Table Of ContentIn Australia over 120,000 men are living with a diagnosis of prostate cancer. For
facing
each man who has had prostate cancer, there will be people close who care about
them, and love them, who are also deeply affected. This book provides practical
strategies to help cope with the emotional and psychological stress of living with
prostate cancer and to regain a sense of ease about the situation in which you
may find yourself. Written by one of the world’s leading researchers into the
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psychological effects of cancer and how best to provide support for individuals a
and couples, it is structured so that the reader can choose whatever chapter seems c
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most relevant right now. Personal stories and insights from men and their partners n
offer emotional comfort and inspiration throughout. While everyone’s experience g
of prostate cancer is uniquely their own there is nothing quite like the wisdom that
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comes from others who have already walked the path. h
e
t
Suzanne Chambers is one of those rare people who not only sees a problem but immediately
i
starts to think about how to do something about it. She has taken her practical insights and g
loaded them into this easy-to-read book. It will make a large difference to the lives of people e
affected by prostate cancer. r
Professor Ian Davis, Medical Oncologist, the
Founder and Chair, Australian and New Zealand Urogenital and
Prostate Cancer Trials Group
Suzanne Chambers has written the game plan for coping with prostate cancer. She brings
tiger
years of experience from observing how men and their mates cope. It is a MUST for those
P
coping with this type of cancer. r
o
Professor Jimmie Holland, MD. Wayne E. Chapman f
e
Chair in Psychiatric Oncology, Attending Psychiatrist, Department of Psychiatry s
s
& Behavioral Sciences, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, New York o
r
S
u
Professor Suzanne Chambersis a Griffith University health z
a
psychologist. She has worked as a practitioner and researcher in n
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psychological support for people with cancer for over 20 years e
focusing most recently on trials of interventions that address C
couple support and psychological distress in men with prostate ha A Guide for Men with Prostate Cancer
m
cancer. She is an Australian Research Council Future Fellow and
the 2013 William Rudder Fellow. Her scientific publication record be and the People Who Love Them
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is extensive and she is highly regarded internationally within both s
the psychological and medical fields for the quality, innovation,
and breadth of her work.
Australian Academic Press
Professor Suzanne Chambers
www.
AUSTRALIANACADEMICPRESS Psychologist
www.aapbooks.com
.com.au
facing
the
tiger
A Guide for Men with Prostate Cancer
and the People Who Love Them
Professor Suzanne Chambers
Psychologist
AUSTRALIANACADEMICPRESS
First published in January 2013 by Australian Academic Press Group Pty. Ltd.
Level 5, Toowong Tower, 9 Sherwood Road,
Toowong QLD 4066, Australia
www.australianacademicpress.com.au
Copyright © 2013 Suzanne Chambers
The author has donated all royalties due from the sale of this book to
the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. www.prostate.org.au
Copying for educational purposes
The Australian Copyright Act 1968(Cwlth) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10%
of this book, whichever is the greater, to be reproduced and/or communicated by
any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational
institution (or the body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to
Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
For details of the CAL licence for educational institutions contact:
Copyright Agency Limited, 19/157 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000.
E-mail [email protected]
Production and communication for other purposes
Except as permitted under the Act, for example a fair dealing for the purposes of
study, research, criticism or review, no part of this book may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior
written permission of the copyright holder.
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Author: Chambers, Suzanne.
Title: Facing the tiger : a guide for men with prostate cancer and
the people who love them / Suzanne Chambers.
ISBN: 9781922117052 (pbk.)
9781922117328 (ebook)
Subjects: Prostate--Cancer--Popular works.
Prostate--Diseases--Patients--Popular works.
Cancer--Patients--Family relationships
Cancer--Patients--Long-term care.
Dewey Number:616.994
DISCLAIMER: Every effort has been made in preparing this work to provide
information based on accepted evidence, standards and practice at the time of
publication. By referring to this book, any and all readers release the author and
publisher of any claims of direct or consequential damages resulting from relying
on the content contained herein.
Book and cover design by Maria Biaggini — The Letter Tree.
Image by ©istockphoto/Dirk Freder
ii
‘Suzanne Chambers is one of those rare people who not
only sees a problem but immediately starts to think
about how to do something about it. So much of the
psycho-oncology literature is full of studies about
observation and measurement. Suzanne’s group is
leading the way in devising meaningful interventions
based on this knowledge and then testing whether they
actually make a difference. Suzanne has taken her prac-
tical insights and loaded them into this easy-to-read
book, illustrating them with real examples. This book
will make a large difference to the lives of people
affected by prostate cancer.’
