids cleaning service, Alexandria Lighty
professor at the Texas
Memphis, Tennessee owner, House Doctors Handy
Cooperative Extension, Texas
man Service, New York City
A&M University, Lubbock, Texas Elizabeth Hagen
professional organizer, Robert R. Matheson, Ph.D.
Cynthia Braun
Sioux Falls, South Dakota technical manager for strategic
professional organizer,
technology for DuPont Perfor
Lake Grove, New York Rachel Hepner
mance Coatings, Troy, Michigan
spokesperson for specialty
Dorothy Burling
glass manufacturer Pilkington,
retiree, Mishawaka, Indiana
Toledo, Ohio
Janet Nelson Charlotte Reed Jen Singer
a Ross, Iowa-based pet care expert, New York City parenting writer and a
spokesperson forThe stay-at-home mom,
Philip Reed
Maids Home Services Kinnelon, New Jersey
senior consumer advice
Susan Newman, Ph.D. editor for Edmunds.com, Erik Sjogren
social psychologist at Rutgers Santa Monica, California senior brand manager for Dixie
University, author of The Book Tabletop, Atlanta, Georgia.
Trey Rogers, Ph.D.
of No: 250 Ways to Say It-and
professor of turf grass manage Sarah Smock
Mean It, Metuchen, New Jersey
ment, Michigan State Univer spokesperson for Merry
Lindsay Peroff sity, East Lansing, Michigan. Maids cleaning service,
spokesperson for Memphis, Tennessee
Brian Sansoni
1-8oo-GOT-JUNK?, Vancouver,
vice president of the Soap Judi Sturgeon
British Columbia, Canada
and Detergent Association, professional house
Lisa Peterson Washington, DC. cleaner and home health aid,
Newton, Connecticut-based Ambler, Pennsylvania
Victoria Scarborough, Ph.D.
spokesperson for the
director of research and devel Brad Turner
American Kennel Club
opment for Thompson's Water plant manager for the Commu
J. Winston Porter, Ph.D. Seal, Olive Branch, Mississippi nications Factory, Mantua, Ohio
president of the Waste Policy
Pat Schweitzer Lance Walheim
Center consulting organization
senior home economist for Exeter, California-based horti
in Leesburg, Virginia,
Reynolds Consumer Products, culturalist and garden expert for
and former assistant adminis
Richmond, Virginia Bayer Advanced lawn care and
trator of the Environmental
pest control products company
Alissa Shanley
Protection Agency
landscape and garden Deborah Wiener
Jay M. Portnoy, M.D.
designer, Denver, Colorado. interior designer,
chief of allergy, asthma,
Silver Spring, Maryland
Courtney Shaver
and immunology at the
public relations coordinator, the JeffZbar
Children's Mercy Hospital,
Container Store, Coppell, Texas a.k.a. The Chief Home
Kansas City, Missouri
Officer, home office consultant,
Co~ISprings,Florida
*
The author would like to acknowledge the following print sources
and those associated with them:
Consumer Reports, a valuable source of expert guidance about products.
Susan Strasser for her inspiring, scholarly history of American housework, Never Done.
Tim Vine of the newspaper The Scotsman, for his slightly less scholarly but nevertheless
inspiring account of how to make your bed without getting out of it.
*
The author also is grateful for the contributions of executive editor Pam Hoenig,
assistant editor Katie Benoit, the rest of the staff at The Taunton Press,
and agent Linda Konner.
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7
~ PERFECTIONISM LAUNDRY GOT You ~
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REWRITING THE RULES YOUR YOUR DESK AND *
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:i:.+.:.: WINNING THE PAPER CHASE
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LET YOUR CLEANING
THE GREAT OUTDOORS:
€~,',) TOOLS Do THE WORK
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DECKS, SIDEWALKS,
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11 DRIVEWAYS, GUTTERS,
SIDING, WINDOWS, ~
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CLUTTE? CONTROL AND
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* BACKSEAT ARCHAEOLOGY
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SPOUSE, KIDS, ~
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FRIENDS, AND HIRED
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PROFESSIONALS
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43 BABIES, TODDLERS,
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::+:: THE THINGS WE DO *
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FOR LOVE
SANITATION AND SANITY:
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KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS ~
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* INDEX
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*~ WHERE You LIVE: ?+\
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* KEEPING IT CLEAN IN
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* THE LIVING ROOM, DINING ROOM,
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DEN, AND BEDROOM I
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blower. I compile lists of things you can clean in the dishwasher-
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and san itary environment. But don't make me work too hard for it-I have
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a career, you know, dinner to get on the table, and Little League games
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to attend. To heck with perfectionism. I'm gonna cheat.
