Table Of ContentENGAGING
COMMUNICATION
IN CONFLICT
To the many conversation partners
who made this book possible
ENGAGING
COMMUNICATION
IN CONFLICT
SYSTEMIC PRACTICE
STEPHEN W. LITTLEJOHN
ΚΑΤΉΥ DOMENICI
/Ä\Sage Publications, Inc.
I International Educational and Professional Publisher
Thousand Oaks • London • New Delhi
Copyright © 2001 by Sage Publications, Inc.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Littlejohn, Stephen W.
Engaging communication in conflict: Systemic practice / by Stephen W.
Littlejohn and Kathy Domenici.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-7619-2186-9 (cloth: alk. paper) — ISBN 0-7619-2187-7
(paper: alk. paper)
1. Conflict management. 2. Communication. 3. Interpersonal conflict.
4. Interpersonal communication. I. Domenici, Kathy. II. Title.
HM1126 .L57 2000
303.6*9—dc21 00-009056
04 05 06 07 7 6 5 4 3 2
Acquisition Editor: Margaret H. Seawell
Editorial Assistant: Sandra Krumholz
Production Editor: Diane F. Foster
Editorial Assistant: Cindy Bear
Typesetter/Designer: Tina Hill
Cover Designer: Ravi Balasuriya
Contents
Preface xi
• PART I: Basic Commitments
1. Constructing Conflict 3
How Conflicts Are Made 3
Talking About Difference 4
Why Talk Matters 5
Our Conflict Worlds 6
Living With It: The World of Avoidance 6
Working It Out: The World of Negotiation 7
Expanding the Conversation by Intervention 7
Going to Battle: The World of Litigation 7
Going to War: The World of Violence 9
A Conversation of Opportunity 9
Finding New Ways of Exploring Differences 11
Building Relationships 12
Creating Positive Futures 13
The Communication Perspective 14
Communication Is More Than a Tool 14
Thinking Systemically 16
Toward an Ethic of Conflict Management 23
Resources You Can Use 24
2. Dialogue 25
What Is Dialogue? 25
Dialogue Honors Relationships 26
Risk and Safety in Dialogue 28
Dialogue as a Constructive Conversation 33
Treating People Like People 33
Taking Time to Explore 34
Taking Turns at Listening 35
Asking Questions 38
Speaking Diaiogically 44
Being Profoundly Open 46
Outcomes of Dialogue in Conflict Management 48
Discovering the Heart of the Matter 48
Building Respect 49
Defusing Polarization 49
Building a Context for Collaboration 50
Using Dialogue Creatively 50
Resources You Can Use 51
• PART II: Conflict in Small Systems
3. Mediating Private Disputes 55
Entering the System: Communication Goals 56
Thinking Relationally About Mediation 59
Mediation as Collaborative Communication 62
Introducing Mediation 64
Caucuses 66
Mediation: Hard or Soft 67
Thinking Systemically About Mediation 68
Working With Stories 68
Some Common Metastories of Mediation 70
The negative story of confusion and the
positive story of empowerment 70
The negative story of disrespect and the
positive story of recognition 71
The negative story of blame and the
positive story of respect 71
The negative story of competition and the
positive story of cooperation 71
The negative story of "being stuck" and the
positive story of "moving forward" 72
The negative story of disorganization and the
positive story of order 72
The negative story of indecision and the
positive story of commitment 73
The negative story of rage and the
positive story of passion 73
Working in Mediation: The Construction Triangle 74
Building Empowerment and Recognition 74
Helping People Talk So Others Will Listen 76
Helping People Listen So Others Will Talk 79
Building Community Consciousness 81
Raising Awareness of Connections 82
Constructing Community Through Appreciative Inquiry 83
Building Commitment 85
Issue Framing 85
Deliberation 86
Resources You Can Use 87
4. Working With Groups and Teams 89
The Team Concept 89
Mediation and Teams 91
The Team Mediation System (TMS) 93
Creating an Environment for the Team Mediation System 94
Safe Environment 94
Collaborative Communication 96
Power Management 97
Process Management 98
Facework 101
Putting the Team Mediation System to Work 104
Listening 105
Acknowledging 108
Responding 112
Committing 113
Resources You Can Use 118
• PART III: Moving to More Complex Systems
5. Constructing Conflict Management Systems 121
Some Basic Approaches to System Design 122
A Systems Approach to Design 125
System Principles 125
Establishing a Systemic Mediation System:
The Case of Advanced Micro Devices 127
Revisiting the Five Characteristics of Constructive
Conflict Management 129
Collaboration 130
Power Management 130
Process Management 131
Face Management 133
Safe Environment 135
Five Characteristics in Action: Working in Argentina 136
A System in Formation 140
Resources You Can Use 146
6. Large-Scale Interventions 147
A Gaming Metaphor 149
Games and Communication 150
Prosperity Games™ 152
How Prosperity Games™ Work 153
Designing a Game 154
Levels of Game Play 158
Playing a Prosperity Game™ 159
Evaluation 162
Other Prosperity Games™ 163
Beyond Prosperity Games™: Advancing the
Communication Perspective 166
Resources You Can Use 167
7. Working With Public Issues 168
Camping Up and Striking Out 169
Community as System 171
Safety and Appreciation 173
Constructing Safe Environments 173
The Appreciative Turn 181
