Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse

225 Pages·2016·0.88 MB·English

by  Gischler Victor

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT VICTOR
GISCHLER’S WORK
“First, who wouldn’t want to read a novel titled Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse?
Second, who could have guessed the book was even better than the title? Part
Christopher Moore, part Quentin Tarantino, Victor Gischler is a raving, badass
genius.”
—JAMES ROLLINS, New York Times bestselling author of
Map of Bones and Black Order
“If it’s all going to go to hell, you might as well have some Go-Go Girls of the
Apocalypse to go with it. Weird just doesn’t say it for this one. Gischler gives
weird a kick in the butt, sends it right over the edge of the abyss. Wild fun.”
—JOE R. LANSDALE, author of Lost Echoes and Bad Chili
“Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse is funny, mordant, crazed, riveting, sardonic—
and despite all that, it’s got a plot. Bravo for Victor Gischler.”
—MIKE RESNICK, Hugo and Nebula Award–winning author
“Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse proves, if proof were needed, that Victor
Gischler is among the most demented, nimble, and flat-out hilarious American
satirists working today. Listen closely: that sound you hear, somewhere out
there, is Vonnegut’s applause.”
—SEAN DOOLITTLE, author of The Cleanup
“If Pynchon ever decided to write an insane action novel, this would be it. All-
out sustained brilliance; nobody is writing the unique lunacy that Victor Gischler
is.”
—KEN BRUEN, author of The Guards and American Skin
ALSO BY VICTOR GISCHLER
Gun Monkeys
The Pistol Poets
Suicide Squeeze
Shotgun Opera
Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse
Victor Gischler
Touchstone
A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either
are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any
resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely
coincidental.
Copyright © 2008 by Victor Gischler
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof
in any form whatsoever. For information address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights
Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster,
Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Gischler, Victor.
Go-go girls of the apocalypse / Victor Gischler.
p. cm.
“A Touchstone book.”
1. End of the world—Fiction. 2. Satire. I. Title.
PS3607.I48G47 2008
813'6—dc22 2007033601
ISBN-13: 978-1-4391-0558-0
ISBN-10: 1-4391-0558-8
Visit us on the World Wide Web:
http://www.SimonSays.com
For Anthony Neil Smith and Sean Doolittle, who both
assured me I had a good book on my hands even before I
believed it myself
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I need to add some names to the list of usual suspects. David Hale Smith has
been one hell of an agent…Thanks for catching everything I’ve thrown at you.
Thanks to Zach Schisgal, Shawna Lietzke and the team at Touchstone/Fireside
for keeping me on track. And extra thanks to my wife, Jackie, and son, Emery,
for putting up with me. Last but not least, many thanks to all those readers who
keep coming back.
When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the
mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, “Come, make us gods
who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out
of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.”
—EXODUS 32:1
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII
VIII
IX
X
XI
XII
THE MUSCLE EXPRESS
XIII
XIV
XV
XVI
LADIES
XVII
XVIII
XIX
DINNER AND ENTERTAINMENT
XX
XXI
XXII
XXIII
XXIV
HIKING AND CAMPING
XXV
XXVI
XXVII
XXVIII
XXIX
XXX
THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH
XXXI
XXXII
XXXIII