Table Of ContentP
®
T h e
Teenagers’ Guide to
a
t
Good Manners,
Proper Behavior,
US$19.99
and Not Grossing People Out
Alex J. Packer, Ph.D.
How Rude!
Praise for
A “Book for the Teen Age”
—New York Public Library
A “Quick Pick” selection
—American Library Association
A “Read, America!” Classic selection
“This is one fast-paced, fun-to-read book that covers the basics
of good behavior for teens. But before you dismiss it with a roll of
your eyes and a huge yawn (now that’s rude!), just one look at the
table of contents will convince you that this isn’t your grandma’s
guidebook. This is a wonderfully hip and humorous, easy read!”
—College Bound Magazine
“Covers everything from table manners to hygiene, handling friend-
ship problems politely, thank-you notes, flaming online, and manners
around the house.”—KLIATT
“From its intriguing title to the tongue-in-cheek ideas for dealing with
many kinds of situations, readers will find this manual humorous,
nonthreatening, entertaining, and educational. You will return to it
again and again.”—School Library Journal
“How Rude!offers surprisingly simple ways for teens to respond to and
interact with people to get the best results in today’s world. It shows
that if we’d all follow a few simple, common-sense rules, the world
would be a far better place.”—Youthworker
w
o R
H u
d
e
!
®
The
Teenagers’ Guide to
Good Manners,
Proper Behavior,
and Not Grossing People Out
by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D.
Edited by Pamela Espeland
Illustrated by Jeff Tolbert
Copyright ©1997 by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Unless otherwise noted,
no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without express written permission
of the publisher, except for brief quotations or critical reviews. For more information, go to
www.freespirit.com/company/permissions.cfm.
Free Spirit, Free Spirit Publishing, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of
Free Spirit Publishing Inc. A complete listing of our logos and trademarks is available at
www.freespirit.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Packer, Alex J.
How rude! : the teenagers’ guide to good manners, proper behavior, and not grossing people
out / by Alex J. Packer.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
Summary: A humorous but practical guide to good manners and social skills, discussing such
areas as family life, behavior in public, manners in school, eating, and clothes.
ISBN 1-57542-024-4
1. Etiquette for children and teenagers. [1. Etiquette.]
I. Title.
BJ1857.C5P33 1997
395.1’23—dc21 97-13015
CIP
AC
eBook ISBN: 978-1-57542-847-5
At the time of this book’s publication, all facts and figures cited are the most current available. All tele-
phone numbers, addresses, and Web site URLs are accurate and active; all publications, organizations,
Web sites, and other resources exist as described in this book; and all have been verified as of October
2008. The author and Free Spirit Publishing make no warranty or guarantee concerning the information
and materials given out by organizations or content found at Web sites, and we are not responsible for
any changes that occur after this book’s publication. If you find an error or believe that a resource listed
here is not as described, please contact Free Spirit Publishing. Parents, teachers, and other adults: We
strongly urge you to monitor children’s use of the Internet.
Permission is granted for individual readers, parents, and teachers to photocopy the pages included in the “List
of Reproducible Pages” (page xiii) for personal, home, classroom, or group work only. Photocopying or other
reproduction of these materials for an entire school or school system is strictly forbidden. For more informa-
tion, go to www.freespirit.com/company/permissions.cfm.
The goal-setting steps on pages 435–436 are adapted from The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide: A Teen Handbook
by Judy Galbraith, M.A., and Jim Delisle, Ph.D. (Free Spirit Publishing, 1996), pages 85–86. Used with
permission.
Reading Level Grades 7 & Up; Interest Level Ages 13 & Up;
Fountas & Pinnell Guided Reading Level Z
Cover design by Circus Design
Interior design by Julie Odland Smith
Illustrations by Jeff Tolbert
20 19 18 17 16
Printed in the United States of America
S18860310
Free Spirit Publishing Inc.
217 Fifth Avenue North, Suite 200
Minneapolis, MN 55401-1299
(612) 338-2068
[email protected]
www.freespirit.com
For my sister Janet . . .
. . . who, except for call waiting, is impeccably polite.
Acknowledgments
Even if it weren’t the polite thing to do, I would still want to thank the follow-
ing individuals whose advice, support, and expertise were essential to the
creation of this book.
