Games people play : the psychology of human relationships

192 Pages·1964·50.41 MB·English

by  Eric Berne

Games People Play
The Psychology of Human
Relatio~ships
by Eric Berne, M.D.
Games People Play
The Psychology of
Human Relationships
By Eric Berne, M.D.
GROVE PRESS, INC.
NEW YORK
Copyright © 1964 by Eric Berne
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 64-13783
First Printing, July 1964
Second Printing, September 1964
Third Printing, October 1964
Fourth Printing, February 1965
Fifth Printing, April 1965
Sixth Printing, May 1965
Seventh Printing, June 1965
Eighth Printing, July 1965
Ninth Printing, August 1965
Tenth Printing, September 1965
Eleventh Printing, September 1965
Twelfth Printing, October 1965
Thirteenth Printing, October 1965
Fourteenth Printing, November 1965
Fifteenth Printing, December 1965
Sixteenth Printing, January 1966
Seventeenth Printing, January 1966
Eighteenth Printing, February 1966
Nineteenth Printing, March 1966
Twentieth Printing, March 1966
Twenty-first Printing, April 1966
Twenty-second Printing, April 1966
Twenty-third Printin~ May 1966
Twenty-fourth Printing, August 1966
Manufactured in the United States of America
by The Book Press Incorporated
To my patients and students who
taught me more and more and are
still teaching me about games
and the meaning of life.

Contents
Table of Figures / 10
Preface / 11
Introduction / 13
PART I
Analysis of Games / 23
1 / Structural Ar.alysis / 23
2 / Transactional Analysis / 29
3 / Procedures and Rituals / 35
4 / Pastimes / 41
5 / Games / 48
PART II
A Thesaurus of Games / 67
Introduction / 69
6 / Life Games / 73
1 Alcoholic / 73
2 Debtor / 81
3 Kick Me / 84
4 Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch / 85
5 See What You Made Me Do / 88
7 / Marital Games / 92
1 Corner / 92
2 Courtroom / 96
7
8 / GAMES PEOPLE PLAY
3 Frigid Woman / 98
4 Harried / 10 1
5 If It Weren't for You / 104
6 Look How Hard I've Tried / 105
7 Sweetheart / 108
8 / Party Games / II 0
1 Ain't It Awful / 110
2 Blemish / 112
3 Schlemiel / 114
4 Why Don't You-Yes But / 116
9 / Sexual Games / 123
1 Let's You and Him Fight / 124
2 Perversion /124
3 Rapo / 126
4 The Stocking Game / 129
5 Uproar / 130
10 / Underworld Games / 132
1 Cops and Robbers / 132
2 How Do You Get Out of Here / 137
3 Let's Pull a Fast One on Joey / 139
II/Consulting Room Games / 141
1 Greenhouse / 141
2 I'm Only Trying to Help You / 143
3 Indigence / 147
4 Peasant / 151
5 Psychiatry / 154
6 Stupid / 157
7 Wooden Leg / 159
12 / Good Games / 163
1 Busman's Holiday / 164
2 Cavalier / 164
3 Happy to Help / 166
4 Homely Sage / 167
5 They'll Be Glad They Knew Me / 168
PART III
Beyond Games / 169
13 / The Significance of Games / 171
14 / The Players / 173
15 / A Paradigm / 175
CONTENTS / 9
16 / Autonomy / 178
17 / The Attainment of Autonomy / 182
18 / After Games, What? / 184
Appendix / The Classification of Behavior / 185
Index of Pastimes and Games / 187
Author Index / 189
Subject Index / 190
Table of Figures
1 A Structural Diagram / 25
2 Complementary Transactions / 30
3 Crossed Transactions / 31
4 A Relationship Diagram / 32
5 Ulterior Transactions / 34
6 Pastimes / 44
7 A Game / 55
8 Why Don't You-Yes But / 117
10
Preface
THIS book is primarily designed to be a sequel to my book
Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy/ but has been planned
so that it can be read and understood independently. The
theory necessary for the analysis and clear understanding of
games has been summarized in Part I. Part II contains descrip
tions of the individual games. Part III contains new clinical and
theoretical material which, added to the old, makes it possible to
understand to some extent what it means to be game-free. Those
desiIing further background are referred to the earlier volume.
The reader of both will note that in addition to the theoretical
advances, there have been some minor changes in terminology
and viewpoint based on further thinking and reading and new
clinical material.
The need for this book was indicated by interested requests
from students and lecture audiences for lists of games, or for
further elaboration of games mentioned brieRy as examples in a
general exposition of the principles of transactional analysis.
Thanks are due in general to these students and audiences, and
espeCially to the many patients who exposed to view, spotted or
named new games; and in particular to Miss Barbara Rosenfeld
for her many ideas about the art and meaning of listening; and to
Mr. Melvin Boyce, Mr. Joseph Concannon, Dr. Franklin Ernst,
Dr. Kenneth Everts, Dr. Gordon Gritter, Mrs. Frances Matson,
and Dr. Ray Poindexter, among others, for their independent
discovery or confirmation of the significance of many games.
Mr. Claude Steiner, formerly Research Director of the San
Francisco Social Psychiatry Seminars and presently in the
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