Everyone communicates, few connect : what the most effective people do differently. Summary

205 Pages·2009·1.5 MB·English

by  John C Maxwell

EVERYONE COMMUNICATES,
FEW CONNECT
EVERYONE COMMUNICATES,
FEW CONNECT
WHAT THE MOST EFFECTIVE PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY
JOHN C. MAXWELL
© 2010 by John C. Maxwell
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted
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brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas
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Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales
promotional use. For information, please e-mail [email protected].
Scripture quotations from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000. Used by
permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations from HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®. © 1973, 1978, 1984, by
International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Page 27 Cartoon © Randy Glasbergen.
Photographs were submitted by commentators on Dr. Maxwell’s blog. Used by permission.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Maxwell, John C.
Everyone communicates, few connect : what the most effective people do differently / John C. Maxwell.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-7852-1425-0
ISBN 9781400280803 (IE)
1. Business communication. 2. Interpersonal communication. 3. Interpersonal relations. I. Title.
HF5718.M387 2009 650.1'3—dc22
2009051528
Printed in the United States of America
10 11 12 13 14 WC 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is dedicated to John Wesley Maxwell,
our fifth grandchild. He has already “connected” with his
Mimi and Papa. As he grows older, it is our prayer that
he will learn to connect effectively with others.
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Prologue
PART I: CONNECTING PRINCIPLES
1. Connecting Increases Your Influence in Every Situation
2. Connecting Is All About Others
3. Connecting Goes Beyond Words
4. Connecting Always Requires Energy
5. Connecting Is More Skill Than Natural Talent
PART II: CONNECTING PRACTICES
6. Connectors Connect on Common Ground
7. Connectors Do the Difficult Work of Keeping It Simple
8. Connectors Create an Experience Everyone Enjoys
9. Connectors Inspire People
10. Connectors Live What They Communicate
Conclusion
Contributors to JohnMaxwellonLeadership.com
Notes
About the Author
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to
Charlie Wetzel, my writer
Stephanie Wetzel, my social media manager
and blog administrator
Sue Caldwell, who types the first draft
Linda Eggers, my assistant
And thank you to
the hundreds of people who
read the manuscript on
JohnMaxwellonLeadership.com
and gave me their feedback
(and whose names are listed beginning on page 251).
PROLOGUE
L
ast month I received an overseas phone call from Sangeeth Varghese,
author, columnist, and founder of LeadCap, an organization developing
leaders in India. He was interviewing me for Forbes. I enjoyed talking to
Sangeeth, but we had a problem. Our phone connection was bad. I bet we got
disconnected nearly a dozen times. One minute we’d be enjoying our
conversation on leadership, and the next minute the line would go dead.
Everybody’s had that happen during a phone call. It’s the reason Verizon did
their “Can you hear me now?” campaign. When your phone drops a call, you
know it, don’t you? And what is your reaction? How does it make you feel?
Annoyed? Frustrated? Angry?
Have you ever thought about why you react the way you do when you get
disconnected? Being disconnected wastes your time. It interrupts the flow of
what you’re trying to accomplish, and it undermines your productivity. The
bottom line is that connecting is everything when it comes to communication.
You know when you don’t have a good connection on the phone, but how
about when you’re communicating with people in person? Do you know when a
connection has been made? Can you tell when the connection is starting to go
bad? Can you identify when the “call” has been dropped?
Most people have an easy time knowing when the connection is good on the
phone. But they have no idea if they’re connecting with others in other everyday
situations.
How do I tell? How do I know that I’ve connected with others? I look for the
signs. When I interact with people, whether one on one, in a group, or with an
audience, I know I’ve connected when I sense:
• EXTRA EFFORT—people go the extra mile
• UNSOLICITED APPRECIATION—they say positive things
• UNGUARDED OPENNESS—they demonstrate trust
• INCREASED COMMUNICATION—they express themselves more readily
• ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCES—they feel good about what they’re doing
• EMOTIONAL BONDEDNESS—they display a connection on an emotional
level
• POSITIVE ENERGY—their emotional “batteries” are charged by being