Joel Anderson, Ida Del Vecchio, Launa Ellison, Richard V. Goodwin, Stephen
Gustin, Jan Hassan, Ross Herbertson, Norman Jenkins, Janet Packer, and
Charles L. Terry III for their help in distributing surveys;
The hundreds of teenagers, parents, and teachers who participated in our
surveys;
Mindy Anderson, Jonah Klevesahl, Monica Longe, Jill Thunborg, and Jessica
Wilber for reading and commenting on the manuscript;
Naomi and Max Rotenberg for generously providing me with a work-
conducive tropical environment during the cold New England winter (see
Chapter 5 for tips on vacation home house-sitting);
Kim Armstrong at the Killington Ski Resort in Killington, Vermont, for her
help with slopeside courtesies;
The dudes at Maximus Skatepark in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for their
thoughts on and demonstrations of skateboard etiquette;
Eddie Shaw of City Video, Porter Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts, for point-
ers on proper video store behavior;
The Inline Club of Boston for tips on skating etiquette;
Arthur Kinsman, Manager of Government and Community Relations,
American Automobile Association, Massachusetts, for AAA safety advice and
rules of the road;
Daniel Vest and The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)
for suggestions and research data relating to bigotry and homophobia;
Debbie Fiore at the Federation for Children with Special Needs; Brad Pearson,
Advocate, Massachusetts Office on Disability; Jody Williams, Abuse
Prevention Project Coordinator, Commonwealth of Massachusetts Disabled
vii
Persons Protection Commission; and The Massachusetts Association for the
Blind for providing information on interacting with people with disabilities;
The Authors Guild for their tireless efforts on behalf of writers;
My agents Gail Ross and Howard Yoon of Lichtman, Trister, Singer & Ross for
their advice, support, and generosity;
Lisa Leonard, Julie Smith, Elizabeth Verdick, and the staff of Free Spirit
Publishing for their enthusiasm, openness, and unswerving professionalism;
Judy Galbraith, President of Free Spirit Publishing, for her courage and imag-
ination as a publisher, and her encouragement and good humor as a friend;
Pamela Espeland for her brilliance and creativity as an editor; for putting up
with my authorial moods and bad jokes; for keeping me within the bounds of
good taste (or at least trying to); and for the respect and repartee which made
the process of creating this book so stimulating and enjoyable;
And finally, I wish to thank the countless individuals whose ill-mannered, dis-
gusting, boorish, vulgar, selfish, and arrogant behaviors kept me inspired and
motivated throughout the course of this project.
viii
Contents
List of Reproducible Pages . . . xiii 3. UNCOMMON COURTESIES:
Saving the Earth from a
1. MINDING MANNERS: Nobody’s Manners Meltdown . . . . . . . . . . 60
Polite Anymore, Why Should I Be? 1 Bodies in Motion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Why Good Manners Are The Ups and Downs of
Good for You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Elevator Behavior . . . . . . . . . . . 63
What, Exactly, Are Manners? . . . . . . 6 Sandwiched on the Subway . . . . . . 63
A Brief History of Manners . . . . . . . 7 Escalators and Slidewalks . . . . . . . 63
Aren’t Manners Sexist? . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Public Buses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Which Manners Are Offering Someone Your Seat . . . . . 65
Most Important? . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Carpooling Protocols . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Having Manners vs. Being Fake . . . 13 Banning Backpack Attacks . . . . . . 70
Is It Ever Okay Not to Have Fear of Flying . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Manners? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 The Ins and Outs of
Why Don’t People Have Doorway Decorum . . . . . . . . . . . 74
Manners Anymore? . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Self-Propelled . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Inline Skating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Bicycling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
2. SOCIAL INTERACTIONS 101:
Skateboarding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
The Rituals of Relating . . . . . . . 24
Skiing and Snowboarding . . . . . . . 78
An Introduction to Introductions . . 25
On Foot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Introducing Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Behind the Wheel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
Introducing Others . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
On the Road . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
Group Introductions . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Public Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Being Introduced . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
At the Symphony, Theater,
The Social Kiss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
and Opera . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Giving and Receiving Gifts . . . . . . . 34
Applause . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Gracious Giving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
At the Movies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
Righteous Receiving . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Sporting Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Thank-You Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Waiting in Line . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Compliments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Pollution Prevention . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
Applying for a Job . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Litter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
At the Interview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Visual Pollution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
People with Disabilities . . . . . . . . . 53
Noise Pollution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
Air Pollution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
ix
