Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks: An Epic Quest for Reality Among Role Players, Online Gamers, and Other Dwellers of Imaginary Realms

370 Pages·2009·3.67 MB·English

by  Ethan Gilsdorf

Table of Contents
Praise
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Epigraph
PROLOGUE
Chapter 1 - I Was a Teenage Magic-User
AT LEAST THERE WAS A RULE BOOK
I LEFT THOSE DREAMY MEDIEVAL WORLDS BEHIND
THE BLUE COOLER BEGINS TO SPEAK
Chapter 2 - The Quest Begins
AT A DISTANCE FOR A REASON
21ST CENTURY GEEKDOM
SPEAK, FRIEND, AND ENTER
Chapter 3 - On the Tolkien Trail
TALKING THE TOLKIEN TALK
WE’D BE WORSHIPPING GANDALF
IN WHICH THE AUTHOR STRAYS FROM THE PATH
FLY, YOU FOOLS!
ASHAMED TO ADMIT ITS TOLKIEN LEGACY
Chapter 4 - Into the Dungeon Again
I GET MY ROLE-PLAYING MOJO BACK
IN WHICH WE DEFINE GAMER, NERD, AND GEEK
A SENSE OF BELONGING
RELEASED FROM CAGES OF IDENTITY
A TWITCHY KID WITH FEW FRIENDS
Chapter 5 - The Fount Whence Fantasy Games Flowed
GARY WANTED PEOPLE TO GAME
AN EXTREMELY BRIEF HISTORY OF D&D
IN WHICH THE AUTHOR HAS HIS FIRST ADULT GEEK
MOMENT
THE WORLD DEMANDS YOU GROW UP
I’LL MAKE SURE YOU DIE SPLENDIFEROUSLY
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE DOING EXTRAORDINARY THINGS
PLAYING WITH THE BIG BOYS
Chapter 6 - The Monk Went Down to Georgia
OCCASIONALLY YOU BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM
NO ONE WANTS TO FIGHT EVIL IN THE RAIN
SOMEONE HANDED ME A MACE
A FORM OF SECULAR RITUALISM
SELL TAX SOFTWARE OR SLAY BANDITS AND BOINK
ROYALTY?
A FIDGETY BALL OF INARTICULATE ENERGY
WHAT THE HECK—I WAS ON A QUEST, TOO
SIR, YOUR WORDS ARE FROM YOUR HEART
Chapter 7 - Geeks in Love
THAT FLEETING MAGIC MOMENT
I HAVE NOT YET DONE ANYTHING SAGA-LIKE
STUCK IN THE MIDDLE AGES VS. FUTURE BOY
Chapter 8 - To Work Here, You Have to Forget
OVERTHROWING A NEIGHBOR’S CASTLE
UNLIKE THE REALM OF MICKEY, GOOFY, AND
CINDERELLA
Chapter 9 - The Weapon We Have Is Love
I DON’T CARE ABOUT WHATEVER FATE THAT PROPHECY
SAYS
THE LABYRINTH OF BEIN’ A TEENAGE BOY
VOLDEMORT CAN’T STOP THE ROCK
MAGIC IS NOT MORALLY NEUTRAL
BILBO BAGGINS, LUKE SKYWALKER, AND JESUS
Chapter 10 - In the Beer Line with the King
LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER’S MUUMUU
THE SCA DOESN’T HAVE ESCAPISM
PRIVATE, MEDIEVAL-THEMED ISLANDS
I FLY MY FREAK FLAG HERE
I WANT THEM BOTH DEAD
THE THUNDER OF SHIELD AGAINST SHIELD
IN THE BEER LINE WITH THE KING
DISAPPEARING INTO THE MISTS
Chapter 11 - I’ll Only Go to Level 10
WE’RE ALREADY ROLE-PLAYING
WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO HAVE PERFECT BOOBS AND
KILL SHIT AND BE BORN AGAIN?
FROM ARCADE TO MASS ENTERTAINMENT
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WORLD
IN-GAME HE IS MY BEST FRIEND
WE BATTLE AND LOSE—AND LOSE—AND LOSE SOME
MORE
THE GAME MADE ME MORE “ME”
Chapter 12 - An Outlet for Souls Who Could Not Rest
A SYMBOL OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD
I BEND DOWN AND PICK STUFF UP IN-GAME JUST AS
WELL AS YOU
Chapter 13 - You Have to Become the Con
WE’RE INTERSPECIES
YOU EVENTUALLY FIND YOUR PEOPLE
THERE ARE WORSE THINGS KIDS COULD DO
THE STORIES LEAVE THE STURM UND DRANG OF LIFE
BEHIND
NORMALLY, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN FANTASY
THROUGH THOSE DOORS AGAIN
THE ENDLESS STREAM OF CHARACTERS
Chapter 14 - There, or Nowhere, and Back Again
OCCUPATION: STUNT HOBBIT
WHO WANTS TO BE AN ELF?
I SPOILED THAT SCENE, DIDN’T I?
NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED HERE
A DESPERATE FANTASY
INSTANTLY AND INEXTRICABLY FILLED WITH ENVY
THAT KIWI BASTARD STOLE MY LIFE
Chapter 15 - Get Off the Road
GATHERING STRENGTH TO FACE THE REAL WORLD
Chapter 16 - Being a Hero Ain’t What It Used to Be
MIDDLE-EARTH HAD NO GLOBAL WARMING
OTHER TEMPTATIONS
I LIKE WHERE MY HEAD GOES
AFTERWORD
Acknowledgements
Glossary of Terms and Abbreviations
Photo Credits
Permissions
Index
About the Author
MORE ADVANCE PRAISE FOR Fantasy Freaks and
Gaming Geeks
“This book—part memoir and part insider’s guide—is both poignant and hilarious, baffling
and informative, disturbing and entertaining. It is a must read for anyone whose idea of a good
night involves dragons, spaceships, or one-eyed monsters dripping with slime.”
—Jake Halpern, NPR Commentator
and author of Fame Junkies