— Professor Ian Davis, Medical Oncologist,
Founder and Chair, Australian and New Zealand Urogenital
and Prostate Cancer Trials Group
‘Suzanne Chambers has written the game plan for
coping with prostate cancer. She brings years of experi-
ence from observing how men and their mates cope.
She also presents the “how to” in terms that are under-
standable and acceptable. Football is a great metaphor
for successful coping: working closely with the
iii
Facing The Tiger
coach/oncologist; taking the offensive and charging
forward; maintaining optimism and confidence;
keeping an eye on the goal despite transient setbacks;
being sure the whole team is working together. The
stories in the book show how courage pays off, how
engaging the spouse helps both in coping, and how
humour and empathy ease the bruises of the game. It is
a MUST for those coping with this type of cancer.’
— Professor Jimmie Holland, MD. Wayne E. Chapman
Chair in Psychiatric Oncology, Attending Psychiatrist,
Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences,
Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, New York
‘An excellent hand-book. Suzanne Chambers has had
an enduring and innovative commitment to helping to
resolve the many difficulties encountered by those
involved with prostate cancer for many years. Tracing
the many dilemmas faced in what is so often a long
journey with this condition, this book proposes practi-
cal ways to straddle the hurdles that appear in the
paths of patients and partners. The book is written
‘from the heart’ and provides a self-help guide in simple
and unambiguous language. A major strength is the
inclusion of sections by a number of courageous
patients and partners who have openly shared what are
so often regarded as private experiences.’
— Professor RA (‘Frank’) Gardiner AM, MBBS MD FRACS
FRCS, Professor of Urology, The University of Queensland,
Consultant Urologist, Royal Brisbane & Women’s Hospital
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Facing the Tiger
‘A must-read for all patients, and their families, who
are faced with a diagnosis of prostate cancer and the
life after it. The medical community is still in the
infancy of incorporating issues of patient distress and
the psycho-social elements of therapeutic care into clin-
ical practice. This book helps medical consumers find
their internal strength and empowers them to be advo-
cates for their own best quality of life.’
— Virgil H. Simons, MPA, Founder & President,
The Prostate Net, an international non-profit patient education
and advocacy organization for men with prostate cancer
‘Once a patient, partner/carer or a family member
affected by prostate cancer starts to read this book they
will not be able to put it down. It is a wonderful blend
of real life stories, practical tips learnt by experience
and professional know how. Quality of life is a theme
that resonates along with confidence building and
knowing you are not alone.’
— David Sandoe OAM, National Chairman Prostate Cancer
Foundation of Australia and co-leader (with his wife Pam) of the
Sydney Adventist Hospital Prostate Cancer Support Group
‘A must read for anybody coping with a prostate
cancer diagnosis. It is equally as useful and important
for their partners. I wish it had been around when I
was diagnosed.’
— Peter Dornan AM, Sport Physiotherapist, Author, Sculptor and
Convenor of the Brisbane Prostate Cancer Support Network
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vi
Contents
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi
Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . xi
CHAPTERONE
Facing the Tiger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
CHAPTERTWO
‘Why me?’ On Being Diagnosed With Prostate Cancer . . . . . . 13
CHAPTERTHREE
‘Me too!’ On Loving Someone With Prostate Cancer . . . . . . . .27
CHAPTERFOUR
‘We’re in this together’ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
CHAPTERFIVE
How to Make Decisions You can Live With . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
CHAPTERSIX
Sex: ‘What now?’ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63
CHAPTERSEVEN
‘I think therefore I am!’ (cogito ergo sum) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77
CHAPTEREIGHT
De-Stressing — How to Look After
Yourself and Keep Well . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
CHAPTERNINE
Solving Problems After Treatment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
CHAPTERTEN
Grace Under Fire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123
Appendix . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133
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viii
Acknowledgments
I have been privileged over many years to have had
men affected by prostate cancer and their loved ones
share their often very difficult experiences with me.
This book has grown out of those shared experiences.
A heart felt thank you to David and Pam Sandoe for
suggesting that I write this book and encouraging me
at every step, and to my trusted friend and colleague,
clinical psychologist Samantha Clutton for reading
every chapter and giving me fearless feedback! To Jeff
Dunn, my long standing friend and colleague, I appre-
ciate you reminding me to make a point, and a differ-
ence. I thank Ysabella Chambers, my daughter, who is
herself a writer, for editorial advice and guidance on
speaking with a true voice. Many other colleagues,
Leslie Schover, Rob Newton, David Jenkins, and
Daniel Galvao, also provided expert advice for which
I am so grateful, and I thank Anthony Lowe and
Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia for their
support of this book. To my urological and medical
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