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them. If tech nology offers more clean ing power, automated clean ing,
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for cleanliness-goals that may be somewhat south of Martha Stewart's.
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far behind. Personally, I'm hoping for dinner plates that scrape themselves
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extra expense at all. Second, it's impossible to give specific advice
without the occasional mention of brand names. I want you to know
that I accepted no freebies from manufacturers when I researched this
book; I bought all of my own products for testing and I don't sell these
products either.
Speaking ofresearch, you'll notice thatthis book is written in a unique
way. As I hunted for the cheatingest shortcuts possible, I spoke with
scores of experts who were generous with advice. I name them in
the text because I want to acknowledge them and because I want you
to appreciate the authority of the information and the freshness of
this research.
I also hope you find this book as fun to read as it was for me to write.
The core of this book is specific advice on how to cheat at cleaning.
However, along the way you'll also hear about the junk-removal
company that had to dispose of 13 enormous Buddha statues. The guy
who washed his socks in the dishwasher (honest, I don't do that). The
couple who use their robotic vacuum cleaner to serve beer to guests.
The researcher who bought dirty underwear from h is students-all in the
name of science.
My final point is an invitation to you. Not every person I quote has
an im pressive string of letters after h is or her name. I'll be writing about
home management for a long while, and I welcome tips and feedback
from savvy readers such as yourself. Please feel free to write to me in
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care of this publisher, or stop in at www.jeffbredenberg.com and provide
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your input over the Internet. I may not put your name in lights, but I'll .'"..
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be happy to brand you as a first-class cheater.
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-Jeff Bredenberg
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3
R EW R I TIN G THE R U L E5 YO U R
MOTHER TAUGHT YOU
W
e all know what happened as two-career couples
became the norm over the last several decades: Scores
of new duties came rushing onto our to-do lists like a tsunami.
In days of yore, Ozzie-and-Harriet fam ilies had one adult who
went into the world to make money and another who managed
the home front. Today, most families would collapse without
two incomes.
With that as a backdrop, consider this interesting bit of
research from the Soap and Detergent Association: 62 percent
of women say they clean their homes pretty much the same
way their mothers did. For goodness sake, corporations took a
wrecking ball to the rules of business, but we're using the
same old rules to manage our homes? No wonder we're
1950S
overwhelmed. No wonder we're all going crazy.
It's time to rewrite the rules your mother taught you for
housecleaning. Nothing less than your sanity is at stake.
One of the hardest things to set aside will be perfection
ism. Why? Because we are inundated with images from movies,
television, and magazines depicting homes with clutter-free,
glimmering countertops-places where upholstery and dog hair
never meet, where dust bunnies are extinct. Such homes are not
achievable in the real world. Even when we work hard at house
cleaning, we feel guilty that we're not meeting unreachable goals.
Let's wipe the slate clean and substitute a new set of priorities that
meets the needs of modern families-a change that will restore
your mental health.
If you have to
GOAL 1: KEEP A SAFE AND HEALTHY HOME
choose between killing germs and dusting your Hummels@, kill the
germs. How to Cheat at Cleaning shows you how you can easily
sanitize in all the right places.
GOAL 2: BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR POSSESSIONS WHEN YOU
If your system's functional, it's fine. For those of you
NEED TH EM
still in search of a semblance of order, this book provides scores of
easy de-cluttering techniques.
3:
GOAL KEEP THE KIND OF HOME YOU ARE HAPPY WITH
You are the one who has to be pleased with your surroundings,
not your mother or your next-door neighbor.
New goals require new path
ways for reaching them and
a new mind-set. Rather than
perpetually marching toward
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perfection, we need real-world o
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approaches-corner-cutting, time-saving, min imal-effort tech
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niques for cleaning. Yes, we need ways of cheating. <
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The new rules for doing this are divided into two categories:
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mind-set, to get you properly focused, and procedures, to make :;:
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sure you expend no more time or energy than absolutely neces :::l
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sary. These general principles will serve as valuable background .V...I
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as you proceed to all the specific corner-cutting advice in the e<
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