“Ethan Gilsdorf’s Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks is alternately hilarious, surprising,
poignant, and odd, but always utterly compelling. Beginning with his own teenage geekdom
and addiction to Dungeons & Dragons, Gilsdorf transports us to the fantastical worlds of live-
action role playing, Harry Potter tribute bands, creative anachronism, and Lord of the Rings
tourism, reminding us that these substitute realities are not just amusements, but at times, life-
savers. A must-read book for trolls, orcs, hobbits, or anyone interested in the quirky corners of
popular culture.”
—Dinty W. Moore, author of
The Accidental Buddhist and
Between Panic and Desire

“If you think fantasy culture is just a bunch of pimply-faced kids shouting about dragons in a
finished basement, you haven’t been paying attention. From wizard rock to chic French geeks,
Gilsdorf catches you up on everything you need to know about the modern state of make-
believe. And he does it with such humor, honesty, and, yes, cool, you’ll almost wish you had
an orc-slaying, princess-saving past of your own to suppress.”
—Yael Goldstein Love,
author of Overture:
A Novel and The Passion of Tasha Darsky
“Intensely personal yet universally appealing, Gilsdorf’s work speaks to the geek in all of us.
Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks, with its exploration of an emerging marginalized culture,
rolls a natural 20.”
—Larry D. Curtis, TheOneRing.net

“Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks is a lively exploration of the fantasy realms into which
boys and grown men retreat. Moms of teenage boys will find new insights about what makes
these worlds so compelling as well as some encouraging stories about the friendships and
communities they foster.”
—Michelle Seaton, co-author of
The Ways of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in
a Challenging and Complex World

“Unfortunately for the establishment, the geeks—like Frodo and Sam slipping into Mordor
quietly and unobserved by the Dark Tower—have come out of the quiet and peace of the
Shire, or the gaming dungeon, and merrily taken over a large portion of the world, as
illustrated by this book. . . . Ethan Gilsdorf looks critically at gaming and fantasy and finds out
how wonderful they can be for bringing people together across wage, ability, and ethnic
divides, or from disparate places around the world, for developing imagination and creativity,
and all in the name of fun! Cogito Ergo Geek.”
—Ian Collier, The Tolkien Society

“Vivid, moving, evocative, intriguing, engaging.”
-Chris Castellani, author of
A Kiss from Maddalena and The Saint of Lost Things