Every Day is an Atheist Holiday!: More Magical Tales from the Author of God, No!

205 Pages·2012·2.31 MB·English

by  Penn Jillette

ALSO BY PENN JILLETTE

God, No! Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other
Magical Tales

Sock

BY PENN JILLETTE AND MICKEY D. LYNN

How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker: The Wisdom of Dickie
Richard

BY PENN JILLETTE AND TELLER

Penn & Teller’s How to Play in Traffic

Penn & Teller’s How to Play with Your Food

Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends

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Copyright © 2012 by 10 IN 1
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Published simultaneously in Canada
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Jillette, Penn.
Every day is an atheist holiday! : more magical tales from the author of God, no! / Penn Jillette.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-101-60074-0
1. Religion—Humor. 2. Atheism—Humor. 3. American wit and humor. I. Title.
PN6231.R4J546 2012 2012035920
818'.607—dc23
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact
information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes
that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for
author or third-party websites or their content.
DEDICATED TO
FEBRUARY 28, 1966
JUNE 3, 2005
MAY 22, 2006
CONTENTS

ALSO BY PENN JILLETTE

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

EVERY DAY IS AN ATHEIST HOLIDAY

SOMETIMES A SHEET IS NOT JUST A GHOST

CANADIAN THANKSGIVING

HERE COME OUR “CELEBRITIES”—CUE THE FREEZING RAIN

NOVEMBER 9, 1909—EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS ENOUGH

I DEFY THE JAILS OF THE WORLD TO HOLD MY SON

AND SPEAKING OF . . . KEVIN POLLAK NEEDS TO PLAY HOUDINI IN A GREAT MOVIE

THANKSGIVING—IF YOU WON’T PUT YOUR DICK IN IT, I’M NOT GOING TO EAT IT

THE MAGICIAN STANDS LAZILY HALF NAKED BEFORE THE WORLD

A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION WITH GILBERT GOTTFRIED ON JANUARY 13, 2002

NEW YEAR’S DAY, GYMS, WHOREHOUSES, AND MOURNING WITH PROSTITUTES

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY—YOU CAN BE IN MY DREAM, IF I CAN BE IN YOURS
(BOB DYLAN SAID THAT)

GROUNDHOG DAY

SICK DAYS
APRIL FOOLS' DAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

CHIQUITA BANANA WEDNESDAY

HAVE A NICE EASTER, YOU CHRISTIANS YOU

EASTER IS A HOLLOW WAXY CHOCOLATE RABBIT WHO SUFFERS IN AN UNSATISFYING
WAY FOR YOUR SINS

HITCH AND TOMMY

MY FIRST FATHER’S DAY CARD

GRADUATION DAY—NOTHING IS FUNNY BUT PENN JILLETTE

“VISSI D’ARTE” EVEN ON THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

THE FOURTH OF JULY

MY SON’S MORALITY DOES NOT COME FROM GOD

THANKS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR